Getting a co-sleeping 4yo into his own bed

[BobBobBobbin]

My 4yo is very dependent on co-sleeping with me and I’d really like to get him back to sleeping in his own bed.

18months ago my then 3yo used to be put to sleep in his own bed, given a goodnight kiss and would sleep through.

For reasons unconnected to his sleep he’s ended up having to share a bed with me, and he’s now incredibly dependent on me as a ‘sleep prop’ - he has to snuggle really close to me to go to sleep and if he wakes up in the night and he’s not next to me he gets upset.

I’m worried that the longer we leave it like this the harder it’s going to be to change, but I’ve no idea how to change it.

Help?!

The gentle way to do this would be to start off teaching him to sleep independently within the bed. So snuggle up to him to calm him down if ever he is agitated, but then roll to face away from him when calm. The aim is that you both sleep in the same bed, but separately.

On from that, having his bed next to your bed in your room. So he gets used to sleeping on a seperate surface but with you still there with him.

Next stage is move his bed yo his own room, but you sitting with him as he goes yo sleep. Then gradually moving further away until you're not needed at all.

Thanks for the advice!

I assumed that co-sleeping was (even if a bit exasperating for me) good for them but I’m been reading some things that suggest co-sleeping is associated with poorer sleep quality, poorer mental health etc in older children and that teaching them to sleep on their own is ultimately better for them.

I don’t know how true that is, but has made me more concerned that this is something I need to ‘fix’