Who’s do I break the overtired cycle?

[Gemskiola]

My son has just turned 5 months and since 8 weeks old he stopped taking naps. His night time sleep got worse and worse and I spoke with a health visitor and she advised me how to try and get him to nap, saying he is over tired. I don’t want to do CIO but trying to approach it gently practically lead to this as he just screams hysterically if I do anything other than breastfeed. Nights improved slightly though (not waking every 20 minutes, perhaps getting and hour and a half) I then decided that I’d let him sleep however works (breastfeed/contact nap) just so he can catch up and establish some kind of routine...however he just. Won’t. Sleep.
I wait for all the tired signs, watch his wake windows, go to a quiet, dark room with white noise and bf him. He eats, falls asleep for 10 minutes then wakes, he might repeat this cycle (although the HV told me anything less than 30 minutes is not restorative sleep) He then gets to a point where he seems awake again but within 10 minutes he is acting sleepy and I know he hasn’t really had proper rest. I end up in this cycle, sometimes trying to rock him (but he just screams at me-it did work a couple of days ago but now has stopped) I don’t see how I can break the cycle of him being overtired if he won’t sleep for more than 20 minutes
It is affecting my mental health so badly. I feel stuck and get so angry and frustrated at hours upon hours of sitting in a dark room. Does anyone know how I can break the cycle?!

Does he sleep when in a sling or pram? My DD would only every sleep in a sling when walking so I had to get out in the wind and rain and plod for hours and hours when she was little. Eventually i got it so I could come back inside after she was asleep and gently sit down on the sofa with her still in the sling.

Also is general health ok? Bad sleep is often a sign of allergies causing silent reflux.

I think you need to preempt any signs and just go for a walk with him in the sling or pram, or a drive, at the required nap time.

If he sleeps when feeding, would you consider a dummy or similar to help him sleep? Or co-sleeping? I would try to work on a sleep comfort aid. I read the book gentle sleep guide which gave lots of good practical advice on how to tackle sleep at different ages - worth a read.

He sometimes falls asleep in a sling but doesn’t in the pram, it’s a bit hit or miss. He won’t take a dummy, just kind of chews on it like a teething ring and spits it out. He does likely have a milk allergy but he is on aptamil pepti for that ( combined fed baby) and I don’t eat dairy...what’s a sleep aid? I’ll look into that book

It is affecting my mental health so badly.

It will be affecting baby's health too. I think you will need to sleep train.

If baby isn't sucking, this WILL involve crying. A lot of it. That doesn't mean you should leave baby to cry uncomforted.

5 months is probably too late to establish a dummy. But Id try. Dummies are the single best way to gently and without crying achieve independant sleep.

Are you off soya too? Is the formula just hydrolysed or is it actually df. I don't know enough about the formulas to know. But I'd be thinking since there is an allergy issue that this is the most likely cause. I would look at that before sleep training because if there is a physical cause then sleep training isn't going to help at all and just make you more miserable.

I just checked, it's a hydrolysed formula so I would be down to the GP to ask for neocate or elecare I think it is? Completely df formulas, and then see if things improve after a week or so. I'd also cut soya from your diet as the proteins are so similar to cows milk.

Have a look at the possums approach to sleep - babies don’t need training to sleep and overtired is a bit of a myth (and isn’t something you need to “break”)

The Facebook group “ten beyond sleep training project” is really helpful.

I am off soya too and I did ask the GP for an almino acid based formula but only a paediatrician can prescribe it, I have an appointment but it’s not till the end of June 😩. I’ve not heard of the possums approach...I’ll check it out