Is my 8 week old unlearning good sleep habits?

[chipperchick]

DD is 8 weeks, and up until a week ago was sleeping well at night. She would settle quickly at about 11.30/12 after 10.30pm feed,then would sometimes grumble at 3.30am but would not wake until 5/6am. She was often unsettled during daytime naps and early evening, so we started using a dummy to help her get to sleep. She also can be quite windy - seems to be worse recently. She has now started waking at 3.30/4am every night, and is difficult to settle after this, and also after 10.30pm feed. Not sure if reliance on dummy is causing problems, or wind (can it wake them hours after feed?), or whether by feeding her or going to her too quickly when she wakes early has 'unlearnt' her ability to go through night?

Please help! Last night only had 4 hours sleep and feel like every night is getting worse rather than better - isn't it meant to be the reverse at this age?

What can I try? Midwife recommend cooled boiled water to settle when wakes early, but feel uneasy with this. Should I take dummy away? Should I not feed her when she wakes earlier, as I know she can make it to 5/6am?

I would say (no expert btw, just recent experience) growth spurt? Wind def a possibility. She's doing well to sleep 6 hours you know, waking at 3/4 sounds much more like the norm (sorry!). Don't think she's really old enough to learn or unlearn habits, think she's probably waking due to a genuine need eitherv wind/hunger/general discomfort. I would try a feed and try not to worry about teaching bad habits.

It could be the 6 week growth spurt. It sounds like she's sleeping well imo.

I fed ds whenever he woke up, and certianly would never refuse to feed a baby.

I also wouldn't give water, especially if you are breastfeeding. Night feeds are essential to building your supply. Also, if she's hungry water will not satisfy her. Would it make you sleep if you woke up in the night a bit peckish?!

Just roll with it, it will all change again in a couple of weeks! Put your energy into going with it and seeing to your dd's needs rather than stressing if it's this or that. You'll find you'll both be happier for it.

hey chipper - i posted to your question on my thread in bfeeding.

i would def say growth spurt..she is only little anyway! It will get better.. i think

Thanks cheriton - hope it will get better, feels like getting worse every day! Not sure if growth spurt - doesn't seem to be feeding more during the day. And has been going on for a week.

She's becoming more and more unsettled. Never sleeps more than 30/45 mins at a time in day or evening. And is taking ages to settle - cries as soon as head hits the cot, and only gets to sleep with dummy and lots of assistance. Worried I'm creating a sleep monster!

Chubby and MoveIt have a good point about I need stopping stressing and going with flow, but I find it difficult when I think she's developing bad sleep associations which are not going away...

Chipper, 8 weeks is sooooo tiny. I really don't believe that babies can get bad habits at this age. It is classic growth spurt time, the reason they tend to feed more at night is because your milk supply is better then (thanks, Mother Nature ).

Her habits sound totally normal at this stage, I would keep feeding, you might find co-sleeping enables you to get much more sleep as you won't have to get up (if she is bf).

Many babies do not sleep through the night til a year or more, they just aren't biologically programmed to, it is tough though so try to get your DH to help and put your feet up in the day if you can. If she is hard to settle in the cot during the day, she might nap better in a sling?

Thanks Meg. She used to like the sling but I think is bit squashed in it now she's bigger.

Is it normal to 'regress' like this though?

I stopped swaddling her recently, so maybe it's worth retrying that, but her arms are so active now, not sure if will annoy her.

I might try expressing so DH can do 10.30pm feed so I can get more sleep. Should I express just before - like 9.30pm? What happens if she doesn't take the bottle as I then won't have much milk left?

There may be other types of slings that will be more comfy for her, I'm not an expert, you could ask Bealcain who's a regular on the Sleep Is For The Weak thread and seems to have about a million of 'em.

You might find a grobag gives her a similar feeling of security to swaddling, DS slept better when we switched him to one around this age.

Getting DH to do the evening feed sounds like a great idea. You can store expressed BM in the fridge for three days, so just pick a time of day that's best for you -- I know some people suggest doing it a little while after the morning feed as you will be fairly 'full' then.

Unfortunately regression around this age is v common (my DS was sleeping through until 12 weeks), I think it's because there's so much going on developmentally, plus growth spurts, plus they are becoming aware of the world and of their mummy that they want to stay close to! You will get lots of sympathy on the SIFTW thread, and remember the mantra, "It's just a phase"

she's not regressing - she's just changing and growing. She is SOOOO tiny - she can't learn or unlearn habits. She has no wants that aren't needs. Just feed her whenever she asks, cuddle her whenever either of you want to, and don't give her water - she needs milk to grow, not water to fill her tummy. Go with her - she is too little for her to go with you!

Thanks for tip about expressing Meg. But would I also need to express around 10.30pm so my supply doesn't get confused - otherwise it would be like skipping a feed (and supply has been a bit dodgy at times, so don't want to mess up)? (sorry maybe this is diverting away from sleep thread)

Good to know regression is common - was convinced I am doing something wrong to make her learn bad habits. I was reading about 'core night' method that says you shouldn't feed them if they start to wake earlier. Thanks seeker and meg for reassurance.

I imagine you could hand-express a little when you go to bed til your supply gets used to the new pattern, though you might want to ask on the breastfeeding boards for a more expert opinion!

your midwife should not be recommending cool boiled water for a bf baby at this age.

you are still establishing your milk supply and night feeds are important in order to do this.

your baby will also experience growth spurts so it is important to feed on demand at this age as growth spurts go hand in hand with building a milk supply which will make future bf successful.

my advice to you is to room in with your baby if you are not already doing this and ideally, to co-sleep, even if only for a part of the night as this will make the night wakings more manageable.

just briefly read another response below. you cannot teach a baby at this age 'bad habits'. i'm a bit curious to know where you have heard about 'core night' and 'bad habits' for tiny babies. - in a nice way, not to be judgemental or to have a go.

I would second what everyone else is saying. You can't create bad habits at this age, it's very normal (exhausting but normal), she doesn't need water and what works one day won't the next. You'll probably be inundated with people in real life who tell you that their baby slept through from 6 mins old and has done ever since. It really isn't the case. Any number of things can cause them to wake, hunger (very likely at this age), comfort, uncomfortableness, hot, cold. All the things we all wake for. You will find that sometimes it'll get worse and then get better again but I doubt it'll be consistent for a while. Keep feeding on demand and you'll get through it one way or another. Don't spend too much energy worrying about what may happen if you don't do this or that. I can tell you from experience, it's pointless and more exhausting than accepting a few months of unbroken sleep.

and ditch those books they only make you feel like a failure and they were not written about your baby.