18m old made himself sick

[Horehound]

Uft so my boy wakes up all through the night wanting fed. It usually results in him sleeping in our bed so I can doze as he feeds.

Tonight I said no more feeds and wanted to try the technique where you sit close to the cot but do not engage and then every night you get closer to the door. I've done this before but had to abandon when he got sick. It worked really well the first time we did it.
Tonight, he worked himself up so much even in the first five minutes he spewed everywhere and then took ages to resettle by being held and sung to. I feel so bad and now because of this he obviously has an empty tummy and so I can't just not feed him tonight as he is used to having feeds anyway so with being sick it will be worse.
Tell me how I get my boy to sleep himself and then also to not wake for feeds. Please!

Do you have a partner who can sit with him? Might be too difficult for him to understand why you are sitting right by him but refusing to feed him.

Does he have other ways of being soothed and comforted in the day time or is it always feeding?

I've been night weaning my 16 months old. My DH resettles her if she wakes and the wake ups and really decreased. She even did 7.30pm till 4.30am the other night.

How does he fall asleep at the start of the night? Might be a good idea to change what you are doing there, just for that one settling session, and then gradually reduce feeds at other wakes.

Agree with above poster re DH attending to night wakes if you have a partner. DH does any wakes before 1am here and about a week after we started that, DS slept through until 1am - now he sometimes wakes between 11pm and 5am, but not always. I give him a feed at 5am or whenever he wakes and he's started settling with it a lot easier.

If you are interested in a very gentle approach, take a look at Lyndsey Hookway on instagram and her posts on habit stacking (you add in additional sleep cues like white noise, shushing, patting, a lovey, a song, etc alongside feeding, and then gradually peel away either feeding for less time and then doing the other things, etc - there will probably still be some tears with the change but little one would be with you so not so scared/upset that they're sick) - it isn't a quick fix though and could take weeks/months.

There is also some research/anecdotal advice to say that night weaning doesn't necessarily stop night wakes, you may just have a harder time of getting DC back to sleep (this may be for younger babies, I'm not sure).

@minniemango but he had fed right before! I fed him then put in cot. It's annoying because he was actually falling asleep being fed but I chatted to him to keep him awake and then he really kind of perked up and wanted to play.

My husband could do it yeh and he did help the last time but that time we also started the first few nights me doing it

And just to clarify...this was at bedtime so not a night waking.

So there's been a fee techniques I've used in the past that he responded well to but then all went out the window when he got sick or teething. So tonight I wanted to try the retreat one again as he responded so well last time.

Otherwise he goes down and then rolls about on his cot playing with his comforter then chucking it away. If I move away from the cot he panics and cries. He laughs if I'm beside it though. I'll run his back and either sing or whisper or am silent...depends what mood he is in to what one makes him eventually go to sleep.

I absolutely hate bedtime!!

At 18 months he is feeding for comfort not hunger so doesn't matter to him that he's already fed. If you're right there he doesn't understand why you're withholding comfort which is probably why he was so distressed.

I'd "go out" at bedtime and have daddy doing all settling and night waking.

Not sure what you've tried already but this method worked well for me- good luck!

@APeakyBlinder I love that. Thank you for sharing - that was such a calming read

Yes @APeakyBlinder we started night one last night and actually it went well! He woke twice for feeds which was fine and both times went down awake and I think he slept the longest stints he abs in a very long time. Then first thing this morning had a huge feed but was happy!

Fingers crossed it continues but I did see a lot of snot this morning and a cough so maybe I should wait until I know he is better.

Husband thought the plan was good to so at least we are on board with a way forward!