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9 month old sleep... help!

8 replies

osnapitzchloe · 27/05/2021 06:27

Sorry, long!

So his bedtime is 7pm. Usually feeds to sleep (FF). Wakes up at 8pm crying but I am able to successfully resettle him and he will sleep until around 12am for a feed. Will wake for another feed between 4/5 which before would send him back to sleep until 6:30/7:00, but lately he has just been too hyper to get back to sleep. They are hunger cries when he wakes up too. Room is dark, white noise speaker is on, I keep the interaction nil to minimum so he knows it's still sleep time. I wouldn't mind as much with the early wake up call if he was sleeping through but he isn't... I'm back at work full time now so I'm beyond exhausted. The problem is too when he wakes up at 5am he is obviously still tired as rubbing eyes and yawning but will fall asleep 1hr or so later anywhere between 30-90 minutes. I can't go back to sleep with him as I'm up for work. His naps during the day vary but generally 3-3 half hours awake time so first nap is at 10:00-11:30. Afternoon nap is around 3:00- 4:00.

Where am I going wrong? :(

Thanks from one very tired Mum

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
FATEdestiny · 27/05/2021 12:44

Feeding to sleep is a big cause of the problem. Do you have another way yo get him to sleep? Dummy and patting for example.

How many bottles is he having over 24h? How are his solids meals?

osnapitzchloe · 27/05/2021 17:57

@FATEdestiny

Feeding to sleep is a big cause of the problem. Do you have another way yo get him to sleep? Dummy and patting for example.

How many bottles is he having over 24h? How are his solids meals?

I appreciate that but I'm that sleep deprived it's out of desperation. I do resort feeding to sleep as a last resort. Do try rocking him but he won't settle without the milk. He doesn't have a dummy, refused to ever take one.

He's on 4 bottles during the day 8 oz but will physically only take 5-6 ounces but guzzles down his night feeds. He's on solids yes, he will only have a few bites though due to lack of interest so that's a working progress.

OP posts:
FATEdestiny · 27/05/2021 19:58

So night weaning is very necessary in your case. I assume when you say 4 bottles a day, that is 4 in the daytime plus 2 at night (rather than 4 in 24h, 50% of which is at night). The night feeds will be affecting his willingness to wean onto solids. By 9 months the shift wants to start happening whereby calories from food overtakes calories from milk - so that by 12 months milk is a small part of his diet, rather than the bulk of it.

That said - you have a chicken and egg situation with calories. He has night feeds so doesn't need as many calories in the daytime. But because he doesn't have enough calories in the daytime he is hungry at night - so the cycle continues. Breaking the cycle will be hard because of having to not feed a baby who is hungry. But being hungry for a few hours as baby gets older isn't a terrible thing, it's a natural normal feeling so don't beat yourself up over it.

By not feeding at night though, baby will be much more hungry in the morning and for the rest of the daytime. So shifting all calories into daytime hours will be done quite quickly, within 2 or 3 days (assuming you go cold turkey rather than drawing it out). Just make sure you add in an extra two bottles into your daytime routine (by giving bottles closer together). Then work on reducing milk in place of solids once all calories are in the daytime.

All that said, it's only indirectly related to sleep. So onto the sleep issue...

Good quality sleep hygiene needs him to go into his cot awake and go to sleep in there. Every time. so same for bedtime, naptime and all night wakes.

He is going to cry doing this. The joy of the dummy or feeding to sleep is that it allows for comfort sucking and it is physically impossible to cry while simultaneously sucking. Without the ability to comfort suck baby will cry. No ifs or maybes about it, he will.

The key this is though, don't take that crying as a reason to assume baby doesn't need to sleep, won't sleep, infact it might not even be distress. The only way baby can communicate is crying and these cries are baby telling you he wants to go to sleep but is frustrated because he cant. So you teach him . Teaching out children is a big part of being a parent. So try and reframe any crying as merely communication that he's tired.

That said, you still need to comfort him, im not advocating leaving him to cry to sleep. Without feeding he no longer has the comfort of sucking. So replace that comforting with in-cot comforting. Pat him to sleep in the cot. He's going to cry, so dont assume crying is a sign it's not working. But keep going.

Be consistent. Same all the time, same every time, same every sleep time.

wildeverose · 27/05/2021 20:19

He's not eating as much solids as he's having far too much milk. He needs to be eating food to bulk him out in the daytime now and drop the nighttime bottles. Drop to one to start and go from there, offer water instead of milk when waking.

wildeverose · 27/05/2021 20:21

@FATEdestiny all of this is fantastic advice also x

sandrasoh · 29/05/2021 05:23

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PixieDust28 · 29/05/2021 05:28

It's recommended that 9-12 months have about 3 formula feeds a day so OP is only giving one more as she said 4.

We all know milk is their main form of nutrition until 12 months old. If you don't want to cut him back then don't.

Maybe start when you have a day off with him introducing him to more solids.

Lay them out on a plate or tray and see what he picks up and eats etc.

wildeverose · 29/05/2021 19:59

@PixieDust28

It's recommended that 9-12 months have about 3 formula feeds a day so OP is only giving one more as she said 4.

We all know milk is their main form of nutrition until 12 months old. If you don't want to cut him back then don't.

Maybe start when you have a day off with him introducing him to more solids.

Lay them out on a plate or tray and see what he picks up and eats etc.

4 in the day and two at night - so that's 6, which is likely the issue
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