Desperate - 9 week old reflux baby will only sleep when held

[Clarapur]

Hi all

I’m looking for some advice please. My baby is 9 weeks old, has reflux and is on omeprazole 18mg per day (3mg per kg). This was increased from 2mg per kg last week. I can’t say it’s helped. I have also cut out dairy and soy to see if this helps him. It’s been a few weeks but not seen any improvement. He is fed expressed milk through bottle as we had difficulty breastfeeding. Feeding is a real struggle as he is constantly crying and upset, and only able to drink small amounts at a time.

My biggest problem is that he will only sleep when held. This is for all naps and night sleep. I can sometimes get him to sleep next to me but he will only accept this if he is lying in my arms on his side. On nights like tonight he refuses and will cry until held on my chest. I’m so tired and so scared of falling asleep while holding him. He refuses to sleep in his snuzpod and if I do manage to get him to fall asleep in it (this has only happened twice) then he will wake up after a sleep cycle crying. I am only able to sleep a few hours when my partner takes him early morning before work.

I’ve tried swaddling, he hates it. Won’t take a dummy, have a wedge under mattress, tried a cocoonababy, white noise, Ewan the dream sheep, you name it I’ve spent money on it. He also refuses to be in the pram on his back - I’ve tried using the toddler seat with an infant insert with him tolerating it for about 20 minutes. I have managed to get him to nap in his bouncer a couple of times but have to keep bouncing it otherwise he wakes up.

Does anyone have any suggestions to help me get my baby sleeping safely in his snuzpod? I understand the 4th trimester and him wanting to be close to me and I’m sure sleeping on my chest helps the pain of his reflux but I don’t feel it’s safe late at night when I could fall asleep accidentally while holding him. It has unfortunately happened a couple of times and makes me so anxious.

Any advice welcome, I’m seriously desperate

Oh, what a nightmare. I really feel for you, you must be exhausted. Does he wake up when you put him down?

@willowsandroses he will either wake up as soon as I put him down in the cot or stay asleep until the sleep cycle is finished - so maximum of 40 minutes

Sorry your going through this I really feel for you it's so tough. I took my child to the chiropractor as he was like this and turned out he had his pelvis shoulder and jaw out of alignment (from the birth) and was painful for him to lie flat it did really help in our situation and I've heard osteopathy can also help similarly

@Pinkychilla thanks for your message, he has seen an osteopath but can’t say I saw any improvement. I will definitely consider a chiropractor

Would you consider trying formula or a milk thickener, your post sounds like my DS and he was taking hours to finish a bottle and would wake often as I think he was always hungry as he tended to fall asleep from exhaustion not because he was full and content. Back arching and screaming at every feed (also doing pumped breast milk). We tried cow & gate anti-reflux formula and it was like a new baby overnight.

Yep been/ going through this and on omeprazole too: I also suspect Laryngomalacia, which my dr is looking into. This is my second so I fully understand attachment sleeping but my baby physically wouldn’t settle on her back. It goes against every rule but I had to resort to her sleeping on her tummy and it’s the only thing that has worked for us. Sleeping on me became too dangerous as she started to slip off me in the night.

@flossiegrippiter my gp has prescribed a formula for cmpa but I’ve yet to try it - I will give it a go. Did you do combination or switch fully to formula? I’m hesitant to give up breast milk completely as it is a protective factor when co sleeping but also hate seeing him struggle so much

Protective factor against SIDS rather

@OnlyFoolsnMothers nice to know I’m not the only one struggling! It’s so bloody hard . I haven’t tried placing him on his stomach as advice says not to but current situation is not safe either, feel so stuck

Exactly how I felt OP, I said to every HV and GP and the paediatrics team, I know this is against advice but it’s dangerous at this point to continue to let her sleep on me (I found her wedges under my arm one night after slipping off). Tbh even they said they understood why I do it, she’s 15 wks, sleeps on her tummy next to me in my bed and will start rolling soon which means the question of how she sleeps becomes redundant.

If you want to try an intermittent step between just breastmilk and anti-reflux formula then you could try mixing carobel with the breastmilk, it’s a thickener and supposedly helps the milk to stay down.

Note that the cmpa prescription milk will only actually help if he has cmpa. As far as I’m aware it’s not really thicker than any other normal formula. But the anti reflux milks are definitely much thicker, but still contain cows milk protein. If you have cut dairy and soy and are not seeing any improvement then I don’t think cmpa is your issue and the prescription formula won’t do anything. If you’re moving to formula then I’d be tempted to try anti reflux before you try cmpa milk. Or like I say you could mix carobel with expressed milk.

I know how tough it is, mine had silent reflux and it was horrendous xx

FYI Dairy takes up to 5 wks to leave your system so you may not see any improvement until then

@OnlyFoolsnMothers from reading around symptoms I didn't know if it was cmpa or silent reflux, he's my second and didn't have these issues with my first. I'd read dairy can take weeks to leave your system then theirs so thought let's try the anti reflux formula (just from
Supermarket) first before I try cutting out dairy as I was desperate for a quicker solution and luckily it worked. It's much thicker formula to stop it coming up and keeps the acid in his stomach so switched to the fastest flow teat but he started taking a full bottle, no screaming and back arching and started sleeping much better. 3 months on I'm still pumping (I bought a while extra new freezer to store it and donate the rest to milk bank) as like you say I didn't want to give up hope of not putting him back on breast milk but he's sooo much happier as are we on the formula for now!

@Rockettrain I have ordered some thickener and will give it a try! Really hope it helps him. It’s old been 3 weeks with cutting out dairy so may still see an improvement when it’s totally out my system. I have been referred to a paediatrician so maybe than do testing to see if cmpa is actually an issue

@OnlyFoolsnMothers glad the anti reflux formula works for you, will definitely consider giving formula if the thickener doesn’t help - seriously something has to give at this point

I had an identical baby and also ended up sleeping her on her tummy. It was safer than cosleeping with her on top of me.
I also gave her allergy formula called Althéra and she was on Nexium (ezomeprazole) which really helped.

Huge sympathies, we have been through this with my now 14 month old, and it's so so tough. At the risk of recommending yet another purchase (!), I found one of the breathing monitors that clips onto their nappy - we used the Snuza - helped me relax a little more when we were forced to put him down on his side or tummy. My only other advice is to keep pushing for support from any channels available - GP, health visitor etc. I found the level of understanding of how hard managing reflux is, and the quality of the support, really varied, but when you do happen upon somebody who gets it and will work with you to explore all avenues, that really helps.

Oh, and I found if I wore him in a wrap sling, propped myself up with firm cushions, and had the clip on monitor on him, it was possible to feel relatively safe dozing. Not ideal but felt a lot safer than when he was lying on me without the sling.

I had one like this!! We ended up putting him in a reclining baby chair to sleep...or he used to sleep on my chest.
We did try putting him in his side with towels rolled up either side of him.

@SpecialKtheoriginal I bought the owlet sock which definitely gives me some piece of mind. Honestly I’ve spent so much money, it’s crazy. In the early hours of the morning Amazon is my best friend. I’ve not tried napping with him in the sling but will see if it works, thank you for the suggestion.

I’ve been referred to a paediatrician and due to be seen on Tuesday so really hope something comes of it!

@Blueuggboots do you mean the pram seat? I will give that a go. I’ve changed over to the toddler seat with an infant insert as he wouldn’t tolerate the bassinet but have only tried it once so far when out and about - he managed to tolerate 20 minutes before getting upset.

No, it wasn't part of the pram, it was a separate padded seat like a baby bouncer but had an adjustable seat back. I understand that sitting babies up can have an impact on their spinal development but it was literally the only way I could get him to sleep. I also fed him, burped him sitting up.

@Blueuggboots ah I see what you mean, do you mind sharing which brand you used? I have a vibrating swing which he is happy to sit in but won’t nap in it unfortunately

We had the same and like some other posters have said, in the end we slept them on their side or tummy rather than risk me falling asleep with them on me.
For daytime naps have you tried one of those swinging vibrating chairs?

@Bobbybobbins yes I have a joie serina swing/rocker - he won’t nap in it unfortunately

My baby in question had just had his 10th birthday today!! We were lent the chair by a friend so I'm sorry, I don't know the make.

@Blueuggboots ah happy birthday to your son!