Breastfeeding/cosleeping toddler - how to manage with new baby

[angstriddenhipster]

Hello all.

I am the mum of a wonderful 25 month old girl. She is fantastic, but has always been a difficult sleeper. We never sleep-trained her and I just breast-fed her to sleep. I am still doing this now, with the result that she wakes multiple times in the night wanting to be breastfed back to sleep. Lately I have taken to putting her to bed in her own bed and then bringing her into mine and DH's bed when she wakes, usually about 1am. This is great for me, as I get a reasonable night's sleep, and she is happy to just snuggle down with us rather than feed to sleep, but now it's clear that she won't be put down again in her own bed.

This is all fine for the moment but my DH and I would really like to start trying for a new baby. Has anyone continued co-sleeping and breastfeeding through pregnancy and newborn stage? I am thinking that this can't work and I'm going to have to wean and train my DD to sleep in her own bed? Or has anyone made it work? I am dreading weaning/getting her to sleep as I know it will involve lots of sleepless nights and I'll have to take time off work which is a drag as my husband is out of work at the mo and I wanted to work as much as possible before another mat leave. DH has offered to deal with nights FAOD but I think that as she is used to me comforting her at night it would be better for it to be me rather than her feeling abandoned.

I guess this is more of a ramble than a question but I would love to hear from anyone who has successfully transitioned their toddler away from co-sleeping or breastfeeding at night. I feel like a bad mum for not having taught her to sleep on her own, but at the same time, she is a very happy and lovely girl and I also worry that changing things will be hard on her :S

I am also very anxious about the safe sleeping guidelines for under 1s and so wouldn't bed-share with a baby.

Hiya currently in a similar situation in that we would like to try for DC3 very soon but DC2 who is 2 is breastfed to sleep and breastfed back to sleep multiple times a night, then feeds constantly from about 5am.

I have done it before though as we nightweaned DC1 when we wanted to try for DC2 and I did this by sending my husband in to do the initial put to sleep and then extended this to include the night wakings. He was upset and did cry but by night 3 he accepted the new routine. I'm not really sure it would work this time though as different personality and so will watch the thread to see if you get any good advice. X

Just re read and seen your daughter is 25 months. My son is 25 months too! 😀

I was in a similar situation with DD1 when we conceived DD2. I was open to continuing feeding and tandem feeding but equally open to weaning if it felt right. At the time I got BFP she was still feeding regularly day and night although she'd just started going to sleep without it as long as I was there. She also comes into bed with me after first wake

During pregnancy I think my supply dropped and I tried to gradually reduce feeds as it just felt right and it was amazingly ok, we gradually drew out the day ones and then one day we stopped night feeds altogether (I talked to her about it that day and we read books about it) and although she shouted very briefly for the first feed she accepted it very quickly and it wasn't anything like I expected. Eventually we were just doing one first thing in the morning feed and then by third trimester it seemed like it was upsetting her tummy (colostrum maybe?) so one day I said no more milk today and that was that

I don't actually remember the last feed and she was 2.5 by then and had fed so regularly until we started to wean.

Once the baby arrived we got a bedside crib for the baby with side up, and DD1 sleeps on the other side of me in a big bed. It's all been absolutely fine so far and they don't really disturb each other! DD2 is four months now

Had to do the mental maths there. So a 2 year old 🥴

Your sleep situation sounds less than ideal, not only should a 2 year old be getting good quality sleep but you’ll be exhausted if you’re still getting up through the night heavily pregnant.

If I were you I would night wean before trying so you know you will be well rested throughout pregnancy, and hopefully your daughter will be sleeping through by the time the new baby arrives.

I don’t have suggestions for night weaning a toddler but there are plenty on here. Good luck

@Creamcarpets I had a similar situation to you also in that when DS2 was conceived I was still regularly feeding 2 year old DS1 during the daytime. Though I had night weaned him at 18 months. I fed him until I was about 17/18 weeks pregnant but at that point he started getting an upset tummy after every feed. I took him to the doctor as I didn't connect the two initially but like you now think it must have been changes in the milk with pregnancy. He accepted not feeding any more easier than I thought he would as he was very attached to his milk before hand. X

Hi all

Thanks for your replies.

I decided to take the plunge and have started night weaning my DD. Basically I have fed her asleep as usual for the last couple of nights, but explained that as she is getting bigger there won't be any milk left during the night, but she can have more when the sun comes up. She woke perhaps 4 or 5 times and did cry 2 or 3 times on the first night, but was consoled quickly when we put the light on to read a story then snuggled up to go back to sleep. Last night she only woke twice (once at midnight when she wanted to get into bed with me, as usual) and then once more at about 4 am. She did cry a little then but again was quickly consoled with a quick story and snuggled back to sleep. It's honestly going a lot better than I thought it would, so hopefully if I stick with it she will stop waking and asking for milk at night.

The next challenge will be getting her to sleep in her own bed (at least without me squeezed into it). But as she goes to sleep in her own bed in the first place, if she starts sleeping through and waking less maybe this won't be so hard.