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Split night in 4.5yo-what to try next???

3 replies

JimmyJam2019 · 23/03/2021 21:09

DD is 4.5yo and for at least 18 months now we seem to have a split night where she goes to bed fine at 7pm. Sleeps well for 7ish hours, wakes for 2/3 hours and then goes back for another solid sleep for 4ish hours (if we let her, we often have to wake her for school.)

When she is awake, she just lies there, sometimes she moves around, recites some phonics or prays (?) but never cries out or even gets out of bed. We have established she is awake, this isn't a parasomnia.

We have tried:
-sleep restriction through Millpond (regardless of restriction timing after a couple of nights she would revert to waking, we had to abandon it as she was so restricted she was a zombie)
-attending to her and reiterating the importance of sleep
-leaving her to it
-consistently waking her at the same time every morning to try and reset
-magnesium and l-theanine supplements
-sleepy foods at bedtime
-sleep hygiene and environmental factors all reviewed and OK with the health visiting team

We have little medical support as she can go to sleep well and she has no developmental delay, traits of ASD/ADHD, so GP doesn't know what to do next!

One paediatrician suggested it was behavioural and we just need to get tough with her when she is awake. We believe she genuinely can't get back to sleep without this wake-up period. Why would you choose to lie there awake and not seek attention? As I have said she doesn't call out or get distressed, I watch her on the baby monitor to know when she is awake and keep a diary.

Now she is at school and we have to wake her, she isn't getting a full night's sleep and school has commented on her tiredness, so worry this will impact her learning.
Ironically, she was an embarrassingly good sleeper as a baby and toddler.

OP posts:
TinyDancer275 · 29/04/2022 09:37

Hi @JimmyJam2019

I know this thread was from over a year ago, but I was just wondering, are things any better for you now?

We have been going through this for a year and a half and my daughter also headbangs against everything so it really has been awful!

I really hope things are better now for you x

JimmyJam2019 · 29/04/2022 10:17

Hi, sorry to hear you are going through this. I know it caused me a lot of angst. To be honest we have just hung on in there and she has almost grown out of it. I think I got all consumed in trying to fix something and when I stopped stressing about it, slowly but surely she started waking less often or for shorter periods and now rarely wakes at all.
She has a number of stims and ASD/sensory traits and we are on the long road to see whether there is any support there but for now we seem to be in a place we can manage things.
One thing to consider is toileting, is your child still wet at night? Our daughter still is more times than not and we felt that may be part of it. As she starts having more dry nights, that appears to have helped.
Again, until they are older this is something you have to ride out as not recognised as an issue by GPs until they are 7.
Good Luck.

OP posts:
TinyDancer275 · 29/04/2022 21:44

Hi @JimmyJam2019

Thank you so much for replying. Its good to know that it has gradually improved for you!!

My little girl is 2 and a half and she also stims and she does show other signs but the consultant seemed to think she didn't have anything.
We have just got her a big bed so that I can lie with her if she gets upset.

We haven't even started toilet training yet - thanks for reminding me!! 😅

Thank you

Xxx

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