4yr old not sleeping

[daddychris1985]

Hi all,

My little boy is 5 next month. He wakes up several times in the night asking for a tuck-in and/or someone to sit with him until he goes to sleep. He then wakes up properly for the day about 5.30.

We're exhausted. We've tried reducing the amount of time we sit with him, gradually sitting further and further away, night lights, etc. We've tried just leaving him and he just gets himself into a state.

Any ideas greatly.appreciated!

Many thanks in advance.

Can you put a mattress or ready bed on the floor next to your bed, and tell him if he’s very quiet and doesn’t wake anyone up he can come and sleep on that if he wakes in the night?

My first son was like that, he never really slept well away from me in his own room. So we put a small mattress on the floor by our bed. It wasn’t ideal, but at least we got better sleep. He went back in his room at about 7 years old. My second son slept better and was in his own room from day one.

Go in and tuck in, or whatever he needs. Then stand in the doorwsy until he's asleep.

After a few days/weeks, start "popping to do something" while waiting at the door. Make sure it's just a minute or do and always go back. Stay until he's asleep.

Make the "Just popping to..." more frequent and longer.

We are having the same issue with our 3.5 year old and just posted another thread except he doesn’t know why he’s waking up and doesn’t ask for anything. Sympathies

Is this new behaviour or has he always been a poor sleeper?
If it's ongoing and you're worried because he's at an age where his sleep really should be improving, you can talk to your GP about a paediatric sleep medicine referral (if you're in London, there's a clinic at Evelina Hospital your child can be referred to).
If it's new behaviour then I'd really analyze his daily routine, what's changed (even the smallest of things), how much play time is he getting at school, how is he at school in the classroom (is there any unhappiness or stress at school? Is he struggling with another child, with anything academic- I know that in reception, it is a year where kids learn through play, but they can be a bit sideswiped by the academic crunch in the summer term to get them writing and reading more before year 1. This can stress children.).

I'd say it's something waking him. Need for the loo, getting cold, too light in his room ( we use a red light night light) or could just be anxiety. Definitely sit with him and tell him before bed that you will be in to check on him in the night and so will Daddy. If he wakes straight back to bed after a wee and sit with him again. Hopefully should reduce.