Poor Toddler nighttime sleep

[Bechey]

I really need some help with my 20month dad sleep. She’s never been a brilliant sleeper but we seemed to crack it in November and she was sleeping 12 hours at night plus two hour nap during the day. I went back to work two months ago after having 18 months of work (mat leave and then furlough) since then she’s never slept through the night. She will wake frequently, I take her back to bed and she goes back to sleep only to wake an hour later. Because of the night time wakings her naps are now all over the place same as bed time, some nights 7pm some nights 10pm. We stick to bedtime routine every night but on the nights where she’s going to bed late she’s just not ready for sleep. Im dizzy with tiredness this morning. I don’t know if it’s a regression, separation anxiety or could it be possible she’s not needing her day time nap any more.

Any help/suggestions, I’ll try anything at this point.

Should have added she’s in a toddler bed now because she wouldn’t sleep in her cot, she can also reach the bedroom door handle so let’s herself out of her room when she wakes up. There’s a gate at the top of the stairs.

This is a really typical responce to being put in a bed (rather than a cot) before being emotionally ready for it.

The cot sides offer a sence of security and safe-feeling. As well as a tiny toddler not having the emotional intelligence to understand doing something for their own good (like staying in bed).

They just are not emotionally developed enough for all if that.

So, I'd suggest bring the cot back. Teach not cot climbing in the same way you teach other unwelcome behaviours - by being consistent and very clear in your expectations.

You can teach baby not to cot climb.

You cannot teach a toddler to emotionally develop quicker than their brain allows.

Ah. We got rid of the cot a while ago now. She was having even worse sleep in the cot, but she seemed to settle so well in the toddler bed for months, the bed does have ‘sides’ would that offer the same security? She did seem to sleep much better last night with a reduced day nap, not intentionally she got woke up, I wondered if she was maybe ready to reduce this but not stop it.