A great sleeper turned BAD! How to kick feeding to sleep through the night... help please!

[Ab31]

Hello!
My 12 month DD was a brilliant sleeper from the word go until 10 months. She' suddenly started waking 4 or 5 times a night. The triggers were her top teeth coming through which has stopped her sucking her thumb and crucially DH going to work abroad for a couple of months. While he was gone I got into the habit of B/Feeding her back to sleep everytime for the sake of trying to get some sleep myself. Now DH came back on Sunday and surprise, surprise she wont hlet him settle her at all as she now needs boob. Arrrggghhh. Causing stress gallore! I feel guilty, he feels inadaquate and nightime is no longer relaxing. I wanted to stop b/f after her birthday (next week) but here I am with her needing it more than ever. How do I get her off the boob at night? Do we just go cold turkey and not do it whatever - even if it means a week of no sleep? Or if I go with it, will she stop naturally? It's the only way at the moment to get her back to sleep and it's so annoying as she never used to wake up at night at all so it's never been an issue before.
Also does anyone have experience of thumb suckers losing then finding it again? I\m sure that would help as she wont take a dummy....
Help!
x

Same thing happened to us. Afraid to sat that DS 17 months has started waking again in night after getting into routine himself. lAst nihgt I just gave him a bottle so I could get some sleep.
I stopped bf just after DS birthday and it was surprisingly easy. But, luckily my DH dealt with him at night incase he wanted boob. Then he was ill and we gave him bottles at night. Wish I'd stopped doing this as soon as he was better as he seems reliant on it now. It's tough, you have my sympathy.

Trouble is Wowoo, when DH tries to settle her at night she just screams and he ends up dumping her on me in frustration.I'm wondering how long it will take if I stop b/f all together before she stops screaming for it at night. Anyone???
In the day I think I can go through with it but in the middle of the night my resolve crumbles....

We've just had this!! DD (11mo) was ill and was feeding every 2-3 hours day and night as she wasn't taking an inch of solids. As soon as she was better, I continued for another few days to get us to the friday night (so it wasn't a work day next day) and by then she'd dropped down to two wake ups (but only the boob would suffice) and then we went cold turkey! All sorted in 3 nights and she's now back to sleeping through - til the next time of course!!

So there is hope????? That's great to hear. When you went cold turkey, did she scream for long? Trouble is with us, she's eating solids as normal so it's not hunger but just comfort. And did you or your DP settle her? And how? Did you pick her up or leave her? Sorry to ask so many questions... am at my wits end after another night of 3 hours sleep...

hi ab31, my ds is 12 mo and we have had a similar thing going on, has have some of my friends with babies the same age..hmm..
the last couple of nights we have been more hardline than before, haven't fed him at night for ages (apart from when ill) but every time he has shouted for more than 5 mins we have gone in and laid him back down (he is always standing up), given him his dummy if he wanted it and walked away. One night i did this about 20 times, but last night it was only twice - much better and he went back to sleep straight away. Think he is learning that nothing interesting is going to happen when we come in now!
Regarding your dd not taking a dummy - that is a really good thing! We would like to take it away from our ds soon, and we are not sure if has been causing the night waking - its just another confusing variable (see my thread about taking a dummy away from a 12mo!). All the best and keep posting, it is reassuring (although not fun for you!) to know there is someone else out there awake to...

It's very difficult isn't it and SO stressful and knackering!! It's fab news that you know it's not hunger becuase that rules out any temptation to feed! You need to remove all night feedings at once if you're going to, otherwise they have absoltuely no way of knowing which wake ups they get fed for and which ones they don't. When the first wake up and cry, we just leave it for a couple of mins to make sure that she's not going to resettle herself and that it's a bit more serious, then we always go in and check her (incase ill, wedged at top of cot, wrong temperature etc) and then once satisfied that all is ok, we just hold her hand or stroke her head or side (whichever floats your little one's boat!) and whisper night night it's time to sleep or whatever phrases you use when you put them to bed for the night etc (I'm pretty sure she understands or at least it gives her a chance of understanding!) and then leave the room. It's usually DP that does this the first time as he doesn't have the boob and then we alternate because DD is more a mummy's girl and sometimes gets in a panic that I'm not there. Otherwise, I would just let DH do it. At this point she will probably kick off a merry stink. We would leave her for 5 mins and then go in and reassure again BUT DO NOT PICK THEM UP and again leave the room. Repeat until they fall asleep. The cries will eventually change from furiously angry to more intermittent, in which case leave her to see if they become more intermitten and she's settling herself off to sleep. I think the first night it took an hour and a half or something. As usual, it diminishes over the next few nights until they just don't bother waking. You need to be absolutely fixed in your resolve because otherwise they get confused. You're not being cruel - they really need the full night's sleep as much as you do!!!

We went through a similar thing with ds2 at about 9 months. He was never a good sleeper, but was awake all night feeding for comfort and I was getting practically no sleep. We went cold turkey on the night feeds and agreed that I wouldn't feed him if he woke before 4 (not completely arbitrary - it was because we figured that he'd probably wake ds1 after that and then we'd be unable to get ds1 back to sleep). It all went surprisingly easily and took 2 fairly unsettled nights. A few weeks later he now goes through till 5-5.30 almost every night. The way we dealt with it was to go in and stroke him when he woke but not pick him up.

Trouble is, ds1 now wakes up at 5-5.30 too and refuses point blank to go back to sleep, so we now have ds2 snoozing till about 7 after his feed and we have to get up with ds1 instead. If it ain't one thing, it's another.

My lo is the same - 9 months, feeding through the night. We would love to stop it. He gets VERY upset when we try to withold the breast at night. I mean vomiting, etc.... Midnightexpress and Putthatinyourpipe, are your babies fairly easy-going, or quite demanding?

Hi PhDiva, I would say that DD is towards the demanding end of the scale - she screams until she chokes and it does sound totally hysterical. It's almost so theatrical that it's laughable (but not if you see what I mean!).

I do think that on the other hand - 9 months is still 'quite young' and that he may genuinely still need the feeds? If he's not ready to give them up and he's genuinely hungry, then it's going to be very difficult and stressful for all parties. I do think you'll 'know' if it is genuine hunger and it may be that he's capable of sleeping through but would then need a feed at 5 ish or something. When we first did this at 9 months I think it was, we did start with feeds at 10:30ish, 1:30ish and then 4:30ish and ended up with just one wake up at 5ish and then she slept again until 7:15am. Then, when she seemed to wake out of habit and not take too much milk, we CC'd that feed too.

OK, well that's helpful. Maybe then I should 'agree' to feed him at certain times, and not at others? Are babies ever ready to give up their night-time feeding naturally? That's kinda what I'm hoping. What do they do in Africa, India, etc....? I can't believe they let them cc.

well careful because he will get confused. Is he feeding fully at each wake up?

Hi again. Erm, not easy-going exactly, no . He was quite colicky as a small baby and is still very demanding in terms of being held and picked up (not that I have a problem with that). I know what you mean about cc in other cultures, but we were co-sleeping and I'm sure that he was doing it for comfort, not hunger (and the fact that he will now go 9 hours at a stretch suggests that I was right, I think). I think the fact that I was right next to him with my boob was just nice for him, but he suckled just enough to keep me awake, so we really had to do something, for my sanity if noting else. He went back into his cot when we night-weaned him and seems to be quite content.

No - he only feeds once or twice a night, the rest is just 'muffing', as I call it. We co-sleep too, and he definitely uses it for comfort, so I know what you mean, midnightexpress, about him suckling just enough to keep me awake. Did you go cold turkey with him in your bed, or did you suddenly switch to him being in his cot with no breast before 4?

It's great to know that this is happening to other people! It seems that all my friends with babies of the same age have all settled into a brilliant sleeping pattern. One gloated today about her baby sleeping 13 hours last night... grrrr.

An added complication for us with any kind of CC is that we're in a one bed flat so are all in together until we move next spring. It's never been an issue for her before and it hasn't made a difference to her wakings when we stay with family where she has her own room but it's certainly adding to the stress!

Hi - Just read through this whole thread and do not feel comforted! DD is 7.5 mo and a couple of weeks ago slept through for the first time 4 nights in a row without intervention from us, then top 2 teeth started coming and now wakes all the time and wants feeding. Has also stopped sucking her thumb so she cannot settle herself. Tried not feeding her one night and after 1.5 hours screaming gave in and fed her, problem is she probably is hungry even though she can go through, simply because at the moment she is not eating much. Am going back to work in Jan and no idea how to get her to sleep through or stop breastfeeding!

Hi, also just read whole thread and can really sympathise at the moment ! Ds is 6 mo and was waking sometimes every hour to be fed - was completely shattered as I have two other LO's to look after - put him in his own room last week and there has been an immediate imporovement.
He is still waking - I feed him around 10 ish, because if not he will wake up at 12 anyway - he then wakes a lot around 2- 3 am, but I am now refusing to feed him, and we have just been picking him up to check he doesn't need a burp (he does constant huge man burps and I think they do wake him up), then putting him back down. It takes about an hour for him to go to sleep this way. Also used to suck thumb to fall asleep and now no longer does it. Won't take dummy, except to play with it !
He will then sleep through til around 5 am and I will feed him again, then put him down again, until we all get up at 7 am.
The thing is, he barely sleeps in the day, maybe an hour max which seems nowhere near enough for that age ! I try putting him down for naps, but he won't have it.

Chankins, ds3 is like this. He has never slept well during the day even when i know he's exhausted.
he wants to suckle on and off all day, you know that have a few good slurps, pull off, take half your nipple off routine. Then i think he doesn't want it so sit him up, then he throws himself back towards boob, mouth open like a goldfish.
I put him back on he has a few sucks then off again.

He has occasionally slept through but mostly he wakes at 4.30 am and feeds for a good hour, so I guess he must be actually hungry, then he suckles on and off until I have to get up at 6.30.

he starts off the night in his own room but I bring him into my bed as I'm just too shattered to sit and feed him. I'm also aware that if I leave him to scream he will wake up all the other children.

I don't know what to do as I've not had any of my other babies do this

he's 6 months btw and has no teeth

Ah bless you - my other kids did not do this either ! They were ff at this age though, and weaned at 4 mo - and from that point they both slept through unless ill.
Ds is loving his solids, eats loads, eats anything we offer, and has bf and ff feeds, so I don't reckon he can be that hungry !
But everyt ime we have little sleep in day, I think he must sleep better tonight, he just must ! But never does. Am actually wondering whether I should ask HV about the lack of sleep.
My other two were not huge sleepers in day, but did a least have 2 long naps at this age ! Funnily enough, the only place he will drop off without a fuss now is in the buggy while out - but not long ago I posted on here askin for advice because he hated the buggy and screamed in it constantly !
Guess I'll be walking the streets in the rain every time I want him to nap !
LOL - mine has no teeth yet either

The baby before him, who's now 22 months sleeps like Rip Van Winkle .
She's large though, ds3 is a skinny string bean of a baby.
I reckon if I fed him next to his cot and put him down again it would be better , then he wouldn't be suckling for 2 hours

Thats what I'm doing since he moved into his own room last week - when I bf I go into the room and sit on his toy chest to do it. Not the most comfortable position I could be in, but its much quicker to get him straight back into cot, plus I hope it helps him realise its his bedroom, and for sleeping, if you know what I mean ! Its hard when the first ones were really good, cos you kind of expect next one to be the same don't you ? But ds is so different to my dds !

123ken isn't the thumb thing annoying? She sucked her thumb so much and settled herself so well that I never bothered with dummies or cuddly bed toys/blankets etc. Now she can't settle herself and has nothing. I keep putting yoghurt on the thumb in the day to remind her! Not working needless to say!

I should have mentioned about rooms, yes. DS2 now sleeping in splendid isolation in our bedroom, while dp and I are squished into a v small sofa bed until he wakes up, when I go in and feed him and then sneak a couple of hours in the big bed. We are now plotting how to regain our lost territory . Trouble is, he needs to go in with ds1 as we only have 2 bedrooms, and we're worried about ruining ds1's sleep too. But think it's probably a case of just going for it and seeing what happens. We can always move him back out again I guess. But I do think it's easier if you're in a different room, tbh.

And re cot, we had taken the side off it and used it like a bedside cot for a while, but put the side back on as he was getting much more mobile anyway when we did the cold turkey.

There might be light at the end of the tunnel for the ex-thumb-suckers. DS also used to happily suck his until teething, cold, etc... and gave up. Miraculously, he has spontaneously started again now after a couple of months break. It hasn't yet translated into putting himself back to sleep, but it might - it just might.

Had another really bad night again made worse by me deciding to go on nipple-strike at around 4 am, as I hadn't gotten ANY sleep by then due to DS snuffling around to feed everytime I got close to drifting off. Of course DS predictabley freaked out, and after half an hour of DH walking him was wide awake and ready to rumble. HO hum, so its back to doing what I am told by a 10 month old tonight