Ending cosleeping - how and when do you do it?

[arewethereyet]

This may be a premature question but I don't feel I can comfortably continue to co-sleep until I kind of know the answer... at what point do you move your baby into their own cot or bed? and how? We have a five week old who has coslept with us for three weeks; we like it, she sleeps like a dream, but given all the mutterings we hear from people who say we are creating bad habits, I'd like to know more about what we are letting ourselves in for. Any advice and/or suggested reading?

I'd say ignore them. it's your baby you do what you want / works for your family. Once I'd got over that feeling and just ignored people / politely told them that it was the way we did things and non of their business then we were much happier about it and will do it for as long as necessary / we can cope with. I'd say you can't create any bad habits with a 5 week old. Just enjoy it it's a lovely experience.

I agree with gingerninja - other countries co-sleeping is the norm. It's natural and a lovely way to sleep!

I started off thinking I'd never co-sleep, I love my own space to stretch out in bed - but a few sleep issues down the road my 10 month old lo is sleeping much happier cuddled up to me. I put her to bed in her own bed (at 7pm)and when she wakes up - I get her and pop her in with us. I absolutely love it and don't want her to stop, however, the time she wakes up is getting later and later - soon she won't wake up until morning time . I can't believe I'm saying this as she used to be terrible sleeper, up hourly from birth until 3 months and I used to wish and wish she would sleep through the night. Now, I don't settle properly if she's in her own room and sleep much better when she's snuggled up against me . I put her to bed in her own cot as she goes to bed early and I was worried that she would fall out of our bed if she was there on her own.

I would say - just be really relaxed about itand do what feels natural and right. I always think - 'If I were a cave woman with no-one to tell me what to do - what would I do??'

I used to be a very organised career woman before I got pregnant - I have since found the happy hippy inside me!!!!

It's also not all or nothing, yk?

With a 5 week old, or a 10 month old, it would be a no-brainer for me. Co-sleep is happier for everyone, usually.

There gradually comes a point - age varies per child - where they'll be happy to go to sleep and then for you to slip away onto a mattress/bed right next door and then they come over to find you in the night. And then they'll want their own big boy/girl bed in their own room, but still come through to find you in the night. And eventually they won't wake in the night any more, or if they do, they just roll over and go back to sleep, and they come in for morning cuddles. And eventually the idea of morning cuddles is revolting and eurgh mum gerroff.

Three in a Bed by Deborah Jackson is a lovely book :-)

Thanks very much for the advice and encouragement. You hear so many negative things about having baby in the bed that it starts to seem like a bad idea even though it's working well for you. The curse of being a first time parent...

we are doing a rotating two in the bed. when DH gets up to go to work in the morning he is replaced by DS (6 weeks). this seems to work well as both DS and I get a nice morning sleep in and he seems to enjoy it so much and his breathing is nice and deep and even. When he wakes hungry he latches on for a bit of bf and when he has had enough of that (it can be over an hour!) I get him a bottle. after this we are usually ready for a walk outside. it makes for a very relaxed baby.

If it's not a problem for you it's not a problem. DD1 slept with us until she was 3 and then moved happily to her own bed when she was ready. DD2 is now sleeping with us at 3, she will do the same, I'm sure. It feels right and natural and I am so not a hippy

I loved cosleeping but both the DDs got to a stage where they would move and fidget so much none of us were getting any sleep. With DD2 we had a bedside cot and this made the transition easier as she was used to being in it for part of the night anyway. The last side went up the day I decided to stop BFing her at night but for a month after that she slept beside me in the cot and then we just moved the cot into her room no problem. DD1 was very similar as well. The best thing is now in the morning DD1 will wake and come into bed with us and I will go get DD2 and we all have a sleepy cuddle or fall back asleep for a bit.

IF I had a big enough house I would have two matresses on the floor and we could all pile in oh and a spare room with a nce double bed for "mummy and daddy time )

I started having my dd sleep in with me when I just got too tired of getting up to feed her, then moved her into a cot at about 14 months because she's was waking to snack from me so much I was exhausted, and in fact she slept fabulously from then on.

Do whatever works for you - i agree about the Deborah Jackson book, it made me feel much more confident about what I was choosing to do, cos you hear so many negative things about co-sleeping.

I think you should do whatever makes you feel happy (or less exhausted)

My dds slept with me initially, but with dd2 I had a bedside cot so she was in bed with me but had her own space too.