Sleep training, your experiences please. am trying my best but struggling with it.

[pevie]

My LO is 6 months and has been unsettled since beginning (hence many previous posts on all sorts of issues!!) She now seems a bit happier and more settled in day and is on medication to control reflux (although doctor not sure that it is that!!) She started out not too bad at night even when bad in day but gradually became more of a nightmare at night, waking up constantly and not allowing us to put her back down, either in her own bed or ours so that we were surviving on a few hours sleep a night!!! Inbetween this we would have the odd okay night. Anyway, got so desperate we consulted a sleep consultant who suggested that we try and teach her to self settle by staying with her for a minute and leaving for a minute. We agreed I could still feed her twice in night and pick her up initially so that I could reassure myself she wasnt uncomfortable, you can usually tell. We started 6 nights ago, had awful first night then brilliant second night when she only woke once and settled after a feed. Third night was okay, then 4th night back to waking every few hours again (we had been warned this might happen!!). Last night the feeds seemed to make her worse as she fell asleep on me then developed bad wind when I put her down and was up for hours!!!! I am despairing about whether we are doing right thing. Sleep consultant seems to think if she settles on me quickly when i pick her up then couldn't be too uncomfortable. I really want to do the right thing but just dont feel either she or us can go on like this!!! We have older daughter too so its affecting her too. Did it take this long for anyone else?? What about wind after feeding? Can you still sleep train then or should we cut out feeding altogether? sorry about the rant, I'd really appreciate your thoughts.

Am a bit disappointed there have been no thoughts on this as would really welcome some reassurance so am just updating in the hope that someone reads it and takes pity!!!!

my 6.5 month wakes at 11.30 for a feed, then 3.00, then 7 ish. I feel this is normal.

Should we be expecting thm to sleep through at this age?

Feel I may have misrepresented myself if it seemed like I was resentful of getting up a few times to feed her. Wouldn't mind getting up a few times a night to feed if could put her back down, but what was happening was that she was up 5 or 6 times and it was becoming increasingly difficult to put her back down whether she was fed or not!! Am not expecting her to sleep through but just to sleep for at least 4 or 5 hours at a time if possible, stretching this as she gets older!!

pevie, sorry was out tonight otherwise
would have posted earlier.

Yes, it takes this long, particularly
when you are going for a half-way house /
watered down approach.
Not slagging off the approach, on the contrary,
it's good stuff but it will take a while.

You might not want to hear this but
try and stick it out for another 5-6 nights..
it will get better.

(hi Daddy j)

Stick it out - it takes time, in the mean time make sure it is not teething etc causing the exta problems. Any illness will set you back but in between stick to your guns and you will get there!

My DD was more stimulated by me going in and picking her up. We resorted to leaving her for 5 mins, then 7, then 9. We never got to the 9 without her falling asleep and I learnt very quickly to recognise if there was something wrong with her.

HTH

Does she sleep on her own and have regular naps during the day? Personally i started sleep training during the day, just cos it meant I was less tired and therefore not so desperate. We didn't start nightimes until DS was 10 months.

Ah yes its a killer if they don't settle after a feed.

I agree with Peaches: working on settling her during the day is far easier than at night.

Good luck.

I was maybe a bit mean and did both at once. She refused naps still for ages but she did nap for longer once she went off.

Little Madam drops off at Nursery no problems! Apparently she doesn't even cry for 2 seconds! (a friend has witnessed this so I know they aren't soft soaping me!)

I have to say that if your lo is a poor sleeper by nature then sleep training will help but there will be set backs and bad nights but not as often. Time has been the only real healer with DD. A little push from us helps every so often but she does sleep through now but most of my friends think I am mad - we have not been out as a couple since before she was born I have anight out planned now though Oh she is 14m now but has been sleeping fairly well since about 11m and through the night consistanly for about 1 month.

No experience of sleep training really, just wanted to say that imo and ime 6 months is still pretty young to a) go through the night without feeding and b) be able to self-settle. I noticed my DS gradually started to be able to self-settle around 7mo and now goes down fine at the start of the night and for naps.

He still wakes 2-3 times a night (and feeds 1-2 times), though, so self-settling really isn't the magic bullet some would claim it is! I think a lot of it is down to temperament, and waiting for them to grow out of it...

Is feeding her to sleep and then gently putting her down an option?

We waited for DD to cut back on her feeds before we did CC. when she was only having a couple of ounces, once nightly, we were confident she wasn't hungry, and did cc. We were very lucky, and got sorted in 3 or 4 nights.

Personally I would find it difficult to do CC if I had the slightest doubt that DD might be hungry/in discomfort (hence we're up loads at the moment as she's got a bug!)

DS3 has always gone to sleep on his own happily (ie self settles), but still wakes 1-2 x in the night for a feed. He's 6 months and its tiring, but imo to be expected.

Did cc with DS1 once night feeds dropped. Not sure it was the right thing to do.

DS3 didn't need it.

Just reread OP. DS3 has no wind / occasional small burp after feeding now, unlike your DC.

Probably teaching you to suck eggs, but have you tried raising her cot at the head end?

Is "sleep training" a euphemism for controlled crying? If it is, then your baby is FAR too young - even cc's most avid enthusiasts say that 12 months is the earliest you can stary. At 6 months most babies still need to be fed in the night - it's only a very few who sleep through so early. Try not to get stressed - feed her if she's hungry. She will grow out of this =hase into the next one very soon!

callmeovercautious, how brilliant!!
Enjoy your night out, you richly deserve it!

Just another post here saying it does sometimes just take time - DS was waking at least 5 times at 6 mths, a nightmare to settle so I ended up cosleeping from the first or second wake. Cue lots of 'rod for your own back' comments. Without any sleep training, just every now and again trying and seeing if he could go back to sleep he managed to surprise us on occasion and started sleeping through at 8 mths (though then at 14 mths hit teething, separation anxiety etc.).

I used to just give myself little goals - if its not better by X then we'll think about training. It got us through and he improved on his own, usually just before I lost the plot. Whatever gets you through. Must be hard with another child though.

I wanted to agree as well with other posters - I just don't think we should expect all kids to sleep through or to cope on their own when they wake at night. Melatonin system that regulates sleep isn't fully developed til 5 yrs in all kids, and is only nearly there at 2 yrs for most kids. Mine definitely improved at 2 yrs. At almost same week as he suddenly developed bladder control, weirdly.

Thanks for all comments. Wasnt on last nh might as DD1 up all evening!!! Interesting to hear such mixed views. Again, am not advocating that I shouldn't get up in night at all and am still feeding at least once. However, I do think that 5 or 6 times a night is excessive especially if at least 1 or 2 of those times it takes at least an hour to re-settle. So really just looking for improvement not cure!! I had also read several times that 6 months is optimum time to try some kind of sleep training hence why we are trying it now!!! Daddyj your comment about it taking time with halfway house is helpful as thats what I suspected, as we still feeding and picking up initially to make sure not uncomfortable. So no, its not a euphamism for CC as we are picking up, etc. just trying to help her re-settle herself rather than being rocked for hours!!!

Thanks for all comments. Wasnt on last nh might as DD1 up all evening!!! Interesting to hear such mixed views. Again, am not advocating that I shouldn't get up in night at all and am still feeding at least once. However, I do think that 5 or 6 times a night is excessive especially if at least 1 or 2 of those times it takes at least an hour to re-settle. So really just looking for improvement not cure!! I had also read several times that 6 months is optimum time to try some kind of sleep training hence why we are trying it now!!! Daddyj your comment about it taking time with halfway house is helpful as thats what I suspected, as we still feeding and picking up initially to make sure not uncomfortable. So no, its not a euphamism for CC as we are picking up, etc. just trying to help her re-settle herself rather than being rocked for hours!!!

Good luck, pevie!

What you are trying to do is perfectly appropriate for her age
but by God it's hard work!! I really hope you get an improvement soon.

You might see this as a step back but if you
are still giving her a night feed and that feed is after 2/3am in
the morning you could try and bring her to bed with you...
that's how we survived the night feeds!

Thanks for support daddyj. Find it difficult when you are told different things by different people as certainly wouldn't want to do anything unfair to my children. do feel its unfair when they are getting no sleep so am trying to help her by helping her to sleep. But realise this is highly emotive subject and lots of people have different views, will keep you posted about progress!!!!

Please feel free to continue sharing your expereinces.