4 and a bit month old awake every 40 mins, please help!

[JulieHanlon12]

I have a smiley, contented and happy 4 month old (5 months on 8th June) and I really feel like I can't complain as during the day, he is a wee dream. He can play by himself (i just mean in his sit me up seat) whilst I get showered, dishes etc for over 30 mins, just content with teething toys or this morning 😂 however he has never been a great sleeper. He is BF, and the most we've got is 2/3 hours, occasionally 4 at his first stretch of sleep. We think he is teething, I can see white on his gum but its been the same for weeks. We get through about 6 bibs a day as hes so slebbery. Over the last week he has been so upset at night. He used to be able to go in the cot, awake, blethers to himself and then falls over, no dummy. Now, he can't do this, screams blue murder, I put dummy in and he takes the dummy out himself, then cries to get it back in!! I feel like im going insane! Then, when he does sleep, it's about 40 mins before he wakes again. We try most things, check if too hot too cold, needs winded, needs changed but most times if I lift him he goes back to sleep. But what is waking him for him to be so upset?! I feel so bad like I'm missing something. I give nurofen before bed for his teeth when I think they're bothering him but don't want to give him hard painkillers if that's not the cause. So sorry for the long post but if anyone could shed some light or tips I would be most grateful!!

This is classic 4 month sleep regression territory. I don't have any advice, other than, this too shall pass. My baby is 16 weeks on Friday and I am waiting for the regression to kick in. Sleep and developmentally the 4 month mark is a very challenging time for baby and parents, with so much happening in one go. There's lots of information online regarding the regression and what development leaps your baby will be going through right now, which may help you understand it better.

You say he is dribbling a lot. My son used to get sore ears when he dribbled a lot and a pediatrician suggested slightly raising the head end of the bed as it helps things “drain” when they are lying flat. We found it did. Although this was 20 years ago … and we raised it using phone directories under the legs. 😂

Sounds like it could be a growth spurt? Just feed him as much as he needs. It's exhausting but won't last long.

Sleep deprivation from a lack of daytime sleep often causes very disturbed and restless nights. It's because baby struggles to get into a deep sleep and so in the light sleep wake a very easily.

What's daytime sleep routine like?

@FATEdestiny funnily enough I read advice you had given on another post about naps and have followed it today! I was following a 2 hour wake window regardless of how long he had slept, so in the morning he would sleep first nap around 10ish for 30 mins, wake at 11ish and try for next nap at 1. Today, he had first sleep at 10.15 ans slept until 11.45! Then went back down 1.50pm for 30 mins, and then again at 3.45pm for another 40 mins. Its definitely an improvement and much more than hes had over the past week or so. Do you think this could be the main cause for bad sleeping through the night?

4 month sleep regression is a killer. You just have to ride it out. It won't last forever but it certainly feels like it at the time.

Download the "wonder weeks app" it's quite interesting and gives you an insight into baby regression and growth x

Do you think this could be the main cause for bad sleeping through the night?

Yes, it's the most likely reason. It's more likely than teething pain, since that isn't especially significant until teeth actually break the gum (and then it's only 2 or 3 days of pain). To medicate fairly long term for "teething" isn't a terribly good thing to do imo.

I'd lower those wake times further, especially your first one. 10.00am is very late for first nap. It does depend on what time baby wake up, but I'd expect most to be starting first nap between 8am and 9am. Baby may well be starting the day over tired, then it just gets harder as the day continues.

If ever you are not sure about awake times, always err on the side of less awake time, not more.

@FATEdestiny thank you so much. This makes so much sense. So he actually doesn't wake till around 8-8.30am but it really can vary. I'm guilty of trying to get him back to sleep if he wakes around 7 as I'm aware hes hardly had much solid sleep through the night, this will probably be the problem aswell won't it?! I know, I feel so guilty about the medicine if its unnecessary but you just don't know the problem its hard to tell!! He goes to bed between 7 and 8, is this okay?

To set his body clock to recognise the difference between daytime (and seperate naps) and night time (with solid sleep and no awake time), you need to accept that if waking anything from 6am onwards, then any additional sleep at that point is likely a nap and needs some awake time to define it as such.

@FATEdestiny that makes so much sense. I think when you are so sleep deprived you do anything to get them back to sleep!! He used to be great at settling at night without a dummy in the cot himself. Now he just cries so much each time the dummy falls out. Is this likely to be related to the naps too? How much time should I leave before last nap and putting him in the cot?

4 month sleep regression is brutal for all concerned! DS was exactly the same but it does get better. He always suffered with teething, so much drool and teeth took forever to cut through. I used anbesol liquid on his gums when his teething was really bad, that did help.

He used to be great at settling at night without a dummy in the cot himself. Now he just cries so much each time the dummy falls out.

In recent weeks I have had quite a lot of threads about dummy use and dummies falling out. If you search my username and "dummy fall out" you'll get tons with lots more detail - I post on this often

The thread above will give much more detail, but in a nutshell:

• it's important to use a dummy consistantly, every time.
• Dummy is meant to fall out. It is not meant to stay in baby's mouth throughout the sleep.
• Dummy gets baby from awake to a light sleep in a calm, swift manner. From the light sleep sucking slows and stops (dummy droops) and then once in a deep sleep jaw muscles relax, nothing holds the dummy, it drops. This whole process should take max 10 minutes.
• healthy sleep cycles are

RESETTLE > LIGHT SLEEP > DEEP SLEEP > LIGHT SLEEP > DEEP SLEEP... (no waking)

• Unhealthy sleep cycles are

RESETTLE > LIGHT SLEEP > DEEP SLEEP > WAKE > RESETTLE > LIGHT SLEEP...

• or

RESETTLE > LIGHT SLEEP > MORE LIGHT SLEEP > WAKE > RESETTLE > LIGHT SLEEP > MORE LIGHT SLEEP... (no deep sleep).

All a dummy does is make the resettle to light sleep but easier. If baby is failing to get into a deep sleep this will mean waking much more easily from a light sleep. Most likely cause is sleep deprivation or hunger. If baby is waking frequently between sleep cycles this is usually down to not going to sleep in the place they went to sleep and the confusion/upset that creates when stirring.

In short - something is causing baby to wake frequently, it isn't the dummy. But the dumny is making getting back to sleep easier.

How much time should I leave before last nap and putting him in the cot?

Throughout the whole day follow cycles of awake windows. Whereby the awake window between two naps (or last nap and bedtime) is around double the previous nap length. Give or take 15 minutes. And never mire than 2h.