11 month old wants to sleep in my bed

[SaraJS216]

DD who is almost 11 months has been an ok sleeper generally, but the past few weeks she wakes in the night crying (after being put down with no issues), and only settles if I take her out the cot and rock her or put her in bed with me.

I've tried to wait it out with the crying and comfort her while she's still in her cot but it just continues until I get her out. Obviously there's only so much standing and rocking/attempting to put her back down that I can do before I eventually cave in and take her in to my bed!

She eats and naps well during the day and I'm pretty sure it's not due to feeling unwell or hungry considering she falls straight back to sleep when I'm holding her or put her in bed with me. She isn't showing any major signs of separation anxiety in the day time but it seems as though it's most likely related to this?

Has anyone else experienced similar around this age?

I think the key is to not cave in. You have to be consistent. It's the same with in-cot settling.

Do you use a dummy?

One thing that is a necessary realisation is that when used well a dummy will stop almost all crying at sleep time (It's impossible to cry while simultaneously sucking), without a dummy will mean that teaching independent sleep involves crying. Probably a lot of crying.

So if you use a dummy, some work on active sucking may help.

If you don't use a dummy then the first step to coping here is accepting that there will be a lot of crying to teach baby to sleep independently. So giving in (caving in) because there is too much crying is not helping anyone. Either

• decide not to go for independant sleep and just cosleep so everyone gets more sleep. Or
• decide you want baby sleeping in the cot, do the comforting in the cot so she goes to sleep in there. Accept this will involve (a lot of) crying and don't be put off continuing because of the crying.

Don’t see it as caving in, see it as you choosing to co-sleep if that’s what you want to do and do it safely. As adults we share a bed for connection with someone, why would a baby not want that?