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Sleep

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Original poster

Cosleep, and still terrible sleep - what else can we do?

13 replies

mumarooni · 05/05/2021 13:25

I see lots of threads that say if you are really struggling with sleep, cosleeping gets everybody more rest. That makes sense to me.

We have been cosleeping from the beginning (well, he goes down in his cot fine at 7pm but then comes in with us from 10pm ish and wakes so so so many times through the night).

He is 16 months, and now only has one feed (BF) at 4.30/5 am, but the other wakings he fusses about, whinges, seems as though he can't get comfortable, sometimes climbs onto us for a rock, but struggles to get back to sleep. Sometimes we try calpol in case it is teeth. Often a drink of water will help a little, but he still wakes again soon after. Can be up for example at 10, 12, 1.30, 2.30 and 4.30. for 10-20 mins each time. Wakes for the day at 6.30-7.

Jolly little elf all day.

1 to 2 hour nap in the day.

Any ideas what else we can do? Not so much worried about getting him in his own cot, we like cosleeping as long as it is best for him. Equally would be fine with him going into his own if that would help - but don't want to do anything that requires less sleep at the moment!

We all really really need more sleep. (we take it in turns to sleep with him).

OP posts:

boringcreation · 05/05/2021 13:27

More sleep during the day. I know it sounds wrong, but if they don't get enough sleep in the day they wake a lot at night. I think at that age they're supposed to get 14 ish hours per day

zaffa · 05/05/2021 13:30

Could it be wind / need to poop? DD mostly sleeps through (co sleep) but we do have nights where she wakes up for up to two hours, and tosses around. Sometimes it's because she needs to poop (she's had some tummy troubles lately) sometimes she wants a bottle and sometimes she needs to toss about for an hour and kick me in the chin before she wants a bottle 😳. I don't really have any solutions because I usually wait it out but only because it's not that frequent (maybe one waking once a week on average) but your situation sounds much harder.
Do you have a sleep aid? If the gro Penguin batteries die she can't get back to sleep well so it does make a big difference for us

zaffa · 05/05/2021 13:32

Oh and teeth do make it much worse! WDD is 17 months and has most of her teeth but teething caused such misery day and night but especially at night. I found the ibuprofen version of calpol better for night time

allofthecheese · 05/05/2021 13:48

I'm pleased you asked as we have this exact same issue. So I'm here to see the responses! Mine is 1yo and we cosleep too and I just feel like the 'co-sleep and you'll have more sleep' is just a myth for us.

FATEdestiny · 05/05/2021 15:50

How do you get him to sleep at bedtime and naptime?

boringcreation · 05/05/2021 15:55

Also who is saying co-sleeping gives more sleep? We've never co-slept and he sleeps through the night. Where-as anyone I know co-sleeping has an awful nights sleep and the child is up numerous times a night.

tenlittlecygnets · 05/05/2021 15:55

Sounds like nobody is getting any sleep! I'd put him in his cot to sleep and stop giving milk at night. He doesn't need it.

Original poster

mumarooni · 05/05/2021 15:57

Thanks for the input everyone

We get him to sleep at night with bath, story, boob and then swop to the other mumma (2 mumma house, I am the non boob mumma!) And I switch light out, lie down and he lies down next to me and gets super drowsy then I lift him into sidecar cot and he wiggles a bit and then goes to sleep quite quickly. Naps, often ends up in car (due to busy life, a 3yo and chores to do!). But can also be rocked to sleep in dark room then put down, or can sleep in pram in dark room (this is how he naps at childminders 2 days a week).

OP posts:

tenlittlecygnets · 05/05/2021 19:46

Sounds like you need to do sleep training, so he learns how to fall asleep by himself. It's a good life lesson.

Original poster

mumarooni · 05/05/2021 20:16

zaffa, we did think it was tummy or teeth, as some of his worst bursts of sleep have definitely been when teeth coming through and also before we twigged that he has CMP allergy (he also used to have quite persistent diarrhea) . but not been off dairy for quite a while, poos are normal, sleep still not.

tenlittlecygnets, when you say sleep training, what exactly do you have in mind? My worry is that this might be a good idea if he was actually sleeping well with comfort, to get him sleeping well without it, but if he can't sleep even with us there, aren't we all just going to get a whole lot less sleep if we make it even harder?

He does often try to 'self settle' in bed, trying to get comfy, wiggling about, but sometimes seems quite distraught for no clear reason. We keep wondering if something is hurting him, he often pulls at his feet? But he seems so lovely and jolly all day, it is confusing

OP posts:

zaffa · 05/05/2021 21:13

@mumarooni

@mumarooni interestingly DD also has CMPA which was diagnosed late and it caused so much night time wriggling and such like. I think it's one of the reasons we co sleep now, I felt a lot of guilt at not pushing for investigation sooner and instead she had colief in all her milk until she was seven ish months old which only Gave her some relief. She used to have so much wind. Have you tried weaning on to a different milk? We've been trying to move onto soya to substitute cows milk, and noticed some real night time troubles again. Also she gets really unsettled if she needs to burp (she does this herself, no more burping after bottles etc but she does sometimes still have them building up) Personally I wouldn't go for sleep training because it sounds like (as you've said) your little one is struggling to settle with someone there to comfort them - it sounds like there is something bothering them - and I don't know how any sort of method could help with that. Like it's not that they need to learn to self settle, they can't settle at all even with help. How long has it been happening for? Last week nursery sent out a notice about thread worm and one of the symptoms is apparently restlessness at night time (I was very alarmed at this but no evidence of worms thankfully 😂)

Allthegranola · 06/05/2021 06:55

Is it possible that you are all disturbing each other when you are co-sleeping? My oldest was such a light sleeper that she woke every time I rolled over and then wanted milk/to play/stick her fingers up my nose etc.

She actually slept for longer periods once she was in her own room. We had to teach her to really self settle though and stop feeding to sleep.

Original poster

mumarooni · 08/05/2021 22:21

Zaffa, that's interesting re your little ones cmpa too. I dont think its threadworms in this case (thank goodness, tho I guess that is easily fixed!)
We have been having a slightly better night last two nights, could be fluke. We are gently trying two possibly related things: 1. feeding him as much as possible in the day, he is quite a lithe little thing and very busy, easily distracted away from food. We wondered if he was sometimes hungry overnight. So we have been offering lots of food regularly and lots of milk (he is bf and has cashew or oat milk too, he doesnt like the soya growing up one). 2 settling him into his sidecar cot a b it earlier into his falling asleep routine, and resetting him in there rather than straight into the big bed at least until midnight. This hasn't been too hard on anyone, he can still have a cuddle in his cot and I can easily reach him to pat, so only needed a bit of persistence to get him happier staying in there more, and sleep has been marginally better (shorter wake ups, less crying/whining/squirming). So fingers crossed feed feed feed and giving him the opportunity to settle to sleep a little less on top of a mummy might help him sleep longer...will report back. May try just gently shifting the time when he comes.into bed back a little at a time (that is how we night weaned, (no fees before 12, then 1, then 2 etc...) and it worked pretty well for us all I think.

OP posts:

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