What do people mean by co-sleeping?

[MissHoney85]

My 5mo DD has never been a great sleeper, and has been particularly bad for the last few weeks - 6-8+ wake ups a night, 2 solid hours feels like a luxury.

On a lot of sleep threads I see people say that co-sleeping saved their life etc. I'm never quite sure what people mean by it though.

DD has a side cot, which I guess is effectively co-sleeping? In the early days I tried full same bed co-sleeping but following the safe sleep guidelines made it really stressful - keeping blankets and pillows away, making sure there was enough distance between us, DH in a separate bed etc. And DD objected to being put down just as much as she does in the Snuzpod anyway.

Do people mean contact sleeping? I end up doing that with DD for the second half of the night usually, though obviously that means I can't really sleep, and DD doesn't seem to sleep for any longer that way (though does settle much quicker). Is there a safer and better way to contact sleep in bed together? Now that DD is a bit older do I need to worry less about safe sleeping guidelines?

Definitions have moved around a bit...

From official sources co-sleeping usually means sharing a room but having different sleep surfaces and bed sharing is sharing a sleep surface. A bedside crib or sidecar cot is usually called co-sleeping.

From the general public co-sleeping is often used for sharing a sleep surface (bed)

Contact napping is baby sleeping glued to you, it's not safe to do this with you also asleep or at risk of sleeping.

Safe sleep guidelines definitely still apply to a 5 month old, pillow and duvets need to be kept away, still needs to be a firm mattress but I think the breastfeeding rule might not apply so much. The safe position to sleep with a baby is curled around them, you knees and bottom arm above and below them to stop you rolling. DH could be in the bed but you should be between them till I think at least 4 months and longer if her can't be trusted to not sleep to heavily.

Safe sleep guidelines in this country suddenly stop at 12m but there's no evidence for it suddenly being safer, that's just as far are research has been done and some more conservative guidelines go to 2 yrs and include things like co-sleeping/room sharing till 12 months

We have one giant floor bed. I sleep in the middle of it, with my children on either side. They are both in physical contact with me most of the night - if they start to wake up they’ll roll and snuggle in and go back to sleep.

When they were little I wore really warm pyjamas, had a blanket that only went up to my waist, used a small round cushion as a pillow so I knew it would just stay under my head. You can relax more once they can move around by themselves.

In the early days if my DD wouldn't sleep at night, I'd have her on my chest whilst she slept (although I didn't sleep!). I once tried co-sleeping with her in the sleepyhead next to me but freaked out about something happening to her so left that idea behind. She's now 2 and I sometimes sleep with her if she's up super early or at nap times but that's about it.

I'd be more likely to say bed sharing but for me it was baby in bed next to me. They had a side cot but were never happy in it. As per PP knees beneath them, curled round. Fed lying down, so we'd stir, have some milk and drift back off. I didn't have sleepless nights with either. My husband was also in bed but I was between them. I found this website useful www.basisonline.org.uk.

I would say we cosleep:

It’s all stressful, don’t worry, which ever way you choose to sleep.

When DC was that age he slept in my bed, I took the duvet out of my cover and just had the cover. I had one tiny pillow the size of my head, he had a blanket, DP sometimes was in the bed and sometimes wasn’t depending on the position DC slept in. We have a firm pillow topped mattress so there’s no roll or anything which for me is critical, getting wedged anywhere would have been a nightmare.

There were some nights he need to be touching me, for that it was usually cuddling my arm or something. He always liked his bare feet touching me too.

He’s 11m now and we still sleep in the same bed, I tried moving him out but we all hated it. I’m less worried about duvets and so ok now though, I have a duvet back in the cover and a nice pillow. He climbs around the house during the day and even in his sleep he moves himself if he’s not comfortable so I’m far more relaxed about him being in bed. We all sleep great. DP sometimes sleeps with us sometimes not, again it depends ok what position DC is in. He still loves his feet touching me so sometimes we’re at 90 degrees to each other 😂.

Cosleeping means sharing the same mattress/surface as baby when they sleep.

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/

Room sharing means staying in the same room as baby when they sleep.

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/room-sharing/

Contact sleeping is baby sleeping in contact with you. This could be in your arms, on you or next to you. If you are awake for this, you are not cosleeping, just contact sleeping. If you are sleeping while contact sleeping, this is cosleeping.

Side cot is not in itself cosleeping, if you sleep on your own mattress and baby on his/her own mattress. But if you fall asleep on or partly on baby's mattress, it is cosleeping. If baby falls asleep on your mattress (to be later moved into cot) then they are cosleeping while both are asleep in your bed.

HTH.