SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK PART 8 -- Pack the bags under your eyes and join us!

[RoRoMommy]

Well...I had to think of something! DH's suggestion "Eyes wide shut--the art of sleepwalking"

CM, god knows I would do anything to avoid DS crying

But at one point last night, when he had been screaming for two hours, then romping round the bed, then crying again, despite my every attempt to settle him in a gentle way, I just realised that this wasn't really any better than cc for him -- he was still spending half the night crying, only I didn't have any way to deal with it and it just seems to get worse every night

I know exactly what you are saying Meg. I found with DS1 the trick was getting him to self settle at the beginning of the night. I realise that I was very lucky and never had to do cc during the night when my defences were down. TBH I am a crap mum when I am sleep deprived so i am definitely thinking I have got to get DS2 sorted soon. I want a quality of life back. If you want to give cc a shot I would also recommend a book called 'It's time to sleep'. It was written by a mum who had a nightmare with her first daughter so she carries more credence in my book than a so called expect who has never had to listen to their own child cry.

Hey everyone, weekend has been rather taken up with ill people. DH has been in bed for three days and DD is ill, snotty, coughing and grizzly so it's off to the Dr for both of them tomorrow.

Meg, So sorry you're at the moment. You were doing so well. As the others have said, we also had some back peddling at that age. BUT, it did get better. We also night weaned at about 8.5-9 months and as I've mentioned before, it was easy for me because DD was happy to just cuddle. She did take water on occasions when night weaning. We also had a set back if you remember with our hospital visit shortly after night weaning so i reverted to feeding at night for a couple of weeks following the illness and then, when she was ready, started again. It was just as easy so I can only imagine she was ready for it. No miracle solution. Have you thought about getting DS his own bed like I've done with DD? That way you and DH can start the night together and then you (or DH) join
DS when he's woken. That way he's not expecting to get into your bed and you can creep away if you want when he's gone back to sleep. Although we still had the cot up we'd pretty much abandoned it by about 10 months in favour of the matress on the floor. Could be option 3.

CM, thanks for your lovely emails. You are an incredibly strong woman with a very sensible, rational and extremely maternal head on. All hail CM

Hope everyone else is having restful weekends and Amber is living it up in OZ.

Jingleoogs, I just don't know how you're managing to find the energy to type. You poor love. A friend of a friend had DT. One was a great sleeper the other a nightmare. They both had the same routines etc etc so it just goes to show that as parents we have no control over these babies sleeping habits keep coming in and sharing your woes. A sleepless night shared is sometimes the boost you need to get you through the day.

We have started a trial of CC tonight

In bed at 7.20
Left 2, 3, 4, 6, and 8 mins
Fell asleep at 7.50

This was never how I intended to night-parent DS but DH and I both feel like it's the right time to try, before I fall down the stairs again! Anyway will keep you all posted on how it goes tonight.

X-posted Ginger. I will be happy if we can get back to one or two wakings (even with a feed if necessary), just really felt we could not go on.

I do like the idea of a bed but he is so crawly and wriggly even when asleep that I think we would find him on the floor all the time!

I have put a bottle of water by the cot so will offer that if need be later in the night.

No problem Meg, I'm sure he'll respond and you'll all be sleeping soundly in a few days. Good luck

{{{{{{{{Meg}}}}}}}}

Sorry things have been rubbish on the sleep front. Will be thinking of you tonight and keeping my fingers crossed. Like you, we got to a point where DD was crying that much anyway that I didn't think CC could make things much worse.

I really hope this helps - I'll be watching to see how things go.

Thanks Baz & Ginger. I feel shitty but what can you do. I guess if it works then it will have been worth it.

Hallo

Can I join your sleep-deprived band?

DD aged one is not a marvellous sleeper - she slept through for a few glorious months, but teething and illness have lead to six months of hell. She wakes every 45 minutes or so and DH and I are going everso slightly mad. We both work full-time and lack of sleep is wreaking its havoc.

Hope things are getting better for you all. I'm going to make myself some dinner and open a beer before reading all your words of wisdom.

Thanks in advance.

Welcome oldestcat, I haven't got many minutes but what do you do when she wakes? Do you feed, co-sleep, anything else? We co-sleep with DD (15 months)but thankfully not every every 45 minutes. That must be torture. Do you give her any pain relief for her teeth? Questions questions!

Hi TOC and sorry that you find yourself here. I would def. recommend co-sleeping as a way to get more rest if she will settle in with you.

Baz a quick Q, can you remind me if you used CC for naps at the same time? ATM his naps aren't really a problem so I don't want to mess if I don't need to but not sure if it will confuse him if I settle him in a different way in the daytime.

Hi gingerninja. Thanks for replying. I wish others didn't have sleep problems, but it's nice to know you're not alone...

She hasn't wanted night feeds since she was three months and when I offer the breast she's not interested. So we've been rocking her back to sleep and eventually taking her into our bed, normally about 2 or 3 in the morning. I do like co-sleeping and it's easier to get her back to sleep when she wakes up in our bed. But I worry because DH is a heavy sleeper so I end up sleeping very lightly and feeling awful at work the next day.

I usually feed her to sleep (she's BF) and pop in the cot. But tonight I fed her and put her in awake and she nodded off while I sat next to the cot singing. It's a first!! DH is at work at the moment, but once he gets home we're not going to pick her up when she wakes (unless she's really distressed) and just try to comfort her in the cot.

Oh - we give her calpol if the teething pain is bad. Seems to help, but I worry about using it too much.

Hi Meg

Sorry to read about your sleep woes. Hope tonight works out for you.

OK, Oldest cat you've got a couple of (easy) options. If you're happy co-sleeping why don't you get a bed rail or pus the bed against the wall so you can sleep baby, mummy, daddy. Then you'll eliminte the worry of DH rolling on her. Other option is take the side off the cot and shove it up next to the bed like a side car. That way you get the benefit of co-sleeping but with a bit more space.

The less easy option but gentle approach is gradual retreat which you've kind of started tonight. The idea is that you slowly, over the course of time, move further away for the LO so they settle themselves. The theory being that if they do that to go to sleep then they'll not need you in the night. We had some limited sucess with this a few months ago but once she started standing had to abandon it as I just couldn't get her to lay down so now we lay with DD to get her to sleep. We've got her in a bed now but when she was in a cot we'd just lift her when she was asleep. With any approach to sleep training the key is consistency. GR will work eventually but it's a slower process than say CC.

Personally, I think you have to take an approach that works for your family and what ever that is just keep doing it because they will get it eventually. My DD likes the comfort of us being there at night and we're OK to go with that at the moment so co-sleep. (we're hoping that it will resolve itself in time) For us it's the least painful option as I'm not sure CC would even work for my DD even if I wanted to do it as any crying just escalates and escaltes with her.

Anyway, I really should be going as I'm totally knackered. I hope that's offered some help. The others may be along soon to offer some other advice.

Hey Meg .
We did CC for naps too, but ours were a bit dodgy, unlike yours. I think my logic was to take a strict, will-of-iron, purist approach, just for my own peace of mind. That way, if it didn't work, I'd know I'd done it "properly", and would be able to draw a line under the whole CC business.

But then again, I am a firm believer in "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"!

Oh, and to The Oldest Cat - this lot are such a lovely bunch! Wise, and caring. You are in good hands.

Sorry all - she woke up, but I managed to settle her back down in the cot.

gingerninja - thank you SO much. Not time to respond in full, but that is so helpful. I think we'll carry on with the gradual retreat for a while and see how we go. Also, the bed rail idea is a good one - will look into that. Hope your situation does resolve itself as you hope and I'm glad co-sleeping is working for you.

Hi Barryscott! You do all seem like lovely sorts, if slightly tired.... Thanks for having me.

Right - off to get some food and try to get some kip before madam wakes up again.

night - hope it's a good one for us all.

Awww Ginger you've made me blush .
I hope that everyone starts feeling better in your house soon. Do you remember the days you could curl up on the sofa in your duvet watching Richard and Judy on This Morning, enjoying a day off work when you were ill? Big downside of motherhood I think is no statutory sick leave.

Hello Baz. .

Meg I really hope that you have a better night. You have been through a lot recently with your LO it is bound to take its toll on you. CC is really hard, but if it works it is at least brief and your LO won't remember it at all. I used cc with DS1 when he was 11 months and today he told me that I am his favourite mummy (mind you does he have other mummies that I don't know about ) I think that each person has to choose what will work in their family and that no way is the right way. You can only do your best. You're a fantastic mum and your LO is lucky to have a mummy who is so dedicated to exploring the best way for the whole family to operate. I guess what I am trying to say is you are supported and I am thinking of you.

TOC as usual Ginger has posted her excellent words of wisdom (I needed to return the compliment Ginger ). I hope that you find a solution that works for you.

I feel quite positive an upbeat today. DS2 seems to be happier in the day. There is still alot of crying, but at least it's now intersperced with moments of happiness.

good morning all,
hi Baz and TOC.

Sorry to have read about your bad nights SAturday night was great for me, i slept from 1am to 9am! my longest stretch in a long time, but then both DF and I went out and were a bit pissed! lol the kids were with my DM+F was a lovely night, but both of us with hangovers then had to go to Bluewater and Lakeside for the kids xmas pressies not the best idea!

LAst night was really good aswell though. Drove back from mums at about 6:30, ds2 fell asleep and then went straight into bed at 7:30, i didn't hear a peep out of him till 5:30 yay! his first sleep through! DS1 is a different matter altogether though. he wouldn't fall asleep in the car, kept talking to me, went to bed at 7:30 but didn't go to sleep til 8:30 then up at 3, 4 and finally 7. not sure what his problem is atm he really used to be a fab sleeper we just had early mornings. In hind sight it has been rather usettling for him what with mine and DF problems and then gonig to my sisters and then off to my mums, i can but hope that he'll get better and LO will stay at this fab level of sleep. I do know that it takes 24huors for alcohol to leave your milk so he must've got some yesterday evening when we picked the DC up! that's the answer then....drink, drink, drink! Now i sound like a bad mum

anyways hope you all had better nights

Morning all and Beal for DS2's sleep-through. Hope DS1 settles down for you soon.

Well, our night in summary went like this:

In bed 7.20
Settled 7.50
Woke 10.30
Settled 11.20 (again after leaving max. 10 mins between visits)
Woke 6.30 for the day

morning

i know youve already gone amber, but just wanted to wish you a safe journey

hi tam great to 'see' you. i miss you lovely yay for your lovely weekend

meggy - only started nightweaning a coupla weeks ago. i'm a bit of a wimp how did last night go?......oops, just read on, i see it went well. am very pleased for you my lovely. youre doing a great job and are a fantastic mummy (((hugs)))

EP for ds's 8pm bedtime. i hope he repeated it last night your day sounded lovely

welcome to jingle and oldestcat

hi charlie, roro and ginger

hi ibs lovely to 'see' you too!!

beal for your booze up, but or the hangover!! yay ds2!!!

i'm sorry i havent written much to everyone, i have dd wriggling on my lap!!

we've had 2 more sleepthrus she still insists on waking at 5.30-6am, but i've been sliding her over for a cuddle til 7ish yay!!!

Meg, that sounds like a really positive start . How're y'all feeling?

Brilliant news Meg. I hope it continues to get easier and easier. Be prepared for a step back about night 3, but if you stick to your guns it should be plain sailing after that [sending positive vibes emoticon]

Welcome back Beal for DS2 for DS1.

DS1 has gone to school i had to wake him at 7.30. DD is still in bed!!
DS2 however, was a nightmare last night!!

I'm not ignoring you all I got x-posted!!

meg i just noticed your Q to ibs re. the naps. dd is settled to sleep by boob/pushchair (if we're out) for naps, but lays down in her cot awake at night time. i wouldnt worry about 2 different ways. as ibs said, 'if it aint broke...'

hey ibs

hi charlie for dd and ds1, but for ds2. hope you manage to get some rest today. remember our mantra....'it's just a phase' (((hugs)))