Too early for 2-3-4?

[OhToBeASeahorse]

Daughter is 7.5 months. I hate the unpredictability of naps and when my son got into a routine set by a sleep consultant I was so happy. But i wonder if she is too young for it. So outline is awake for 2 hours then a nap of up to an hour, then awake for 3 then a nap of up to 2 hours then 4 hrs then bed.

She got really upset at lunchtime when she had been awake for nearly 3 hours. But then she slept like a log and didnt wake til gone 3. He last 3 nights we have had crazy amounts of wake ups and i was wondering if it is overyiredness. But a last nap would be so late.

Any advice?!

I found at this stage a very quick 3rd nap helped, just 10 mins is enough to see them through till bed time (in car or pram).

They're all so different aren't they. My second youngest had 2 naps (one after breakfast and another after lunch but her older sister hated napping and my youngest only had one nap. You know your children best of all but you might find that what suited one needs to be adapted for the other.

7.5 months as an age isn't too young for 234. What matters is if it is too soon for your individual daughter, regardless of her age.

234 assumes 15h of sleep (and 9h awake) in 24h. So as long as baby is either having 11h at night and 4h daytime, or 12h at night and 3h daytime, or there abouts, then she could do it. But only if she can stretch her awake times.

If she can't manage the long awake times or isn't getting enough sleep over 2 naps, then keep awake times around 2h and add in a teatime power nap.

I hate the unpredictability of naps

3-nap days can, and should, still be routined and predictable. An example (one if many) would be

7am wake
9am nap - wake by 10am
12pm nap - wake by 2pm
4pm nap - wake by 4.30
7pm bed

Thanks. The problem is she is still napping in the sling and trying to get he good rest while toddler DS is around is so so hard. He still naps around 12.30 to 3 so ideally she sleeps at the same time so she gets a proper rest. When we did gradual retreat with him consultants advice was

1. First make sure he stays in his cot all night- I.e. no cosleeping
2. Night wean gently
3. Start gradual retreat
4. Only then try cot naps and do it in line with how far along the gradual retreat road you are.

With DD we have ticked box number one and we are trying to night wean but she is proving tricky. Tonight she has fed twice but then fallen asleep back in the cot.

I feel like I'm in a catch 22 situation. Shall I just try cot naps and see what happens? At the moment when I get her to sleep it's sometimes alone in the cot and sometimes being rocked.

I feel like I'm failing them both and I'm so so tired.

You are not failing them at all. It sounds like you are doing a great job with them both and have a good routine.

Could you try putting her in the cot for nap and then gently patting and shhhing to get her to sleep? Then start the gradual retreat from there so once she is used to that then do less and less.

I did 234 from 4 months. Only thing that kept me sane

You don't have to do cot naps in order to follow a routine, if you don't want to.

If you're getting 12.30-3pm naps from your toddler then I'd definately use that as the static point for baby's naps - so they nap at the same time. And work everything around that.

Say it takes you 15-30 mins to get baby from awake to asleep. I'd put toddler down for the nap and immediately afterwards go straight into settling baby to sleep. So aim for baby to actually be asleep by 12.45-1pm.

Then work backwards from this. So you want at least 2h awake time previous to the nap, maximum 3h. So baby wants to be awake from first nap from between 10am-11am. So work backwards to work out start time.

Then regarding third nap (or not) will depend on how long the lunchtime nap is. If it's long, bring bedtime earlier and skip third nap. If it is short, add in a third nap and push bedtime later. Bedtime has to be flexible through this transition.

PS - there will come a joyous time in the future when both nap at the same time, easily. Fear not. It's tricky now, but it will come.

@FATEdestiny brilliant thank you you've confirmed everything I was thinking!

I had to wake her at 7 today and she did not want a nap on the sling so I tried the cot - she only did half an hour and was almost asleep on me but it's the first cot nap we've ever managed. I'm desperate for cot naps- would give me some time with my son in the morning and some time to myself in the afternoon!

I have just got her to sleep in the sling (very resistant!?) So hopefully she will have 2 hours. I had her in bed at 6.30 last night, will aim to do the same again.

It's so hard with 2 - at the moment their breakfast and dinners are at different times!

The sling nap thing needs to end. Toddler woke up at 2.10 which he never ever does and screamed for me so I had to go and on doing so woke the baby up. So annoying!

It's all a big balancing act - balancing out your priorities and what is more important than something else. Factors you're balancing here

• sling naps are longer. But they are less convenient for toddler.
• cot naps more convenient for toddler. More likely to be shorter.
• shorter cot naps mean minimum 3 naps per day needed. Longer sling naps mean they are consolidated into fewer naps and 2-nap days reasonable expectation.
• resettles easier with sling and don't take you away from toddler. Resettles in cot take you physically away from toddler and are harder.
• gentle techniques mean less crying, but will take a long, long time to get to independant sleep.
• you could get cot naps and strong routine much quicker, will involve crying and distress though.
• poor nights sleep means good daytime sleep is more vital or they'll be loads of tears. Or poor daytime sleep means better night sleep vital or they'll be loads of tears. If there's loads of tears even when using gentle sleep training techniques, is it gentle?

There is no right or wrong answer.

It's about working out your own priorities and making a plan from that.

Yes it is! Thank you so much. She definitely cant go as long as I had hoped. Woke at 6.15 today and sat her down to breakfast and she was just suddenly hysterical. Sobbed to sleep in my arms - i then put her down and after 30 mins put my arms on her and she slept happily - woke after an hour. But again suddenly desperate for sleep at 12.

Think I'll be a little longer before I get into a decent routine with her.