I asked because this is a really common stage to go through when baby learns to pull to standing.
OK - this is basically a behaviour issue?m, rather than a sleep issue. It's often a problem for many families because it can be the very first example if unwelcome behaviour parents face, and so aren't sure how to go about dealing with it.
So basically you are teaching baby that just because they can stand up, does not mean they should. That there is an appropriate time to practice gross motor skills, and sleep time is not it.
So start off with a few other behaviour things to tackle, before looking at the actual unwelcome behaviour.
1. Independence of movement
Stop lying her down. Put her in this cot stood up, tap the mattress and tell her to lie down. She should be independantly moving as much as possible. In bed, she should be lying down herself. Likewise if she wants to get on/off the sofa, tap and get her to do it independantly. Do this is all environments, as much as possible.
2. Teach instruction following
Your baby will understand language fairly well already, even tho she can't articulate the language herself. Play instruction following games in the day time. Like Simon Says, but without Simon Says. Lots of cheering when she follows an instruction. Things like, sit down, stand up, lie down, where's your nose, bring mummy the ball, take this to Daddy, climb up, get down.... don't use complex language, simple instructions. Make a big fuss when following instructions. Babies/toddlers naturally want to be praised and make you happy.
Now in to bedtime itself
Set expectations
Be clear what you are expecting - these are your firm boundaries that you don't shift on. So you should be expecting her to:
- lie down at sleep time
- Be quiet at sleep time
What you cannot insist on is that she sleeps. But you're the parent, you know she needs to sleep (even if she disagrees, you do know best!). So while you cannot insist she sleeps, you can insist she lies down and stays quiet. Hopefully then she calms down, relaxes gets bored and goes to sleep.
Develop a mantra you repeat constantly. A simple way to encompass your expectations. For example "It's sleep time now. We lie down quietly to sleep. Nan night"
Be consistant
For a few weeks, you or DP need to committ to staying with her as she goes to sleep. It won't be forever, but necessary for now. Don't rush off from her, plan your time so you stay until she's asleep.
● Put her in cot stood up. Tap mattress, tell her to lie down. Smile and praise when she does as asked.
● Bend into cot, hand on chest. Kind, compassionate, smiley face. Say mantra. Wait with your hand in chest until she stops fussing.
• The hand on chest is yo physically keep her still as well as for comfort and reassurance.
• If she continues fussing, try patting with your hand
● once calm and still, give a few minutes and lift your hand and stand up, stay where you are by the cot tho. Keep kind/compassionate face. Add the odd shushhhing if she seeks reassurance.
• If fussing starts, backtrack. Hand back on chest, as above.
● If goes for standing up, immediately change facial expression to a . "No! It's sleep time now, we lie down quietly at sleep time. Nan night" (mantra). Tap matress, tell her to lie down. Wait expectantly. "Good girl, lie down" (or similar). Praise. Smiley happy face when instructions followed.
● when still and calm in cot, lift hand off chest and stay by the cot standing. Keep your attention on her. Respond immediately to any deviation from lying down and being quiet.
● Watch your factual expression - keep it muted praise (not too energetic at bedtime) or sturn as appropriate. Don't ignore, she needs to know you are watching and will correct any unwanted behaviour immediately.
● Stay there right through her calming and relaxing and dropping to sleep. Don't go for moving away as she relaxes or you'll go back yo the start. Stay standing, wait.
● Stay until about 10 mins after falling asleep, then sneek out ninja style.
Over time, there should be less messing around. You should expect start to finish to be 15-10 minutes or so.
Once the messing around has stopped (So she's accepted your boundary expectations on her behaviour), work on stepping away from cot as she settles, until you just wait watching by the doorway. Then after a while, say you'll keep an eye on her by staying upstairs as she goes to sleep, but not in the room.