6 months - hit me with your sleep schedules and woes!

[PocketRocket12]

Hey mamas.

FTM, first time poster but frequent post lurker 👀

My little boy is 6 months old next week. Until about a month ago he had woken every 2 hours at night since the day he was born and only napped on me (begrudgingly). With some gentle practice, he now falls asleep independently happily in his cot for naps and bedtime most of the time, hurrah!

However, routines and schedules are pretty much non existent and ever changing. It’s kind of like playing Russian roulette with sleep only all the chambers are loaded and you’re also on fire...

One day he takes 4 short naps and needs bedtime at 5.30pm, other days he takes 3 longer naps and it’s a 7pm bedtime. At night he can wake once (praise be!!!) or five times (Russian roulette analogy here!) and can wake for the day anytime between 4am and 5.30am. The only regular thing about our routine is that his awake window is approx. 1hr45 (short but I think that’s due to his general lack of sleep at night).

Scary sleep people are insisting that he should be on some regular nap schedule by now by the clock with exactly the same bedtime at night and similar wake time, or at least taking the same sort of length naps each day. It’s made me question myself and whether there’s more I should be doing? Scary sleep people also insist he should be on 3/4 hours of day sleep so I frantically jump about like a mad thing doing everything possible to extend his last nap on a short nap day despite being told this should be the shortest nap of the day.

My question is... what are your little ones sleep habits at this age? What do I believe? Is this just totally normal for a 6 month old and I should just continue letting him take long/short naps until he figures out his rhythm? When you haven’t slept properly in nearly 6 months you become some sort of sleep obsessed dictator...

(If your child has slept through the night since they were four days old I genuinely think you’re a rock star but please don’t tell me that on this thread lest I drown myself in a tub of Sauvignon Blanc).

I also do wonder how much lockdown is having an impact. The only times DS has managed longer than a 30 minute cot nap has been on the rare occasion we have been allowed to attend one of the baby classes we signed up to in between lockdowns. When DD was a baby we were out most mornings at a class or group so I'm wondering if DS is just massively under stimulated because he just sits in the house all day and therefore just isnt tired enough to do big naps 🤔 yes clutching at straws I know!

Hi,
Things have been up and down for us. Have had to have him sleep on my lap from 4.30am each morning. Yesterday he slept till 7am which us a record then napped at 9am for an hour, at midday for 2hrs (!!!) then a quick contact nap at 4.30ish bed at 7pm. I was thinking this could be the start of an amazing baby with a routine.

Nope... today he got up just before 7, had an hour nap at 9am then the lunch nap was only 30mins. He struggled to self settle for it so I went back in and fed him then popped him in the cot still awake with his comforter, had my hand on his shoulder and shushed him till he fell asleep. So perhaps because he didn't fall asleep completely on his own it didn't work?

@Sassy14 the self settling is new and he doesn't always do it, and can't do it for the last nap. I had always fed to sleep and started habit stacking to get out of it by using shush pat. Initially I shushed and patted his bum while feeding then would unlach him when I thought he was almost asleep so the last bit is just shush pat in my arms.
Then I was able to do it in the cot if it was dark.
I had tried a few times to just leave him in the cot to fall asleep and he would cry. Then I came across the little ones routine (under 6 months) which did timed intervals and allowed feeding to calm them. I would put him down in the cot with his comforter and if he cried set the timer for 3mins, then come back in and cuddle and feed with the comforter but not to sleep. Eventually he started sucking the comforter and he would got to sleep with it.
I feel like he has been really clingy lately so he doesn't do it all the time.
Also, he still feeds directly before sleep and I can't seem to shift it. I feed then put his sleeping bag on then in cot. Sometimes he falls asleep on the boob.

Hi @EL1984. Don’t worry! It does take a while to settle into a routine... I have two days where a rough routine forms and then BOOM one sleep cycles naps, game over. Keep doing what you’re doing, I’m confident they’ll get the hang of it eventually and fall into their rhythm.

I was wondering if anyone else has early wakes (pre-6am) every morning? I have been told to do two different things to tackle them and I’m not sure which one to try? First one is do everything necessary to get baby back to sleep and keep them asleep until more reasonable time (say 6.30am) to reset their nap schedule and get them used to that morning wake time. I am a bit worried that this will mean he just wakes at 4.30am forever and needs me to get him back to sleep but willing to try anything.

Second thing was to delay first nap 😴 to what would be 1.75 hours after the DESIRED wake time to stop him using his early morning nap as nighttime catch up. Need to do this consistently for a week. I’ve attempted this before and it often means a 3 hour wake time and little man was totally inconsolable and overtired the rest of the day.

Thoughts? Anyone tried any of these? X

Sorry, no advice re the early wakes. My DD is 11 months, and I found once we got used to meals and down to 2 naps it was easier to have a bit of routine. Also we didn't do anything but about 9/10 months she started doing longer naps (1 hour +) in the cot. She still wakes a bit in the might though.

Dd woke around 7:00-8:30 and napped from 9:00-10:30 & 1-3:30 and then in bed asleep at 7 for the night at that age. She was also a short napper which was a total pain, until 6 months when I nap trained her and then on that schedule for the next year. I did CIO to nap train her, took 2 days and involved 10 mins of actual crying. To me, totally worth it. She was waaaaayyy happier and less tired than with constant 40 min naps. I did stick to a strict schedule which was a little annoying, but totally worth it to have a happy baby and know how each day was going to go.

She was one of the night sleepers you didn’t want mentioned though so maybe that made the schedule easier.

Oh and the trick for longer naps for me, I’m addition to a bit of CIO was increasing the wake window by about 30 mins. She just wasn’t tired enough to sleep longer but wasn’t getting the deep sleep she needed for proper rest.

@PocketRocket12 can you share how you managed to get your baby to sleep in their cot?! Mine is only 15 weeks but has only ever slept on me - she wakes up the second I put her in her cot (day or night) yet weirdly will stay asleep if I put her down on our mattress (co sleeping even though her lovely next2me is right there 🤦‍♀️). I know we’re coming up to 4 month sleep regression and terrified about it!

My LO is 4 months + 1 weeks. He has pretty reliable nap times. He wakes between 6.30-7.00am, naps at 9.30am (if he's on me, he'll nap for about 2 hours but if he's put down it's usually shorter). He then naps again about 2pm for 45 mins (ish) and then a final nap about 5.30 for an hour. He then has a bath every night between 7.30-8pm because he's a huge water baby.

He'll then go down for the night, and until 2 weeks ago was sleeping til about 4am for a feed and then going back down but he's now officially hit sleep regression and seems to wake every couple of hours through the night now! We were doing so well and now it's all crashed and burned 😂 praying it's temporary but I'm fearing it's not!

The problem is in establishing his routine, it made me become stuck in it and now I'm struggling to know what to do or how to tweak it to address this new stage he's at and attempt to get my sleeper back 😭😭😭

He's also become a really light sleeper now! Whyyyyyy did it have to change 😭😭😭😭

Not sure what happened but my LO slept till 5.50am this morning (I've had him on me from 4.30am for months). He is asleep on me now. Wooooop!!

@lolasparkle sounds like you were in a good routine. 4 month regression is awful. I follow millie poppins on insta and she is doing a 4-6 month webinar this morning (£22) she always has excellent advice so I'd look into booking on the webinar which will cover how to get through it as pain free as possible. You don't have to attend live she sends the recording afterwards. Xx

@Tier500 millie poppins will also cover how to get baby sleeping in cot!

@LolaSparkle @Tier500 I also massively recommend Millie Poppins! Her advice is so gentle but helps with overall daily routines (with flexibility because babies aren’t robots!) and also allows for comfort feeds when settling in cot for naps and bedtime if things don’t quite go to plan.

I’ve just watched the webinar as a bit of a refresher and it’s reminded me of some things to tweak in our daytime routine which will hopefully eventually reflect in better night time stretches (mainly focusing on anchoring morning with a milk feed and doing everything possible to extend lunchtime nap if they don’t manage a long stretch by themselves). Xx

Following with interest as I have a five month old who does all of this (minus the napping in the cot part), especially the early wake-ups. To be honest, I currently don't try to do anything about them other than grit my teeth til 6am when I thrust her at DP so I can get a bit of a lie-in while he has her in the living room. First nap inevitably happens on me after the first feed, with timing entirely dependent on how long DP lets me sleep for! Should probably take a more considered approach but that lie-in is keeping me sane right now!

@EL1984 (or anyone else) do you have any wisdom on how to start moving towards self-settling when baby falls asleep while feeding. I'm keen to start some gentle nap training (and maybe later the same at bedtime) but my challenge is that she only has a decent feed when it's nap or bed time (5 mins snacks otherwise) and is catatonic for most of said feed. So I reckon I'll either be popping her off before she's had her fill or putting her down so drowsy that she essentially hasn't self-settled. This seems like such a conundrum atm that it feels like the main obstacle to me starting to try and improve her sleep!

@pocketrocket I really struggle with the morning milk feed! He is just not interested, probably because I've had to get him back to sleep feeding at 4.30/5am.
The only time he will feed is before a nap or bedtime in the dark bedroom. If I even have the lamp on he moans at it and won't latch on.

@EL1984 glad it's not just me - she'll latch on but is done in five mins and I'm sure it's not enough. Good to hear yours is like this and you still got him in the cot. Just gonna bite the bullet this week and start trying to transfer her to the cot asleep as step 1. If I can get that working then hopefully it will give me the confidence to pop her off before she's totally asleep.

(As an aside, my name shortens to El and I was born in 84 and it sounds like we have similarly sleep troubled babies - I think you commented on my thread about early morning wakings - waves from across the slumbering form of a baby on the lap at 4.30am )

@EL1984 same here, he’s not interested in morning feed as he’s sometimes been feeding all night long. I literally don’t know what’s happened the last two days... he’s gone from being put in his cot awake and going to sleep to screaming at every nap and bedtime until I rock/feed him. He woke every 2 hours last night as well. Just when you think you’re sort of getting a rhythm the pull the rug from under you.

My mother in law has asked to have him for a morning to give me a break. This has sent my anxiety through the roof. He takes bottles happily so no issue with feeding but I’m so so anxious about sleep. How will he sleep and where will he sleep? Will she respect my wishes about routine? His sleep is even worse at night when he is out of rhythm so is it even worth it? Will he cry the whole time?

So much seperation anxiety, is it a FTM mum thing? A lockdown mum thing? Why can’t I relax about it?

@Etherealhedgehog what a coincidence.
Sat here having rescued the lunch nap ... he woke up after 30 mins but managed to sleep the full 2 hrs yesterday??!!
In terms of getting baby to settle in the cot it took me a long time but at the same time I'm not sure I really gave him the opportunity very often to self settle.
I started by habit stacking to get away from feeding to sleep using shush pat millie poppins has an excellent webinar on how do do this gradually. I also got a comforter involved (just having it when feeding and giving it to him in the cot when he woke up.) Once I was up to shush patting in the cot it would only work for bed time and during the night as it was too light in the day and he would start grinning at me.
Then once he had been falling asleep in the cot through shush pat I started shifting where I was feeding him from sat up in bed with pillows to on the edge of the bed near the cot so it was less comfortable to fall asleep and I gradually worked on transferring him as soon as he had fallen asleep or just before. If he woke I would shush pat or try again. Kind of a % awake approach, initially 99% asleep when put in the cot working to less asleep each day.
Then I just tried feeding, putting in the cot with comforter and leaving, I found he just started sucking it and the first time he was asleep in like 10mins!
I continued on with just putting him down, he always chats a lot and shuffle about. A few times he cried so I would wait a few mins, go in try and shush or feed with the comforter if I had to but always put him back in the cot.
Honestly he didn't cry very much, I think I had to do it for 2 naps.
Is just gradually shifting things and spending a few days on each step. I've read if they do the same thing for 3 or 4 days it becomes the norm and feel this is what I experienced.
Slightly good news on the early morning front.. he has stopped waking at 4.30am and now wakes between 5 and 6am. Hopefully daylight saving will sort this out!!
X

@EL1984 that's really helpful - thanks. Also, I hadn't thought about daylight savings but fingers crossed that does help a bit!

Hi ladies. In fit of despair 😂 the last two nights my little one has slept 6 hours max across the night, often waking every 20 minutes and being up for hours between 11-2am. Any ideas? Teeth? He’s often refusing to feed from breast and from bottle at bedtime and through the night but won’t settle. I didn’t actually think it could get much worse!

I'd do all naps on the move today - emergency measures. And keep awake times very short - first cry, into pushchair and start moving.

Infact I would actually keep these emergency measures for about 3 weeks to reset his needs.

Calpol 4 hourly on top of all of this, in case it's teeth.

Oh @PocketRocket12 that sounds so hard. No advice just sympathy, you must be absolutely exhausted (you and the little one!).

Thank you @FATEdestiny- his naps today have been good, he’s on track for about 3.5 hours day sleep. I think it might be teeth as teething gel and calpol seemed to calm him and he nursed and then slept for an hour. See how it goes over the next few days!! I’ll prioritise helping him be well rested in the day.

Oh no @PocketRocket12 sounds ridiculous. Let us know how you get on.

We have been going through a rough patch the last couple of days especially with naps. He just seems so wired all the time and although I had trouble with some naps being 30mins, this is now every nap being 30mins, actually yesterday they were down to 22mins. Also, today he is refusing to self settle (!!!) so that has been a battle. Looking at wonder weeks he is in the red for leap 5 so I kind of hope that's why. He is also desperate to crawl.

I had my call with the sleep consultant, she seemed stumped that he can self settle but isn't linking sleep cycles for his naps and with the 4.30am/5am waking every morning thinks it could be a tummy issue like really hidden silent reflux (i don't know much about this so need to do some reading). I had suspected the early morning waking could be because of his tum as he will often poo or squirm about quite a bit so our first step is to go back to basics with his solids and just have plain veg and I might need to drop dairy for a while to see if that does anything. She is sending me a meal plan this weekend to work off. Im also to try and resettle him in the cot when he wakes early from naps, feel like it'll be impossible! Can anyone do this?

I hadn't actually booked her for the night feeds but she said I could work on his night waking, he would be ok with just one feed at around 1am. I would need to settle him in the cot for any wakings before and after the 1am feed. She said at 6 months the only real option is to do the timed crying/settle, or sit with him in the room shushing, stroking and patting him. She said it could take about an hour and a half to settle him for wakings during the first night. Im going to think about this as it will be tough, we are also staying at my mother in laws while our house is renovated, moving back in about 3 weeks which will upset his sleep so she said best to tackle that once we have moved and explored the potential tummy issue.

Has anyone got any positive news!!??

Im also to try and resettle him in the cot when he wakes early from naps, feel like it'll be impossible! Can anyone do this?

Nope.

Naps in something that moves until naps are always consistantly 90 minutes plus. Then move maos to the cot, because resettles aren't needed.

Resettle would mean dummy reinsert and bouncing the bouncy chair back to sleep at the 30-45 minute mark - that does work. In cot patting and whatnot, no chance.

Enough time spent bouncing baby through to second sleep cycle, it becomes habit and resettle isn't needed. Then move naps to the cot.

@PocketRocket12 - that sounds terrible, poor you. Not a clue, other than Calpol (our 'when in doubt' tool of choice!). Really hope it improves soon.

So the positive news here is that we have had a handful of naps that lasted more than one sleep cycle (all on pram or boob because they all are atm)!! The downside is that in a desperate attempt to try and replicate that I have been really working on getting reasonable wake windows - that combined with the continued early waking has meant some VERY early morning walks Then yesterday it all went to shit, no idea why, and naps ranged in length from 9 to 24 mins (followed by the horrendous night you would expect after that). We also had a 22 min nap - must be a magic number.

@EL1984 I've checked out that Millie Poppins webinar you recommended, thanks - planning on starting that just as soon as we've established enough of a feeding schedule that I can get her to actually do a proper (split) feed before bathtime, hopefully this week!

Interesting that your sleep consultant said the early wakings could be diet related - I suspect not in our case as the start coincided with other sleep regression misery. But let us know how you get on with the diet changes - hope you get a lie-in soon! (7am! Though I suspect like me, you'd settle for 6!)

@FATEdestiny interesting - do you think they are likely to start naturally having longer naps sooner in something they moves or is this just because it's assumed that parents can usually get them through to the next sleep cycle in pram etc? DD usually wakes up after 35 mins in the pram whatever I do and I'd been hoping to try and (somehow) move that to the cot, partly because even 35 mins baby free would be grand, but also I'm a bit worried that naps on the move will stop working once we move her to a sit-up buggy (it now takes her an hour to fall asleep in the sling since she got interested in looking at everything and I suspect the buggy will be the same)

Etherealhedgehog

My A1 suggestion would be naps in a bouncy chair. You sat on the sofa, cuppa in hand and box set on the TV, baby in bouncer at your feet, bouncing using your foot. Bounce with an even tempo in a very rhythmical way.

Do this for all daytime naps

Restart bouncing at the very instant you see any slight change. It helps that baby is right in front of you, facing you with you to instantly see a "tell". This may well be just a face screwing up, or a murmur. A cry or eye opening means it's too late and you missed the chance to resettle.

So at the moment baby's face screws up after being perfectly asleep for a while, restart (or up tempo) the bouncing. Reinsert dummy if you use one and bounce back off too sleep.

It won't work every time but it will sometimes. As time goes on it will be successful more often until very little bouncing needed between cycles (and st start of nap time).

Only once naps are consistantly 90 minutes without needing a resettle wouodb3 move to cot naps

(I'm a sleep consultant. I did this with my own four children)