Newborn - sleep = exhaustion

[Bubba1208]

I have a beautiful 9 day old DS who is not taking to sleeping at all.
Well aware I've probably got too high expeditions for LO , I'm a ftm & feeling crap

The first few nights were rocky as hell , as expected , then he seemed to settle almost & now it's going back to how it was last week.
1 step forward & 2 steps back

So far we have tried

• swaddle ( very effective the first night , not so much since )
• lights dimmed / night light / light off
• Alexa on in the background playing a baby soothing list from Spotify
• sleeping in arms then transferred to crib
• baths before bed
• upped his feeding ( advise from HV )
• stroking his face / stomach
• singing & talking in low tones
• nappy change before bed
• tried to keep to a routine as much as we can

Last night he slept for 3.5 hours before wanting feeding , I actually cried cos I was so happy he'd settled , was up for a hr & a half then back to sleep for 2 hours
He's had 3X 20 min naps today. I think he's overtired himself

Does anyone have anything else we can try ?
Lack of sleep is exhausting us but on the flip side , he's so worth it

Thank you

Is he BF or FF?

BF sorry

Good lord , bottle fed 😂

Would you consider just holding him for a nap? Or doing one in the pram or sling? I think he is very likely to be overtired from what you describe.

Hmm ok, a sling might be a good shout! Or cuddling to sleep, rocking, nursery rhymes? Letting him sleep in your arms? Maybe in bed so he can lie next to you and you can lie holding him like with your arm around him and watch TV/read etc so it's not so boring?

I've no problems him sleeping in my arms , Tbf that's mostly how we have to put him down for a nap anyways , it's as soon as he hits the Moses basket is when he wakes
Not so much a deal breaker during the day - deffo look into getting a sling so I can continue with housework tho so thank you for that suggestion

It's more the night times when we struggle
I'd sit in bed with him snuggled into me all night but I'd be terrified in case I fell asleep & caused him injury

Cosleeping? Or a cot right next to the bed so you can put your hand on his chest whilst he sleeps?

I did the side cot with my hand on the chest .. this worked the majority of the time for me or a cuddled her to sleep 👍

White noise, needs to be quite loud

He’s so tiny still, this is very normal (and yes, completely exhausting!) His days and nights won’t be in a set pattern yet (I think it took my DS a good 6weeks before days and nights seemed to be worked out) Rest as much as possible in the day and consider sleeping in shifts with your partner in the evening/night (My DH would do up until midnight so I could get a block of sleep 8pm-12am, then I’d take over whilst he got some sleep for work.) This helped massively and didn’t last forever. It meant I could get more like 7 hours sleep over night, even if it was broken and then maybe an hour in the day whilst baby was asleep. Good luck, sounds like you’re doing everything you can.

We basically did shifts the first week and had her sleep on us while we desperately tried to stay awake but it was stressful! I then co-slept for about 2-3 weeks only and after that we had no problem putting her down in the Moses basket (at night, naps are another story ). I did wonder at the time whether the co-sleeping (on the mattress next to me) was a good transition to get her used to sleeping on a flat surface as opposed to a warm parent. And from what I understand, you can't really get them into habits at this age so no need to worry that you'll be stuck with it if it's not for you (it definitely wasn't for us long-term, but at the time definitely preferable to staying up all night on the sofa, terrified of dropping off)

Thank you very much for everyone's suggestions
It really helps knowing it won't last forever - exhaustion plays with your already high emotions

I'll give all the tips a try & hopefully find something that works.

It definitely won’t last forever. I used to wait until she was in a deep sleep and then transfer her over to the cot, patting and rocking her to sleep every night. One day she decided that she wanted to go to sleep herself and didn’t like rocking anymore, it came as quite a surprise. I was waking her every three hours for feeding 24/7 until she had reached her birth weight again and then just left her to it overnight (still stuck rigidly to 3 hours max during the day) - it really didn’t take too long for her to do longer stretches. I used to find it so stressful but as I relaxed and just tried to accept it, she seemed to relax too.

White noise worked for us !

Have you tried using a hot water bottle to pre warm the Moses basket at night? Then put it back into bed with you to keep the hot water bottle warm and keep transferring back after feeds. With us we think it helped the transition from going from warm arms to a warm basket.
Also have you tried putting a piece of clothing or muslin tucked on top of sheet for baby to lie on so it smells like you?
Have a four week old baby boy here who is our second son 💙

@Rbaby congratulations on your 4 week old 💙
We haven't tried the hot water bottle yet - definitely give it a try
I've just put him down for his sleep & basically let him drift into a deep sleep , but held my hand on his tummy then when transferring him I sat for a couple of mins with my hand still on him ( seen a similar post to mine on MN & someone suggested it )
He's been asleep for just under 30 mins now so fingers crossed it's worked 🤞🏼

Thank you
Congratulations to you too 😘
Fingers crossed you're having a good night xxx

@Paris2019

White noise, needs to be quite loud

Watch out with this though- no louder than a shower or you risk hearing damage.