When did you stop co-sleeping?

[pikkukettu]

I feel like I’m posting a lot atm but being a FTM it feels like I have endless questions.

If you co-slept, what age were your little ones when you moved them to their own cot/bed? And how did you manage it?

Currently co-sleeping with my 4 month old boy because I just can’t get him to sleep in his own cot - even his next2me isn’t close enough! I’ve been fine with this arrangement so far because it means we both get more sleep, but recently it seems like I’m disturbing him whenever I move and he’s not sleeping as well as he could. That said, it might just be the dreaded regression cropping up!

I’m also slightly worried that the longer I leave it the harder it will be to get him to sleep on his own - that’s what I keep getting told anyway! I’m not in any huge rush to move him, but I’m just curious to hear other people’s stories/get some tips for when I do give it another go.

I think DS was close to 1yo before he would sleep in his cot. He had to fall asleep in bed with me before I could gently move him over to the cot and then leg it downstairs.

Every baby and parent is different though. He started as a terrible sleeper and I didn't have the willpower/nerve to try to get him to sleep on his own and risk hours of an awakened baby before that!

We stopped around 9/10m. Before that, I had usually put DS in the cot for the first stretch of sleep. Initially he would feed to sleep and I would move him and then we worked on him falling asleep in the cot. We would cosleep from first waking. Then gradually started returning him to the cot.

I disagree that it gets worse as they get older. I think do what works for now and work on it when it no longer works. Both of mine changed quite a lot at around 10m. They could self settle and cope with a different routine.

DS always started the night and his naps in his own bed/cot, then at some point in the night I'd give up and bring him in with me. I felt that it was important for him to know that he had his own space, but that I was there if he needed me.

Once he was walking he would often get up in the night and climb in my bed, often he didn't even wake me, so I class that as sleeping through!

The night visits got less frequent once he started school. He's 9 now and would only ever climb into my bed if he was unwell or had a nightmare - a couple of times a year if that.

We neither encouraged or discouraged co sleeping, and it gradually tailed off by itself as he grew up.

DD1 was sleeping a few hours on her own when she went into her own from not long before 2 and we still usually ended up resetting her at some point. She gradually needed less and was definitely sleeping through by herself when her baby sister arrived and disrupted her.

DD2 is 19 months and I’m still cosleeping. She sleeps for the first 2/3 hours a night by herself.

I still cosleep because we both enjoy it but if sometimes me and DP want some alone time in bed without DC cough then I put my T-shirt I’ve been wearing down in cot and tuck it in the sides of the cot so it’s super tight, then lay DC on it and he gets my warmth and smell. He hasn’t woken up before his usual sleep cycle length yet I end up bringing him back in the bed before he wakes.

Now he has started crawling into his cot at night cry

I coslept with my eldest until she was nearly 2 and a half. It worked well for us and I was happy with it. Currently cosleeping with 3 month old twins as it’s much more convenient for night feeds.

Didn’t have any issues at all when we wanted DD to be in her own room/bed. We read stories about it - A Room of YOur Own, A Bed of Your Own etc etc. Once we’d read them once or twice at bedtime we talked to DD and said soon it would be time for her own “big girl bed”. One day when she came back from preschool we had made up her room with her big girl bed and a dolls house and some new posters. She loved it, and job done! The only issue we had was that she wanted a nightlight in winter as she doesn’t like falling asleep in complete darkness - our room has a streetlight fairly close to it, so was never completely dark, whereas her room faces the garden. She still has the nightlight now, 2 years on, but had only ever come in after 7am. She does love a cuddle in the “family bed” on a Saturday morning, DH ends up sleeping at the bottom!

@FTEngineerM - for “alone time” we keep the spare room made up!