Hi everyone, I’m desperately seeking helpful advice for my 1yo’s sleep which has taken a major nose dive since we moved house 2 weeks ago. What follows is very long as I hope that by giving lots of detail someone might be able to spot how we can improve things.
My child had never been a good sleeper. We have spent lots of money on tools, programs and consultants - all with very little positive effect. in the end around 11 months on the advice of a pediatrician, we finally resorted to graduated extinction put down and CIO overnight. He slept through in 3 nights.
However, since we moved house 2 weeks ago his sleep has fallen off a cliff. Indeed, before the move his naps went haywire (I had to resort to holding him for his naps again in order to get any which is what I did for the first 8 months as he wouldn’t nap any other way - his naps and nights are directly related). It is clear that he is struggling with the changes in his life and as a result his separation anxiety is very high. We started nursery 2 weeks ago - it’s not going well sadly- he is yet to manage a full day and is starting to refuse food and drink there. I started back at work a week ago, and so all of this is making life very hard. I think my husband is on the verge of walking out ...we have had just 9 solid nights sleep
Since he was born. It’s our baby’s birthday today and DH’s main adjective to describe the first year is “traumatizing”.
We put him down at 630 each night after the following routine
Supper
Bath
Change into night nappy and PJs in his bedroom - he watches TilTak while we do this as otherwise he will not let us dress or change him
Daddy reads “whatever next”
White noise on
Breast feed (low light)
Say good night to the things in his room
Sleep phrase x3
Lights off, mummy leaves room
He will sometimes still cry then even if not over tired. I then use graduated extinction to comfort him of necessary,
He is now waking up at least every two hours and shouting mananamana and then whimpering and then finally crying. No matter how I comfort him, when I leave the room he starts crying again. Yesterday he was awake from 2-430am on the above pattern. I even tried to stay with him abs sleep on the floor - no joy,
He wakes at 6 or630 no matter what (fine).
Naps are really difficult again. I always attempt a mini version of the night time put down routing and try to follow something close to the Little Ones Schedule (20 mins max 3 hours after waking, aim for 2 hours staring around 1230 - if we get it it’s usually closer to 1pm...but he now will not nap unless in pram or being held. His nursery naps are just all over the place. I am currently holding him now after he cried on the above cycle for 40 mins. I am still in my pyjamas...
To me it seems acute separation anxiety is driving this regression but I really do not know what to do to fix it - we could CIO again but I am nervous to do this given how poorly he is taking the transition to nursery.
Does anyone have any advice or words of wisdom? I do not know how much longer we can go on as a family without decent sleep, and I am very worried about how I will cope at work (it’s a high pressure profession role).
Thank you in advance for any help!