Can't cope anymore.

[Layladylay234]

9 month old, presumably sleep regression but who the fuck knows. Wakes at 12/1/3.30 trying to crawl out of cot,sit up. Screams and screams and screams. Tried controlled crying,worked before,not now. Just becomes more hysterical. Tried pick up our down,doesn't work. Tried standing over her cot holding her arms and legs which she finds comforting but then,after 10 mins,I let go gradually,she wakes up and I'm back at square 1. I know she's developing and 9 months I'd the milestone,but I seriously can't cope anymore. I don't want to be here if this continues on. The screaming at night then being with her all day is exhausting. I'm now on the couch as we put her in the bed but I don't want to be there.

Oh and she only sleeps for 30 mins in the day. Whether she's in the cot or in the pushchair. So I can't even rest during the day.

Oh and she started nursery so add some separation anxiety into the mix.

How are you today?

Lots of babies find having their jands/arms held to be comforting. It's the closeness and reassurance that you're there, while also allowing baby to fall asleep in the cot rather than your arms. I would continue doing this.

How about bringing the cot back next to your bed? It will make life much easier for you.

Then have a hand firmly on her chest, holding her hands. Another lying on her legs if she needs it. Then just wait there (reinsertibg dummy as needed). Stay right there until 10-15 minutes after she's in a deep sleep. Don't try to move until she's fully asleep and has been a while (at least not initially). She might cry but don't get stressed, stay compassionate and caring, she's tired and needs your help.

Do the same at 9am for morning nap and at about 2pm for afternoon nap. Be religious about it. In cot, after milk and winding, firm hands on chest/thighs. Sit/lie on your bed and hold her until asleep in the cot.

Then lie down yourself on your bed and have yourself a rest!

Thank you for your response. Still exhausted. She came into our bed at 1.30,slept until 4,then wriggled around until 1 of us got up at 6.30 with her. Needless to say we're both on our last legs.

I did suggest getting the cot closer but I don't think one side comes down and it wouldn't fit in next to our bed as it's a monster.

We renovating the house across the road (where she will finally be in her own room) and we have a spare bed over there so we've agreed to take it in turns to sleep there on alternate nights and the other person just takes her into the bed when she wakes. Nothing else seems to work,she just wants to be close to us. At least if we're getting a good night sleep on alternate nights then we should be able to cope a bit better as it's not good all of us being exhausted.

I did suggest getting the cot closer but I don't think one side comes down and it wouldn't fit in next to our bed as it's a monster.

I would be inclined to remove a chest of drawers out of your bedroom in order to fit the cot in.

Or a wardrobe, or dressing table, or whatever. Shift those out into the nursery (make it a temporary "dressing room") in order to get the cot next to your bed.

It will help your exhaustion and is also a longer term solution to independant sleep.

If your cot is flat pack (95% plus are) then you can just take one whole side of the cot off, using an allen key.