1 yo won't sleep without me

[[AUTO]yhcrykm39b002]

So... We have an 11 yo and we have a 1 year old.. and since lockdown everything has gone slack in my household it isn't just lockdown it's being locked up with a newborn too. I've lost all motivation and just feel down. I know other people are more than likely feeling the same i just need to vent really. My partner has still been working thru lockdown and is at work 7-18 we have our issues but that's a whole other post!
My baby has no routine really is bf on demand, doesn't go to bed properly until about midnight we co sleep and if I'm not in bed she wakes up around 9/9:30 and will just not go back to sleep so she comes back out to living room with us and won't go to sleep at all till I go lay down myself. I really want to put her in the cot but she screams till she is sick even with me standing there patting shushing etc the longest she's been left is about 10 mins after trying 3 mins go in comfort 6 mins and then 10 but was too much for both of us. Sounds pathetic but I can't bear to put her thru it. I've laid in her cot to get her to sleep a couple of times but she figured it out after 2 times and so the third she fed for about hour and half continuosly, being half asleep making sure i don't leave, in complete darkness too!
So my Q is what do i do. I need time without her, I need space in the bed, I need a break! Even if she went to bed and slept 4 hours without me it'd be a blessing for me. i haven't had a bath since she's been born just 5 min showers! Haven't had sex in about 7m but like i said there's more to that than her cosleeping with us! Then there's the eldest doesn't want to do any school work kicks and screams when asked to her bedtime has gone out the window because i just thought fuck it I'm done arguing for her to then smash her room up or scream like an actual devil for an hour yes maybe I have let her have too much screen time but with a new baby it was really hard work on my own. I'm Feeling like I can't cope and want to explode sometimes.
Sorry I've gone off bed routine just ranting if you managed to get to the end, thank you!

I think that you might need to get some help for yourself before you sort out both of your DC. From what you've said, it sounds like you may have PND. Do you think you could have?

How much tome do you get to yourself or with DC1 on your Partners day off? Does he ever take either of them out fir a couple of hours so that you get a break?

I thought I did a while back but had to get on with it really. I don't get any time with my first and she feels the same way, she was a hard child before the new came along anyway but recently haven't had any time with her. I try with her work but we have a baby in the middle of us and she hates being told solutions with her home schooling it's her way or its wrong:/

No partner doesn't take them out, dc1 isn't his so they're not always great together.. your not my dad etc...

It was about 4 weeks ago i was going to my mum's ( support ) I got out the shower and said seeing as you've finished work early you could watch the baby for three hours? He's scoffed and said yeah right! So we had an argument about it and i said since day one youve not once offered to have her not even take her for a walk without me so I get a break etc and he starts saying how he can't stop her crying as he doesn't have the boob yadayadaya in the end he said said he would take her but took his sweet time doing what he had to do before i could leave! but i just couldn't believe t was an argument to get him to have her.

I think that you need to have a frank discussion with him. Tell him you can't go on as you are and you need him to step up.

There are lots of things he can do to help. He could try and settle DD at night, he could take her out for a walk in the evening so that you get an hour with DD1. He could take her to the park at the weekend. At 1 she can go a few hours without you and will be fine with water, food and a cup of milk, they both just need to get used to spending time together without you having to be there.

If he's not willing, I think I'd be thi oh about what benefit you actually get in him being around.

Please have a think about talking to your GP or HV tomorrow about how you are feeling as well. You sound as though you might need some support

How are you this morning @[AUTO]yhcrykm39b002?

I've tried so many times he fell asleep one time the other time he says "well I'm trying to start my business so sorry it is what it is atm". Idk what to do. Idk what to say to my gp i feel like he will say there there, here's your prescription things will get better" I also don't want to look like an idot who cannot cope. Thank you for asking and thank you for responding

Idk what to say to my gp i feel like he will say there there, here's your prescription things will get better" I also don't want to look like an idot who cannot cope.

You won't look like an idiot, you'll look like a Mum with PND and that can happen to anyone. The tablets may well get you to a place where you are strong enough to sort out the three issues you seem to have, your DD2's sleep, spending time with DD1 and the lack of support from your partner.

I feel bad that tablets are probably the answer. My partner just doesn't understand. He doesn't know what depressed is.
I think i should leave him but I can't because his baby.

Wow this post went from help with sleeping to a rship crisis ha! Sorry