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Sleep

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Original poster

4 year old taking an hour + to fall asleep. Send help.

17 replies

Extrapepperoni · 05/04/2021 21:34

Hello!
My DD is 4 and is as good as they come. We have a solid routine (dinner 6:30, screens off by this time, bath/toilet at 7 and then a story in bed.) We do leave a low light on in the room as she pleads for this and used to fall asleep with it on as well as some soothing songs. For the last month + now she seems to stay wired and basically keeps calling for us and asking for one of us to stay / pat her head etc. If we do, she does fall asleep but I don't want this to be a sleep crutch as she is perfectly capable of falling asleep on her own.

We talk about what she needs to be doing at bedtime during the day etc but it's now practically the norm that it's 9:30 before she actually falls asleep and it's driving me bananas. Any ideas? Thinking we take away music and the fairy lights but have tended to use these as negotiation tactics of her being allowed these as long as she doesn't call for us.

OP posts:

Chocolateismakingmefat · 05/04/2021 21:37

Bed on a full stomach?
Maybe tea earlier-like 5 pm ? Supper at 630 if that's your meal time... Bed at 7.00
If he is tired enough for a 7 bedtime he must be shattered eating main meal half an hour before that.

Chocolateismakingmefat · 05/04/2021 21:38

Sorry she..

Apileofballyhoo · 05/04/2021 21:39

Bed a little later? Or get up earlier in the morning?

Thatwentbadly · 05/04/2021 21:39

What time does she get up? My 4 year old needs about 11 hours sleep or sometimes less night. Is she getting enough exercise?

wishingitwasfriday · 05/04/2021 21:40

I agree that dinner needs to be earlier if sticking to a 7pm bedtime. She must barely finish eating and then have to be upstairs for story time. Can you give her dinner earlier?

idontlikealdi · 05/04/2021 21:42

Earlier dinner or later bed time

Original poster

Extrapepperoni · 05/04/2021 21:42

She's at nursery so getting plenty of exercise - they also do tea at 4:30 there so the meal at 6:30 isnt a huge one.

Wakes up around 7:30am, sometimes earlier if one of us is up earlier and too loud (ahem DH).

OP posts:

BendingSpoons · 05/04/2021 21:43

Can she do something like look at a book in bed to wind down? How long does she want you to stay for? DD went through a phase of struggling to sleep and we would promise to look in on her after half an hour, so if she wasn't asleep we could chat a bit. She usually was asleep as she seemed to be less worried about not being able to sleep.

When did this start? Did the hour change and lighter evenings play a part? Any change in her routine?

Original poster

Extrapepperoni · 05/04/2021 21:44

To clarify, it's lights off at 8pm.
Dinner - 6:30, upstairs for 7pm and bath, toilet, teeth, story etc. takes us to 7:45 ish.

OP posts:

Apileofballyhoo · 05/04/2021 21:47

Is it since the clock went forward?

OllietheOwl · 05/04/2021 21:49

I potter around upstairs so DD (3.5) can hear me and it makes her feel settled. If she gets out of bed I take her back, say hardly anything just “come on, back to bed”. Minimal interaction, minimal fuss, keep it very boring. If she asks me to stay with her I say “I’m just next door, I need to tidy up/go to the toilet/check on baby brother etc”. So she knows I’m there but something else is too pressing so I can’t actually sit with her (I also didn’t want to be a crutch to help her fall asleep”.
It doesn’t always work but I’d say we get 7/10 times where she falls asleep within 20min or so.
I think it’s an age where their imagination is going into overdrive and it takes a lot for them to switch off at night.

Original poster

Extrapepperoni · 05/04/2021 21:54

This has been going on since before the clocks went back. She is okay with us leaving, says good night etc. but then calls for us after, usually for some innocuous ask (eg a different doll) and then will agree to go to sleep, we say we will check on her in another ten minutes etc. But this basically just keeps going on for ages.

OP posts:

Apileofballyhoo · 05/04/2021 22:02

I used to try and put DS to bed earlier until I realised he wasn't actually tired enough to sleep yet and didn't need to be asleep by 8 or whatever it was (he's a teenager now). Is she tired in the morning?

PrincessesRUs · 05/04/2021 22:11

Sounds like my daughter - if she wakes at 7.30 there's no way she'll be asleep before 8.45pm - she just doesn't need that much sleep (she's 31/2).

yknaps · 06/04/2021 10:37

There is lots in Lynelle Schneeburg's book 'become your child's sleep coach' about strategies for dealing with 'callbacks' for kids age 3-11. Might help you out here.

cupoftea2021 · 06/04/2021 11:01

Sounds exactly my issue and similar daily routine. For over 6 months
I wonder if it is our company they crave?
Unable to unwind even with a bath
Or let themselves go off to sleep.
Any of your suggestions I will be trying myself.

Original poster

Extrapepperoni · 06/04/2021 18:01

Thanks @yknaps I'll look that book up. Think you're all right and I just have to trust she's getting enough rest and put up with the late falling asleep and hope it's just a phase!!

Will also try only leaving the night light on and not the fairy lights and see how that goes. Sigh

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