Wits end with 5 month old who cries herself to sleep

[Natasha162017]

Hi there, I have a 5 month old who is a nightmare to get to sleep, she screams the house down particularly during day naps. I am putting her down when she starts showing signals of tiredness and then as soon as bring her into room, put her into sleep bag she goes mental screaming. She doesn’t take the dummy but has a comforter she likes to suck. I have music on the same I use during the night. I try and settle her by patting her and stroking her face nothing will settle her. At nighttime she is not too bad to get down now although that has been a working progress from screaming for an hour and a half. If anyone has any tips please that would be great! I’m at my wits end she has broken me completely.

Also she won’t take A bottle for me and screams the house down when that is offered to her too!

They sleep and bottle is my battle with her. Other than that she is as pleasant a wee thing just struggles with these things.

Please help!

Has she always cried to sleep for every single nap? Or has something changed, if so how recently?

She has always done this, so it’s not new but i have been trying to persist and get her to settle for longer which resulted in more crying! It’s so upsetting for me.

So when she (finally!) does go to sleep, what us the usual process to get her there?

What is her usual daytime sleep routine? When and for how long is she sleeping?

Does she scream at every feed or just bedtime? Screaming at the bottle is a sign of silent reflux (unfortunately I had a bottle refused too who had reflux) as is being laid flat on their back. I wonder if that's why she doesn't like bedtime if she is on her back?

I used to cuddle my eldest to sleep at this age and put him down once he was asleep. We weaned early because of reflux (under medical advice before I get the usual pile on) which helped with the bottle refusing.

My youngest wasn't as bad with naps. I could put him in the cot for a nap and he would self settle. I did still cuddle him to sleep at night though. He was also a bottle refused though and we weaned early with him too.

BTW, I used to keep mine upright as physically possible. Cuddles involved putting them on my chest with their head on my shoulder.

@FATEdestiny she doesn’t always get as upset at nighttime. For nighttime sleep she just takes a lot of patting, holding hand then drifts off it can be 10-40 minutes but there isn’t as much crying.

For day time it’s feed her to sleep, hold her for a good while then lay her down and hope she settles. Keeping her super cosy.

Her goes to bed at night between 6.30-7.30pm and is either sleeping through until 6-7.30am or waking once during the night.

@OodieWoodie she only cries at the attempt with the bottle. Only wants to be breastfed.

She is completing breaking me! I have a 3 year old who I exclusively breastfed until 6 months but did use the bottle on occasions. Then transitioned to bottle completely by 7.5months. I’m never going to get her into a bottle.

@FATEdestiny sorry meant to say interms of naps she goes down a good few mornings after about 10 minutes around 9.30
For a sleep between 20-45 minutes. After that it’s failed attempts And maybe 10-20 minutes when I’m successful getting her down. It’s hard work takes 15 minutes to settle for 15/20 minute sleep.

How about naps in something that moves, like a bouncy chair for example?

Your baby is very sleep deprived on that small amount of sleep. This is probably adding significantly to her distress.

I think naps in cots during the day can be a bit hit and miss with babies at this age, my baby is 7 months and she sleeps in the buggy or car seat or baby chair during the day. Mine won't take a bottle either but has suddenly taken to a dummy and comforter.
You could try getting her to sleep in the buggy for a week or 2 to get a regular sleep routine in place during the day, and then when that time is predictable you could try her in the cot at that time.
I wouldn't stress about daytime cot sleeps though until the naps are longer, I've always put mine in the cot when they get down to 2 or 1 decent length naps a day when they are nearing a year old

@FATEdestiny I know she must be exhausted but doesn’t in any other way except fighting the day time naps. She is a smiley happy baby inbetween. My mummy said about trying her bouncer too, even though there is a lot of stimulation in my house between a 3 year old that loves her wee sister and a dog but will give it a go.

@rainbowfairydust I was doing walks for an hour for her midday nap but our weather has been crap like so rainy in Ireland so that stopped past few weeks. She hates the car seat. Although I use to put her in car seat for Creche run in mornings and afternoons but now my in laws have started doing it because we have moved in with them for house renovation. But might start back to that routine next week and at least she is getting some sleep at those times.

Thanks I’m emotionally drained with the screaming at day sleeps and bottle sleep. I’m being a crap mummy then to my 3 year old who is a wee gem. Pure mummy guilt.

My mummy said about trying her bouncer too, even though there is a lot of stimulation in my house between a 3 year old that loves her wee sister and a dog but will give it a go.

Listen to your mum. Or me....

I have four children with an age span of 10 years from youngest to oldest. I've always had a toddler at home while I had a baby, and at times two toddlers. I also have a neurotic cocker spaniel and before her there was a bonkers cocker spaniel.

The bouncer is your answer.

Remove the play arch from the bouncer and park it on the floor in front of the sofa. Then you can either sit on the sofa and bounce with your foot, leaving hands/arms/lap free for toddler. Or sit on floor next to bouncer and bounce with one arm while active playing with the toddler.

As for any concern about noise, bussle and stimulation - get that out of your mind. There is a reason second and subsequent babies are "easier" and this is it. They get used to sleeping through life going on around them, rather than being precious about needing silence and darkness. They are better for it and definately end up with better sleep habits!

Listen to your Mummy!

@FATEdestiny thanks! I will give this a go! It’s a worth a try. I’m gonna keep the morning nap she seems to be fine with this one it’s the rest of the sleeps that are the struggle! Wish me luck!

Have you tried sleeping on her side for day naps? My ds gets uncomfortable on his back so wakes quickly but is better in his side, this is in a Moses basket that he will soon outgrow 😭

I only have one tip: if her screaming gets to you wear earplugs.
they won't fix the problem but you can stay calmer for longer.

My daughter used to have terrible wind and was screaming into my ear for 40-50 mins after each feed while I tried to get her to burp. using earplugs saved my sanity

best of luck
(I have 7 kids, only the last one was a great sleeper at that age. I feel for you)

@mimofboy2 my mummy said about trying the side naps for her so that’s an option too! Thank you x

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba ear plugs 🤣 she does have wind too so I’m always conscious that can be annoying her.

She is lucky she is cute...that’s all I will say!

😁

I was dead serious about earplugs though!
I have hyperacusis so not allowed to use them regularly but it was the only thing that helped me feel less stressed.

If she has wind I wonder if that's the main culprit. DD never would've slept while in pain.
But as soon as she burped she'd be fast asleep in a few minutes.
I couldn't believe it would take near an hour that get a burp out of her but perseverance paid off every time.

This is tough times for you x

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba she is a really windy baby and glurps while feeding so does need winded so sometimes it can be wind but other times she just is fighting it which is most of the time. I’m gonna start again tomorrow and let her sleep in the morning time and after that Just roll with it. I can’t go on with those afternoons tough going

rooting for you!

Birth of mine wouldn't have slept if I put them in their core, hand holding or not. So they slept in the pram after a short walk or in the sling and we then transferred them to a flat surface. My second still breastfeeds to sleep at 2 when I'm around. But it works, and usually quickly and with no tears. If them to self settle in the cot isn't working they're are plenty of other ways of doing it which might suit better.

@Natasha162017 I know this is an old post but did you get any luck with the naps?
My girl is 5 months and we are in the same situation, however I have to rock her before I put her down. She cries herself to sleep, so hard!