14 week old and none of us getting much sleep

[gardeninggirl]

Hi, any wise advice would be so welcome

14 week DS never slept well really, but things seem to be getting worse not better....

Won't sleep in his cot, will sleep in pram in evening, when he wakes a few times but we can rock the pram to get him back to sleep.
Leave him to wake when hungry then feed him - he usually feeds pretty well both sides then sleeps in bed with us. Co sleeping not for any ideological reason, just to try to get some sleep.
Last night woke at 12 for 1st feed then 1 then 2 then 4.30 then 5 then completely awake from 6, so gave up and got up. Sometimes seems hungry, others seems to have ?wind/tummy pain, rolling head side to side, legs in the air, farting. Arms flailing, finally feeding usually settles him - eventually.

Am winding well for all feeds so not sure what to do for the night 'colic'.

Worst thing is so tired that turning to sweet things for comfort / energy during the day, so still in my maternity clothes . DH says he does not fancy me anymore, because I am so fat .

Just to hear this might pass would be good
GG

GG - no advice, just lots and lots of sympathy. this sounds like a fairly typical night when my DD was that age. It will get better over time, however long that might take. Do you think swaddling might help with the flailing?

Express some milk, tell your husband that you can't give up the chocs until you get a full 8 hours' sleep, so he'd better take over the night shifts if he wants you to lose weight. If it helps, nearly 8 months down the line I am still a dress size bigger than before I had DD (and I was no sylph before that!).

I'm sure some others will be along with more help soon.

Hi gardeninggirl, I've been looking out for you ... sounds like our babies came from the same mould, eh?!

Mine's been doing this at night. It's a killer, isn't it? He's been windy - I tend to try and ignore him for as long as possible as he's not always actually awake, just unsettled in his sleep. Easier said than done when you're getting battered though! If he's been really bad, I bicycle his legs, then push each knee up and across his body, then push his knees up and twist his lower body left then right, then push them both together up to his chest and repeat a few times. This often shifts a huge series of farts after which he has a feed and sleeps a bit better. It tends to culminate in a huge poo later in the night/earlier in the morning.

Oh, and go for it with the sweet things, and give your hubby a good slap. I've found porridge with golden syrup a good breakfast ...

Thank you
It is good to know I am not the only one - sometimes I think I am doing something wrong you see? I worry that I should be doing something - but I cannot think straight to make an action plan - tiredness seems to make me indecisive so I end up feeling helpless.

ImBarryScott - what a great name by the way - Up until yesterday he could not do a feed for me as DS would never take a bottle, but yesterday evening he was still hungry after a feed and took 90 mls from one! The look of horror on DHs face when I informed him this means he could now do some night feeds Unfortunately he is working full time, but I shall take your advice: any more weight comments and I shall insist he does some!

Hi CSB, How are you and your DS? I too was wondering how things are with you - do you think we are related - maybe DS's are distant cousins? Sounds like you have the same thing exactly - I so know that feeling of lying awake wondering if he will settle. Really interesting that your LO thrashes around too - I will try the bicycle trick - have not done that before.
How are your evenings shaping up now? Is your DS getting more settled during the day, I remember he does not nap much either?

Love the porrage and golden syrup - quite tempting for tomorrow if the night is bad! I am scoffing too many chocolate bars and ice creams - anything to up my energy levels when I start to flag .
Anyhow the oven blew up this morning DH has ordered another one, which will take till next weekend to get here. So it looks like a week of takeaways - so def sod any diet!

Thanks again guys!
GG

GG, when I read your post def think we're related - my cooker blew up a few weeks back!

LO naps during the day but only in the sling, or occasionally if I BF him to sleep on the bed. 45 mins is the best we can get, although the other day he did nearly 2 hours for some reason! Shame really, he's so heavy it's quite a chore but there's still no way he'll settle in the cot. HV coming today to try and persuade me to move him out of our room at least for daytime naps but since I've moved the cotbed next to our bed and taken the side off it (so at least his flailing doesn't involve my eyes in the night) we'll have nowhere to put him!

Am feeling much better after a 2.5 hour break on Thurs night and am going to a friend's tomorrow evening (just round the corner). It's good on 2 counts - DP finds his own ways of calming LO without me meddling and I get some time away from the stresses of 'difficult baby'.

As my mum keeps telling me, things will evolve, it will all pass, and she didn't move me into my own room until I was 2 and by then I was delighted and excited about having my own space. Scary but reassuring all at once ... I think with babies like this a huge part of dealing with them is actually just accepting that you aren't going to be able to conform to the prescribed 'norm' of naps, cots, routine etc. Doesn't mean you don't feel like you're going a bit mad sometimes though ...

CSB
!!! re the cooker - my mothers family were Scottish - maybe we are distant relatives?!

Snap with the napping - tho my LO not v little so is getting v heavy for the sling. I am using the BF to sleep for naps more and more, with the hope of a nap for me although it does not always work.

Hope you had a good time out for the evening - am v jealous, did force myself out on monday to go to the local 'mums and babies' in the park. Quite enjoyed it - although they all spent ages moaning about babies that woke up once or twice .Trying to explain our nighttime expoits made me feel a bit uncomfortable, people look at you as if 'are you mad?'. Difficult to explain. Lots say leave him to cry, but I have tried it and I find it so difficult. Like you I also wonder about the longer effect :'Why love matters' etc.
Your mum sounds like a wise lady, I have wished so much my mum was around, but she died suddenly a couple of years ago. She would of adored DS - think I would have partly moved in with her for a while! I do agree with you about our LOs - glad someone else knows what it is like!
Las night worse than normal for him. Awake from 3.50, fed then would not go back to sleep, first trying to play then crying.... for the rest of the night .... Aggghhhh!! Just keeping my fingers crossed for tonight.
Hope you and your LO are getting some lovely sleep!
GG

Hi GG, sorry to hear about your mum ... it must be hard. You're doing really well with such a troublesome baby though. It's rotten to hear your nights are still tough. Ditto here if that's any consolation. Just managed to get him back to sleep for a nap then escape from bed myself ... . Last night was the pits, he's taken to waking every 45 minutes . Only a BF will get him back to sleep so he ends up overfilling himself and then vomiting everywhere.

The HV keeps trying to get us to try gradual retreat but I really don't think she's grasping how difficult he is. It's not a case of 'put him down sleepy', it's a case of 'put him down sleepy at which point his eyes ping wide open and he starts howling and then crying and then shrieking and then totally hysterically screaming and gasping alternately. Even DP who's been advocating leaving him to cry from day one had to admit defeat after 45 minutes of choking tears when I finally gave in and let him try it.

I think the evening meltdowns are the worst, because I feel so much that they should be improving and they're really no better, worse if anything. But I'm going to keep making the effort to get out because it does make me feel better. I'm getting really towards the end of my tether and the time out benefits everyone as I'm so crabby with DP and impatient with LO.

Never mind, things surely can't get much worse, can they?

gg, i've been there, but largely it does get better. sometimes it's still tough, but LO has done a few sleep through the nights recently
bit by bit, they change, nothing ever lasts long.
i know how debilitating lack of sleep is though. i don't blame you on the sweet snacks. give your dh a slap for me though. dh=dickhead.