Another 2 to 1 nap transition - 16 month old

[DingDingTriangle]

Hi everyone.

Apologies for starting another 2 to 1 nap transition thread but I world appreciate some advice.

DD is 16 months old and goes to nursery full time. Up until recently she had the following routine although quite loosely as her wake up time would vary quite a lot.
Wake - 06:00 ish (sometimes as early as 05:00, sometimes 06:30)
Morning nap - around 09:15 - 09:45 (very rarely more than 30 mins)
Afternoon nap - sometime between 14:00 and 14:30 for around an hour
Bed - around 19:15 - 19:30

Recently nursery haven't been putting her down for a morning nap as 'she doesn't look tired', which means they keep her awake until after lunch and she goes to sleep around 12:30. She usually manages around 90 minutes but occasionally only an hour and 10. I've asked them to at least try putting her down in the morning so she gets the opportunity to sleep if she wants to, sometimes she does sleep but sometimes she doesn't. If she does sleep it can end up being quite late which then impacts on her afternoon nap and makes it very late. On the one nap days she ends up really tired by dinner and bath time. Today she had a 40 minute nap this morning then refused to sleep this afternoon, after being awake for four hours.

What can I do to help her? I've read about pushing the morning nap back by 15 mins every few days but then what does that mean for the afternoon nap and bed time? I've also read about cutting the morning nap short but she only does 30 mins whereas the articles I've read assume they are doing 90 mins! I suggested maybe giving her a 15 minutes power nap a little later in the morning, say around 10:00 but nursery aren't keen as they don't want to wake her. Should I just try for a one nap day from now on? Will she adjust? I think that having one nap some days and two naps on other days isn't working very well and we need a better routine.

Any advice would be really appreciated.
Thank you.

We recently went through this and decided to just bite the bullet and go for one nap. It was tough for a week or so but they soon adjusted to it and now comfortably on one nap a day at 18 months old (have been for a few months now).

I found nursery helped a lot as there is a lot going on there so easier for them to stay awake.

Thanks @kitten789 I think I'll just have to give it a go and hope for the best! I'm just worried as she still wakes at least once a night (when she's up for around an hour before going back to sleep) so I feel she still needs the morning nap to keep her going, although maybe shifting to one nap will solve the night wakings... One can only hope eh! Wish me luck!

We struggled at the same age when DS started nursery mornings. He was used to two fairly long naps. But we persisted and he ended up having a really chunky lunch time nap of several hours for the next year or so. It was my saving grace during first lockdown 😂

DD dropped her 20min am nap about the same age. It was instantly less stressful and she did a lovely long afternoon nap still for about a year after.

On home days we went for a pram walk at what-used-to-be-morning-nap time so she still got a rest/chill so she was ready for play again afterwards 👍

Thanks @sar302 and @CorpusCallosum

Did you find that the transition affected your DC's night sleep at all? We did one nap yesterday and DD woke four times overnight, so I'm expecting her to be really tired today. Do I still just push through until after lunch? I could try a slightly earlier lunch and get her down earlier for a lunch nap but then I assume I'd probably have to put her down early for night sleep too? I've always struggled with her sleep, it's the bane of my life!

DS has always been fairly good overnight, so the naps never affected him too much. But I think we might have brought his bed time forward a bit on days he didn't nap for quite long enough. Is that possible? Shortening the gap between nap end and end of the day?

Mine dropped his second nap at 12 months. I'd agree with nursery and go for the one. It's likely to lengthen over time.

You might need to do early lunch for a while and move the nap back later when she is more used to it. And early bedtime if she's struggling in the evening. It takes a while to settle down.

How do you get her to sleep at bedtime and naptime?

@FATEdestiny she used to self settle until she started nursery, went through a serious bout of separation anxiety (she hadn't been held by anyone other than me and DH since she was 7 weeks old) and picked up every cough, cold and bug imaginable so had a serious regression and reverted back to feeding to sleep. I've wanted to sleep train her again but she gets into such a state and because she's nearly always got a cough at the moment she ends up coughing and spluttering and then retching and vomiting. So I feel a little trapped. Even staying in the room with her doesn't work, she has a serious meltdown. I'd really like to get her self settling again but it just feels impossible at the moment. She sleeps anything from 3 to 8 hours before waking up but sometimes it's every 2.5.

@FATEdestiny I should add that I don't feed her before naps so it'd only need time and over night she gets fed. I have to cuddle and rock her to sleep for her naps, whereas she self settles at nursery. But if I leave the room to let her self settle she has a meltdown as described in my previous message.

@TooMinty and @sar302 I'll try a slightly earlier bed time and see if that helps. Thank you.