5am wakings

[hrp2020]

Will I ever be able to transition to one nap? My almost 15 month old DS keeps waking between 5-5.30am. He is then happy chatting in his cot or sucking his thumb until 6.30-7 which is great but he is then always grizzly before 9am as obviously gets tired. He then goes down (occasionally refuses) for 30 minutes and then I wake him. This is so that he still has his longer afternoon nap as otherwise he has missed a few and then he is sooooo overtired. He then goes down around 1pm for anything from 1 hour 10 mins to the very rare 2 hours! Bedtime is 7pm but often falls asleep nearer 7.30. Please help! I can hear him at 5am and can't get back to sleep myself. I'm looking forward to when he does do one nap a day so that we can go out and do more things now lockdown has eased.

Not an expert at all but could you try bring the lunch nap forward for a bit and dropping the morning one?

As an interim, I would do a longer morning nap. Then push afternoon nap later and in turn bedtime later.

The morning nap needs to go! Sometimes they wake early as they know they can have a nap a couple of hours later - if you can make him last until 10.3/11 to start off with and then he should hopefully have at least 2 hours and I’d do an early bedtime - don’t ever be afraid of putting them to bed too early - sometimes this also helps with early mornings!

I’ve had 4 girls, by 15 months they just have a lunchtime nap 12.30-2.30, 3 at the latest and then bed by 6.30 at the latest and they’ve all slept through for 13 hours so up at half 7 ish!!

Thank you all. Definitely don't mind doing an early bedtime but when we have tried that when he has had a one nap day (at 12.30) he was so overtired as only managed an hour and a half nap and so even by 6 so exhausted that he was then hyperactive and didn't settle until nearer 8 despite having been put to bed early. I see what you mean regarding them knowing they get a nap soon after waking though. I guess I need to bite the bullet and drop that 30 minute nap but he often will only nap about an hour and a half at lunch time and then just be hard work! Plus he has always been a very early riser so I wonder if that's just him?

@Matilda1981 @thaimoon so the morning nap has been dropped and he goes down for one nap at approx 12. He is still taking forever to fall asleep at nighttime (8pm rather than the usual 7pm). Same bedtime routine as always which always used to work and put down about 6.45pm. Just keeps getting up in his cot and bounces around. Eventually falls asleep on his own. He is then still waking about 5.30!!!! If anything it seems to be worse not better! Any ideas? Again he is happy in his cot until nearer 6.45am. Feel like it's more than a phase as it's been months of the early wakings.

I would move the afternoon nap to around 11:00 for a few days to see if that helps him sleep longer. Then earlier bedtime if he only sleeps for an hour. I would imagine he’s adjusting to less naps and it will improve with time.

Early morning wake ups are so common at there age, there isn’t really anything you can do to stop them, just ride it out.

No advice really but wanted to offer some solidarity as my 13 month old also wakes at around 5am every day. It has recently started getting earlier to 4.30am some days. The tiredness is a killer. I was reading about the wake to sleep method on here but not sure I'm brave enough to try it out!

Sounds to me like he's overtired. I would let him sleep as long as he wants in the morning and again another nap 4 hours after waking from 1st nap with a later bed time. My LO was 4.30/5am waker for a long time and I tried everything to shift things. The only thing that worked was later to bed, but with good naps in the day. I understand you'd rather baby be on 1 nap but they don't sound ready just yet. My LO is 17.5 months and recently transitioned to 1 nap, in the 2-3 weeks of 1 nap days we've had to do 2 2 nap days. It's a shock for them to be used to a certain amount of time awake to then jump hours extra awake. I also found when he was taking 2 naps, If I capped 1st nap he wouldn't sleep well for 2nd nap, so although it goes against the grain, I let him sleep as long as he wanted for nap 1 and capped nap 2 if it was going to affect bedtime.

We have had a few wobbly days this week but done a 2 nap day a couple of days ago which reset everything and he is now still sleeping since 11am... 2 hours 40 and still going.

I think lots of people struggle with nap transitions because they do it too early. I was dreading it because of everything I had read on here but actually it's pretty much been smooth sailing, other than a couple of grouchy days. If I had tried any earlier he simply wouldn't have managed.

Also, regarding being able to do more with only 1 nap, I found our 2 nap schedule better for baby groups as now he can only do a 9-10.30 so we can get home, fed and nap for 11. When he was on 2 naps (9-10.30 & 3-4) we done lots of lunchtime groups and clubs. I don't feel we have that much more time freed up

Quite honestly it's become even more disastrous. Only 20 mins nap all day on Thursday when we drove to my in laws and some other bad nap days (total of one hour). Therefore early nights and even earlier wake ups! Today only 30 minute nap at 9am as he was so tired after waking at 5am and refused a nap all afternoon! Bedtime will be interesting....! I now know why I have moved to one nap.

I don't think you are giving him enough help yo get to sleep. He is evidentally unable to settle to sleep easily on his own (because he would be going to sleep in about 10 mins if he was) so needs more support.

I think he is now overtired and needs both a morning and afternoon nap.

@FATEdestiny I'm not 100% sure that is what it is as he fell asleep in 10 mins for his nap at 9am this morning and then again 5 mins at bedtime tonight. He just didn't want to settle this afternoon. I went in several times to try and help him but he was wide awake and just wanted to play.

I was writing in relation to him refusing to sleep this afternoon, when you knew he needed to sleep: "refused a nap all afternoon!"

I'd counter that with this isn't him "refusing", it's him not getting enough help.

Evidentally when he is thoroughly exhausted, he will go to sleep. But refusing sleep until he is completely exhausted is not healthy.

It would be healthier to teach him how to go to sleep when he's only just started feeling tired, way, way before being exhausted. Most children need to be actively taught how to do this.

I know you are not going to want to hear this but I have to say waking at 5am is completely normal and there is no quick fix. If your child is an early riser then this might just be how he is.

He also sounds overtired to me and I definitely wouldn't be forcing a nap drop. Let him sleep when he is tired, I don't mean to sound harsh but I think you are trying to fix something that wasn't broken in terms of number of naps and waking at 5am.

Thanks at @Mattieandmummy I have also thought this. If 5am is just him then that's ok (I will just have to learn to love early mornings 🤣). With regards to the naps I don't mind giving two but he refuses the afternoon one if he has a morning one and vice versa. So clearly that means he is ready for one nap? Which is better off being in the middle of the day to avoid what I had yesterday of him being awake basically all day! I have read that the 2 to 1 transition is a tricky phase and takes time.

Definitely, some seem to take months and months to make that transition. Not all do best with a middle of the day nap.... My DD was a morning napper 🤷 and then asleep by 7pm-ish until up at 5.20am to the second. I would see what he does best on and try not to worry what he 'should' be doing and move your bedtime forwards because he could be doing this for quite a while 🤣

Thank you @Mattieandmummy - I wish they came with a manual 🤣 will see how the next few weeks go. Wish me luck!

Just looking for hope reading this thread… my baby is 14 months now and we have been on the dreaded 5am wake up bubble for the past couple of months.

@hrp2020 any improvements (and tips please) with your LO wake up time?

@Mumsbrunette it's such a hard phase so I feel for you. Our mornings got slightly better (nearer 6am) over time. He started taking longer falling asleep at night time so nearer 8pm (even though put down for 7pm) and he just seems to only be able to do 10 hours max at night. Frustrating when you just know that they would be happier and less grumpy with more. Can't really offer any advice other than hang in there!

We have actually regressed again here as since being poorly he has started waking in the night lots and being very restless (was never an issue before) so isn't getting good quality sleep so the early wakings have appeared again some days. Hoping he will get back into the swing of things once his cold has fully cleared. He has also started two mornings of nursery (which he isn't used to yet/not enjoying as is only used to being with me 24/7 so is being very clingy/whingy) so I think it's just a tricky time for him. I also feel Like I have the worlds most stubborn toddler as literally cries unless he is doing exactly what he wants. Hates swimming lessons as not in control etc etc. Toddlers are so hard!!!! Our second is due in 5 weeks - not sure how we will cope! Along with that he isn't really eating any food and just wanting snacks. Being fussy over everything! Moan over. I so hope it gets better for you! It will I am sure of it.

Good to know it does get better :) I guess it is patience and trying to juggle naps and bedtime right.. today we had a 7am wake up, what a bliss! Everyone feeling great in the morning. Hoping this is the beginning of a new normal (instead of a catch up on sleep). We have been trying our best juggling the nap transition, but our baby also goes to nursery during the day and he doesn’t always sleep great there. He’s only been there for a couple months now, so I’m hoping he will get more used to the sleep setting there over time. Stubborn toddlers is right… mine is the same, especially at the end of the day. We have a cuddle overload to compensate the time apart. All a phase again I suppose..
Congratulations on the baby and good luck with the birth and all ;) surely things will fall into place, I guess it is a matter of crossing the bridge when it comes. All will be good ;)

I started this thread 5 months ago and it appears we still have 5am wake ups! Any tips on how to re-set a child's body clock? It makes no difference what time he goes to bed at night or how much he has napped in the day. He cries out at 5am and cannot get himself back to sleep. He stays In his cot rolling around sucking his thumb as still so tired but can't manage to get himself off. The street we are on does have a lot of a traffic at this time but I tried white noise and that did nothing. If I go in to try and re-settle it makes it worse as he then wants to get up and be with me. He has nursery today until 12pm and been awake since 5am so the poor boy will just be on/off crying all morning (what he is like when exhausted especially at nursery as struggling with the transition being away from me). He also didn't fall asleep until 8pm last night so only 9 hours of sleep for a very active little boy. Any useful tips would be appreciated. Baby due in 2 weeks so going to be exhausted! I wouldn't mind if he was happy on such little sleep but he isn't. On the odd day he has slept until 6.30am he is a totally different happy child.

Sadly I don't think there is an answer my DS (21 months) has woken up around 5:30 since 4 months I've tried everything and nothing works I've learned to accept this is life for now. I go to bed at 9:30 every night which isn't great but it's needed.
I try and drag his nap out as late as possible but it's normally at 11:30 and I normally only allow 2 hours otherwise it effects the night - yesterday I had a nap and forgot to set the alarm so he slept for closer to 3 hours and today he has woken at 5am.
We have days where it's nearer to 6 or sometimes between 6-7 but as a general rule it's 5:30.
My overall aim for sleep is 12-13 hours total in 24 hours and that works. I'm actually hoping when he no longer naps the nights improve 🤞🏻
My only advice with the newborn aswell will be to try and rest yourself as much as possible when both children are asleep. Sorry not much help.

Based on my DC I would just resign yourself to now waking up at 4:30 for the next 5 years.

@stressingmum and @Santastuckincustoms thanks for your replies! I think you're right and I just have to accept that it's the way it is. I wouldn't mind if he was a happy chappy when up but he is so grumpy and miserable when he wakes so early that it makes for looooong mornings unless we do things to keep him busy (which makes him more overtired). Sadly I can't nap him early as he now has two mornings at nursery and so I need him to get used to lunch at 12 and nap after lunch as he is such a routine little boy. We were doing early lunch at 11.30 and down just after 12 but sadly that won't work now with the nursery schedule. I also have to have the same routine each day as he is so particular about getting used to things happening at certain times! I would love 12-13 hours sleep in 24 hours but most days it's probably 11 which is not ideal. Hopefully one day he will realise how epic sleep is!

@hrp2020 it's so hard to get the right balance. My DS also goes to nursery 2 mornings a week but till 1pm so they do the nap and he has lunch with me at home after. But we do lunch after the nap anyway which is a bit unusual. I did speak with a sleep consultant when I was trying to change it and the only thing they suggested I could change was dinner time making it a bit later and trying to up his protein in take at dinner to ensure he wasn't waking up because he was hungry. I did all of this and no improvement in wake up time but everything is worth a try - I did say to my DP that when he is a teenager and sleeping in I'm going to wake him up at 5:30 every day as payback!