Hi! Similar situation here. DD almost 9 months. Until about 2 months ago she co slept and as I BF it was on demand, all night. She would take every 2 hours, sometimes more often, and need feeding back to sleep. It got where this wasn’t enough and after feeding she would have to lay on me/my chest to get back to sleep which meant months of me sleeping on my back, half sat up, with her sleeping on me all night. She also didn’t go to bed until we did around 9pm, although would be asleep on us from 7.30-8pm ish on the sofa when we all then transitioned upstairs. She always refused the next to me crib and even all of her naps had to be on a human - if you put her down on her back on any surface she would wake immediately and scream.
Two months ago we put her in her own room and cot. This did not go down well, and despite sitting next to her holding her hand or touching her chest she got so upset she was making herself sick. I moved her back into our room and into the next to me and after w few nights managed to get her doing a few hours in there each night. Progressed to putting her in it for naps too. After this I started putting her in cot in her own room for naps and then for bed time. Naps were short (30-45 mins) and she would wake at night after a couple of hours and then come into bed with me. This slowly built up for her doing around 4 or 5 hours at the start of the night until about 11pm when she would when come in my bed.
Last week I pulled the plaster off and rearranged her routine a bit. It now looks like this:
6-7am - wakes up, currently trying to get her back to sleep until 7am which involves cuddling or sometimes BF
7am - nappy change, breast feed (both breasts)
8am - breakfast
9/9-15 - nap in cot, she is rocked to sleep for this, Max 45 min nap, wake her at 10am if not already awake. Nappy change at this point.
11.45 - lunch - plenty of protein and getting as much food in as she will take
12.30 - nap for 2 hours. She was previously managing only 45 mins but this is getting longer now, I think because she is tired and full. Again we rock to sleep, no boob!
2.30 - if not already awake then wake her up, nappy change, feed from both breasts
5pm - dinner, again plenty of protein, carbs and veg plus fruit and yoghurt for pudding. Small amount of water with meal. BF from one side after dinner.
6pm - bath
6.30 - into her room and sleeping bag, feed of the other breast, put her to sleep at 7 when she is usually already zonked out
She is waking around midnight atm and I’ve been feeding her then, again both boobs, but nothing else after that until her 7am feed.
Last night she woke again at 2am, 4am and 5.30am. Husband and I took in turns to go settle her, sometimes takes 5 mins, sometimes 20. Occasionally she settles but wakes again a few mins later and we have to do it again.
Big changes have been feeding her when she wakes at 7/2.30 rather than feeding her to sleep. Cuddling and rocking to sleep rather than BF. Keeping to consistent times for naps and bedtime.
Room is very dark with blackouts. She has a sleeping bag rather than blankets. No dummy as I never used one.
Mine isn’t perfect yet, I’m getting woken up every 2-3 hours still but I’m seeing progress most days. I think persistence is key even though it’s so hard when you’re exhausted. I’ve started getting migraines again this year having not had them for 4 years and it’s because I’m so tired.
Hope this helps a bit. You’re not alone!