18 week old will not nap in crib - at my wits end!

[Karenah86]

My 18 week old ds has been refusing naps in his crib for the past 3 weeks. I've been trying everything and really at my wits end. He's never been the best daytime sleeper but used to do stints of 30mins - 2hrs (on a lucky day) in his crib. I'm currently rocking him to sleep in my arms and trying to transfer him to the crib but his eyes pop open as soon as I put him down and nothing I do seems to soothe him. He sleeps lovely on me or my husband but I'mtnot finding that sustainable anymore as I can't get anything done and it's frustrating me! I've been trying the sling around the house which does work but I find it very tiring carrying him all the time. Plus in this hot weather I'm not sure it's good for him. Today I hit rock bottom as a friend suggested CIO worked for her baby. I'm that desparate that I thought I'd give it a go but he got in such a state, screaming the place down. We were both in tears, I just can't do it! I also tried PUPD with the same outcome. He just gets so worked up and screams until he's red in the face and coughing and spluttering So I'm now back on the sofa with him sleeping in my arms. Just wanted to know if anyone else is going through or has gone through this and how did you manage to get past it?

4 month sleep regression. Utterly exhausting but utterly normal. There are hundreds of threads on here about it.

18 weeks is far too young for CC/CIO. He’s not doing this on purpose. It’s a developmental stage.

Not sure what else needs doing, but your tiny baby needs you to cuddle him whilst he sleeps. I’m not sure I’d be prioritising other things.

You just need to remember this stage won't last forever, he's too young for CIO really.

This too shall pass

@NavigatingAdolescence I think that's probably exactly what I needed to hear. If I'm honest my instincts have been telling me he's not ready for self settling and just wants cuddles. Today being so bad has confirmed that! Thanks for your advice, I will try to worry less about getting things done and make the most of cuddles with my baby

@DiaryofWimpyMumm thank you! It's so hard when you're in the thick of it to believe that it will pass but your comment has reassured me. Also good to hear he's too young for CIO. I don't think I'd be willing to try that again even if he was old enough

Honestly mine never napped in their cot until much older. Car, pram, or bouncy chair was the only place. It's normal, although very, very tough!

[quote Karenah86]@NavigatingAdolescence I think that's probably exactly what I needed to hear. If I'm honest my instincts have been telling me he's not ready for self settling and just wants cuddles. Today being so bad has confirmed that! Thanks for your advice, I will try to worry less about getting things done and make the most of cuddles with my baby [/quote]
My baby is nearly 11 and I miss those cuddly days. 💕

@WhatsGoingOnHereThen thanks for your comment! I think the hardest part is the fact that he used to go down in his crib but now won't! It definitely is tough but good to know that it's normal How much older were yours when they did start sleeping in their cot, just out of interest

Ah my love. Cuddle that baby. It’s your arms and warmth and heartbeat that he needs. My DD is 7mo and doesn’t nap in her cot, she will in the pram or the car, but if you can make time for it and you’re happy to, then let him snooze on you

@NavigatingAdolescence so true! I'm sure I'll miss these days when he's older and doesn't want to cuddle his mum anymore! I'm definitely going to relax and enjoy this time more

Bouncy chair could be your friend. If you bounce it with your feet or have an electric one you can have a cup of tea at the same time.

I think I’ve just hit the start of the 4m sleep regression 😫 my baby is nearly 17 weeks and for the last week has been the same as yours, currently napping on me now as it’s either that or he wakes up and screams.
Weirdly from about 10 weeks old he hated being held/rocked to sleep and loved being put down with his dummy, now it’s like he’s back to being a newborn!
Obviously I have no useful advice sorry, but just wanted to say you’re not alone!
I’m going to be more organised tomorrow and make sure the prams ready to go so at least we can both get a walk out of it 🙈

Probably a few months after they moved to the cot at night (from a next to me). That was about 6/7 months, so the napping was probably about 9 months.

Will he nap in the pram? I know many people who walked miles and miles and miles in all weather as that was the only way their baby napped.

Have a look at some of the previous threads on here - as a PP said, there are hundreds. You are v much not alone and there is good advice to be found already on past threads.

It is tough but some of my best memories of DS and dd are sitting with them in my arms watching a box set whilst they napped! Housework or whatever else can wait but you will never get this time back. They change so much in the first year, week to week and month to month, each phase is so short but I know it's hard when you are in the thick of it!

I have exactly the same with mine, it started just before 4 months and she's now 5 months... A few days after it started someone gave us a sleepyhead and now she can be put down for 30 minutes or so. Only you know if it's worth it though, as it didn't make her nap any longer, I just got my arms back! Which I needed as this is DD2 and I can't be shut in a dark room away from a 2 year old ...

Don't rule out controlled crying (not the same as cry it out), it was the only thing that worked for my DD1. She must be one of the only babies in the world that hated cuddles! No co-sleeping or rocking for her, it all just enraged her.

Good luck! I would enjoy the cuddles too, but if you REALLY need your arms borrowing a sleepyhead might work.

@MonkeyPuddle thank you! Everyone's comments are making me cry, but in a good way! Feel silly for stressing over it now He does nap in the pram, car or carrier too which I have been utilising all 3 over the past few weeks. Guess I'll just carry on as I have been!

@Piccalily19 oh no! I feel your pain! But also glad to know I'm not the only one going though it right now, we've got this! Think I'm going to do the same with the pram tomorrow. I always feel better when I get out. I stupidly decided I was going to dedicate today to get him to sleep in his crib. I should have just stuck to what I've been doing the past few weeks to get by, we were both much happier!

Don't let him sleep in a car seat too long. It's not good for them.

But enjoy these baby cuddles, give it a few very short months and baby will be crawling over the place. And the house will still be standing and the house work will still need done.

@bakingdemon yes he does! Thank goodness, it's the one thing that's really helped. That and the carrier. Although my husband and I took him out in the pram at the weekend and on the way back he started screaming my hubby had to carry him all the way home as it was the only thing that settled him! We've been using the carrycot so I'm thinking maybe he doesn't like it anymore (he's very inquisitive and likes to see what's going on! )

My son STILL wants me to hold him during daytime naps. He's 15 months. I get headphones, tea, phone and find something to do while holding him!

I worry it's a bad habit of his but it IS kind of lovely.

I was still rocking DS2 off to sleep in the pram when he was one! He's 2.5 now and settles himself to sleep in his cot perfectly well. Honestly just go with the flow and do whatever is easiest on both of you.

@RoseHarper aww that's lovely to hear! And thanks so much for the reassurance. I'm sure I'll look back at this in a few months time and laugh/roll my eyes at how stressed I got! The housework definitely can wait You're so right about them changing week by week, it's crazy!

@watermeeon that's interesting about the sleepyhead. One of my friends actually suggested trying one too as it's the only thing that helped her dd sleep independently. I'm not sure how I feel about them due to the SIDS risk, but will keep it in mind!

Is controlled crying where you leave them for 1 min, go in to settle, then leave them for increasing amounts of time before settling again? If so, this is what my friend suggested I try today and it did not go well at all not sure I'm willing to give it another go! But glad it worked for your dd1, all babies are different I guess! Think I'll just stick to enjoying the cuddles for now ☺️

@ArialAnna go with the flow is exactly what I need to do! I've got too many different friends/family trying to give me advice but I'm just going to do what I feel is right! That's great to know your ds2 sleeps great now! They all get there eventually in their own time when they're ready ☺️