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9 year old sleep

3 replies

2gd2btrue · 01/06/2021 03:42

9 year old DS has never been a great sleeper but this new phase is killing me. He keeps waking in the night for hours, saying he can't go back to sleep. First it was happening the night before he was excited about something, for example on Christmas Eve he was up until 3am after waking about 10:30pm. Now it's whenever.

He struggles to fall asleep sometimes, usually reads until half 8/9pm after we read to him. No screens roughly a hour before, except listening to Alexa while getting ready for bed. No caffeine etc, dinner is usually about 6ish so not hungry for a snack before he goes up. He always wakes early - anytime from 5:30am no matter what time he goes to sleep or how long he has been up in the night.

He says he isn't worried about anything, although he is a anxious kid and is seeing the emotional literacy support assistant at school who has given him breathing exercises. We have tried him reading/not reading. He has a fan he can control. We have blackout blinds and curtains. We have tried audio books and relaxing music. Lavender sleep spray. Encouraging him to rest rather then putting pressure on him to sleep. Nothing works, but the worst part is that he won't even take our suggestions most of the time for example we say count backwards from 100, he just says that won't work! I understand it's frustrating for him but I don't know how to help if he won't even try anything so we end up getting cross with each other and arguing because we're all tired. And it makes for a crap, grumpy day the next day too.

We now have a newborn who is obviously up half the night (doesn't wake DS when he is actually asleep and DS sleep issues were before baby) and a 6 year old DD who also wakes up most nights for the toilet/blanket needs fixing/bad dream. I'm so tired. Does anyone have any suggestions to help him please?!

OP posts:
FATEdestiny · 01/06/2021 09:27

Is he NT?

I'd be concerned about both a 9yo and also a 6yo waking most nights. I wonder if it is something inherent in the family routines that isn't helping their sleep, given both siblings are affected.

I'm not sure random on the internet can help past all the superficial stuff already mentioned. I think you might need to seek family support - explaining the situation to school might be a good place to find help.

(I can't imagine anything more tedious than counting backwards when I can't sleep. It doesn't help me. Personally when I'm a wake on the night I listen to an audiobook on my Bluetooth headband headphone. Critically though, it has to be a story im "in to", if I'm not then I don't settle into it)

2gd2btrue · 01/06/2021 10:53

Yeah they both are NT. Bedtime is just your basic upstairs for toilet, teeth, wash or shower, pyjamas, we read to them, they read to us. Into bed with a song for the little one and 9yo is allowed to read in bed (different times).

I agree counting is tedious but it was suggested in desperation (after googling how to help kids sleep!) And he does need something boring as anything 'exciting' keeps him awake. We got an Alexa for his room hoping audio books would work, but no luck.

6yo waking is usually a quick fix. She takes water to bed which is why she needs a wee usually and she fidgets loads in bed so the duvet gets tangled up which she finds uncomfortable. It's never both reasons, just either/or and she goes back to sleep immediately. It's just 9yo who wakes for ages.

I think I will have to talk to the ELSA at school. Thanks for your reply

OP posts:
Stringervest · 02/06/2021 06:35

Hi OP, I don't think I can offer any help with your 9 year old. It sounds really hard. My niece can be a bit like this, although she is only 4. I hope you find a solution.

Regarding the 6 year old, could you try and address the night waking, if only to help you? Could you teach her to go to the toilet on her own or not take water to bed? Could you try and encourage her to sort out her own blanket? Our DD is 4 and we are trying to teach her the difference between an urgent problem and something she can sort out herself, because we both work in demanding jobs and have a one year old who wakes more often. It's hit and miss but she now understands that bad dreams and illness = fine to wake us, but lost cuddly toys and random queries about what we are doing tomorrow = not fine.

I hope you get it sorted, you must be so tired Thanks

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