Night weaning

[Laur89]

@FATEdestiny are you there? Just wondering if you could give me some advice on night weaning please... my DS is almost 6.5 months now and for a couple of nights has gone from 7-4/5 without a night feed, and last night he went the whole 12 without a feed but he did wake up a few times to be settled. My question is do I just stop all night feeds from now on knowing that he can manage without it? Or just play it night by night and see? I know he's still quite young but my oldest DS had stopped them at 7 months too! Thank you @FATEdestiny , I value all your advice and the answers you post on here 😆

My question is do I just stop all night feeds from now on knowing that he can manage without it?

Yes, I would.

You don't need to think of it as "the world will end if I give a night feed", but don't have milk as a regular go-to for regular night wake ups.

Keep in mind that calorific need will continually go up. But calories actually taken in with solids may vary. Baby needs to be able to make up fluctuating calorific need by having milk. So be flexible with your daytime milk feeds - always aiming yo give more milk, more frequently than it is needed. So that there is always an over supply of calories avaliable to baby through the day.

The danger of me suggesting to stop night feeds, is that some families are much more rigid with daytime feeds (for example, "he has feeds at 7am 11am 3pm and 7pm since these are when it fits our routine"). And so you can end up with a baby not having any chance to catch up on calorie deficits.

Night feeds post 6 months (in fact post 4 months imo) are either primarily for comfort not calories, or the purpose is to allow for catch up from missed daytime calories. So as long as baby is given ample avalibility to get all the calories they need between 7am-7pm, then no calories are needed at night.

Back to my first paragraph - you may occasionally get the odd night where absolutely nothing will settle baby at night and that might be because, for whatever reason, baby didn't get enough calories/fluids in the daytime and so cannot settle because of hunger. You don't need to refuse to feed a hungry baby, the world won't end if you do as a one-off. But use that one-off as a way to inform your routine going forward - that more calories / fluids needed in the daytime going forward. There is absolutely no need to expect night feeds on a normal night any more though.

Thank you @FATEdestiny ! He did another 12 hours with no feed, so definitely don't think he needs it overnight now. I'm offering him loads of breastfeeds during the day to make up for it, he feeds on demand! Thank you for your advice! He's now getting a decent amount of day naps, but he still is waking a few times because maybe his dummy is out or something, any other tips or advice on why this might be happening @FATEdestiny?

It's developmental, just give it time.

Stopping night feeds is the first step to sleeping through, not the whole thing. Your DS will first need time to establish it.

Then keep any resettles as short and minimal as possible. Ideally notice as baby goes from deep sleep into light sleep but before fully waking up (So starts fussing but minimal - groaning, shuffling around, before fully crying) and be quick with a dummy reinsert and/or hand on chest to settle, without disturbing baby enough to wake fully. The more baby practices this, the more they can do it without help.

Thank you @FATEdestiny . We've had a few nights of him waking about 4/5 times, but he's settled easilyish without milk. How long does it normally take for him to establish not having night feeds and being used to it? He did however manage only 2 wake ups last night!!
Wondering if you could advice on day nap timings please? I'm struggling to fit all 3 in but not sure he would manage on 2! So he wakes at 6, then will nap around 8.30 for about an hour. Then he will nap again around 12/12.30 for about 1.5 hours, then I struggle to get the next nap in, I try and put him down at 4 (for 30 mins as advised by another sleep consultant, who said not to let him nap past 4.30). But I don't find he's that tired by 4 after only been awake 2 hours. My question is, is there a way around this or do I move the morning nap a bit later the the afternoon one a bit later also, to cut down to just 2 naps? He 6.5 months now! Thank you @FATEdestiny :)

It sounds like you're in the transition from 3 naps to 2. If you have had a good night and so you think baby will manage, push morning nap later and aim for a 2-nap day. But if you have a not-good night then accept it will be a 3-nap day. The transition may take a few weeks.

For 3-nap days, third nap is always hard work (It is for everyone). Having a late afternoon pushchair walk or drive may help with this nap.

You may have to be flexible with bedtime through the transition. So on days of 2 naps an earlier than normal bed time might be needed. Then on days of 3-naps don't be afraid of later bedtimes, which puts you under less pressure to wake at 4.30pm. With my own youngest I regularly did third nap 5pm-6pm because that worked for me (it was when I cooked and we ate the family meal) and so pushed bedtime to 8.30pm ish to allow for this.

As for sleeping through without any wake ups, you need to check your expectations there. It could be months away, and sleep progression will not be linear any way. To expect it within a week is very unreasonable. Weaning is only the first step to sleeping through (as in baby cannot possibly sleep through until night weaned), not the whole journey.

Hey @FATEdestiny , I just wanted to say thank you so much for all your advice with my DS, and all your advice on the sleep threads, I always look out for your comments and it has been so helpful! My DS who was waking every hour or less throughout the whole night can now sleep from 7-3 or 4 which is huge progress, however from 4-6 it's still a bit tricky and he wakes a few times. Have you got any advice on how to help this please? He hasn't had a night feed for nearly a month now. Thank you!

Early morning is when the pressure to sleep is lowest, so if you get a wake up after about 4am it's always harder to resettle for this reason. Remember earlier I talked about the third nap of the day always being hard? That's the same reason, baby's natural body clock is giving the least amount of pressure to go to sleep at this time.

So for the third nap, I advised a nap on the move (pushchair/car), you need to think in a similar way for early morning wakes. Accept that it will be harder to get baby back to sleep and so offer extra help. No point just doing your normal (say, dummy reinsert and hand on chest, or whatever you do), it will need extra.

Lots of families get baby back to sleep in early mornings by bringing baby into their bed and cuddling/cosleeping back to sleep. Or just accept that significantly more work/help needed to get back to sleep.

Obviously the ideal is no wake up at all in the early morning, so these suggestions are ways to deal with a wake when it happens. Simultaneously work on ways to reduce the wake up at all, which then resolves the issue.

Is it hunger/thirst? Strategically choosing to reintroduce an feed when you go to bed may help this, while daytime calories catch up.

A Wake-Reset at 11pm ish might help, even without a feed. The idea is to wake baby when you go to bed. Do a clean nappy (and feed, but fully awake feed, if you're doing one). So that it's like resetting bedtime, but a few hours later. Clean nappy means that by early morning baby is more comfortable without a very full nappy. Aim to keep baby as awake as possible during this wake up, then resettle back to sleep to reset the night.

Daytime sleep routine often affects nights. If baby is overtired (or indeed undertired) then early mornings are the most likely time to wake because it's when sleep is lightest. It might be that you need to tweek your daytime sleep routine.

Method of going to sleep will also make baby more likely to wake when in a light sleep. Consistently going to sleep where he stays asleep, with minimal movement where possible. This will help baby stay in the light sleep phase of early mornings, rather than waking up.

Is it environmental? Light bleeding in from around the blind, noise from the heating/home, outdoor sounds from an open window, too hot/cold by the early morning.

Has baby had enough night sleep? If everything possible just cannot get baby back to sleep, it might be that shifting bedtime later is what is needed and accepting that, for now (it will change again), baby needs less nighttime sleep