3.5 year olds sleep - end of tether !

[Verysleepymummyy]

My DS slept great right up until last year when me and his dad separated. He still sleep fine for dad but for me he is a nightmare.
For example tonight he went to bed at 715 and it’s now 845 and he keeps getting out of bed and going to the gate and shouting of me. It doesn’t seem to matter if I go in every 5 mins or every 10 mins. He immediately gets straight back up again! His dad told me to be firmer which I try and I try to used a firm voice but he just laughs.
Is there any good techniques to use at this age? Thanks

Urgh I feel your pain - I wouldnt be quick to blame it on the separation this seems to be en age where the perfect sleepers turn into nightmares (and whose to say the dad is telling you the truth?)

Anyway, I had the same with mine and what seemed to work well was not engaging - put him back 20-30 times if you have to but don’t look him in the eye, talk or show any emotion. After a while he will get bored (any reaction from you is a reaction so he will take it) and after 2-3 nights things should get better.

Gro clock if you haven’t already got one - explain that he doesn’t come out of his room until the sun is up.

Put a few toys/books in his room and say he can play for as long as he likes but he is not to come out of his room.

Mine is 4.5 now and whilst he’s not perfect we are down to only having to go up again once or twice to do a final tuck in.

Good luck

Rapid return is the usual technique to use at this age.

Don't close the gate or his door. Put him to bed after a short bedtime routine, say Nan night and wait by the door.

The instant he makes a move to get up, respond rapidly, straight away. Sturn face and a firm "No! Lie down". Change to a passive/non-angry face as he does. Say Nan night and go back to the door.

Repeat over and over and over and over again.

Never respond to any distraction requests. Don't laugh, don't engage. He stats in bed and if he doesn't you will rapidly return him.

When his dad was here he would always go straight to bed no problems and the odd time he would mess about then a stern word from dad and he would stop.
I did try a Gro-Clock but it didn’t seem like he fully understood

@FATEdestiny why shouldn’t I close the gate or door? (I have a camera so I can see when he gets up etc) He always asks for another hug whenever I take him back to bed and I feel so guilty not doing that, should I stop that?

So you can go straight back in as soon as he makes the slightest attempt at moving from his bed. You'll be waiting by the door. Zoom back to him, put back to bed, back to waiting by the door.

Close the door/gate once he's asleep.