4 month regression maybe?

[RaeRaeMama]

Hello!

Desperate mum here!

Normally, my baby (almost 16 weeks) sleeps about a 4 hour chunk from 8:30-1:30 and after that it was a bit hit and miss how many times she would be up. I started to try to get her into a napping pattern during the day using her wake window and for the first week it was really successful! She started sleeping more in chunks so always the 4 hour chunk, then 2 OR even a 3 hour chunk (bliss) and then a 1hr chunk. Very manageable not bad at all!

Then five nights ago that stopped, now she is waking usually every 1 to 2 hours, sometimes less than that. Sometimes it's virtually impossible to put her down no matter how long I wait because she wakes when I put her in her next to me crib.

Last night i was up with her at one point for two hours just trying to put her down.

I should also add, she has gone through these phases before, she has had groups of nights of at least 2 nights to 6 nights where she has slept like this and then eventually gone back to her normal sleep. But having heard so much about the 4 month regression I wondering if this is it now.

When I put her down for a nap, she will sometimes wake up and just sit waving her arms around looking round the room and maybe talking to herself a little. Not distressed at all. But in the night she wakes and it escalates fast to a loud distressed cry.

I just feel clueless... and helpless I don't know how we are going to get through this. Our house is only little as well so it's not like my partner can try to get sleep elsewhere

Does this sound like it to you? How long did your baby sleep like this for?

Am I doing the right thing with her napping? We usually never manage more that 2.5 hours in the day and her last nap is around 4:30pm so she wakes maybe just after 5

Sorry for such a long post. It's so hard to know if you're doing the right thing or what to expect (and prepare) for

Also, I don't know if it is relevant but I do breast feed her and I either breast feed her to sleep or more recently she will sleep in my moby sling or Ergobaby. But she won't sleep in the car or in her pram she just sits there with her eyes wide open.

I do put her down a lot in the day, in her bouncy chair or baby mat, I always have and she's fine with that.

Im not sure if the timings you give here are night time, or daytime naps?

Are you wanting your baby yo sleep independently? In which case you need to help baby learn to go to sleep where they stay asleep (Not be put down already asleep).

I dummy helps with this. Plus loads of extra effort and help is needed.

Or do you prefer feeding to sleep and a more attachment parenting style (of sling or in arms for naps and cosleeping at night)?

Hi @FATEdestiny

Thanks for responding!

I feed her and put her down to sleep, she will sometimes look at me then turn her head and sleep, does that count?

Do you think if I put her down in her crib at a time she usually sleeps, she will actually go to sleep without feeding her? She won't take any of the dummies I have offered her although I did see someone say a NUK dummy is good so I have ordered one in the hopes of trying this.

If she wakes in the night, I have tried to give her a minute to see if she calms down and goes back to sleep, when she doesn't her crying becomes louder so I try to just hold her hand and shhh her, she yells louder and becomes more upset. In my mind it just seemed easier to soothe her on the boob rather than let her become more awake and wound up. Is that wrong?

I don't know what kind of parenting style I'm doing, it's just the.. I'm winging it style, I want an easy life style, I'm knackered style. I do feel I wouldn't want to leave her crying but I am happy to give her a few moments before picking her up to see if she calms down on her own.

If I keep feeding her to sleep is just going to permanently wake up for the boob?

Bump

Your routine sounds very normal to me at that age, I have had two girls. They both fed to sleep with no problems later. They are now 4 and 7 and sleep all night long so hang on in there! X

Do you think if I put her down in her crib at a time she usually sleeps, she will actually go to sleep without feeding her?

I think you are underestimating how much help your baby needs in order to sleep independently (independant sleep means going to sleep in the cot). You don't just put baby down and that's it - it always needs work.

Dummy will stop the crying, because it's impossible to cry and suck at the same time. Then you have to work really hard to get baby to go to sleep in the cot. Swaddling helps, it dulls external stimulation. But you might be a bit old for that if you've never swaddled before. Sucking helps (hence dummy). Patting and shushing might help - you have to be very consistent though and keep going for a long time. And as mentioned, without a dummy baby will probably cry/grumble through this.

If you're feeding to sleep - try feeding her to sleep lying down on your bed. Then leave her there and look up safe cosleeping.

@FATEdestiny

Do you think if I put her down in her crib at a time she usually sleeps, she will actually go to sleep without feeding her?

I think you are underestimating how much help your baby needs in order to sleep independently (independant sleep means going to sleep in the cot). You don't just put baby down and that's it - it always needs work.

Dummy will stop the crying, because it's impossible to cry and suck at the same time. Then you have to work really hard to get baby to go to sleep in the cot. Swaddling helps, it dulls external stimulation. But you might be a bit old for that if you've never swaddled before. Sucking helps (hence dummy). Patting and shushing might help - you have to be very consistent though and keep going for a long time. And as mentioned, without a dummy baby will probably cry/grumble through this.

If you're feeding to sleep - try feeding her to sleep lying down on your bed. Then leave her there and look up safe cosleeping.

Ok I think from what you've said the easiest thing is just to feed her for the time being, it certainly takes less effort in the night than rocking. I have swaddled her in a Tommy tippee Growbag but recently stopped because she did Roll over once and I wasn't sure if I still should? What do you think?

A girl from work said she kept swaddle her baby after 4 months and I was surprised, didn't even know that was a safe thing to do. Although logically she hasn't rolled from back to front only front to back and only a few times

I have been trying to get her to take a dummy but I'll just have to preserver because she's been spitting it out and eventually becoming annoyed with me for not just giving her the boob

I have fed her a few times in her next to me crib and this has gone very well. If she hasn't quite dropped off I will hold her little hand and rest my other hand on her chest, this is hit and miss as to whether or not it works.

Thanks for your help. It's just so hard to know whether you're doing the right thing or not, I wish I had friends with a baby too and then I could ask them!

It is a really tricky age. If you’re happy feeding her to sleep then great, she’s still very little, you could think about sleep training her when she’s a bit older.

If you want her to take a dummy then what I found worked was to offer it to her in the day when she’s happy and relaxed, she’s more likely to take it then and it won’t make her cross that you’re not feeding her. Once she’s happy taking it, then try giving it to her at night.

@Newmummy9

It is a really tricky age. If you’re happy feeding her to sleep then great, she’s still very little, you could think about sleep training her when she’s a bit older.

If you want her to take a dummy then what I found worked was to offer it to her in the day when she’s happy and relaxed, she’s more likely to take it then and it won’t make her cross that you’re not feeding her. Once she’s happy taking it, then try giving it to her at night.

Thank you. I will try this