This is never going to get better is it?

[WingingIt101]

Dd is nearly 11 months.
Wakes anywhere between 1 and 30 times in the night. Never know how much sleep we will get.

Day naps are good and consistent albeit a battle to get her down sometimes.

We only feed once in the night and the rest of the time we use settling techniques taught by our sleep consultant. Never CIO.

It’s like she has a radar that tells her when my head hits the pillow.
Tonight she went down at bed time and needed resettling 6 times before 830pm. Woke at 1230 and I’ve had to wake my husband even though he has to work tomorrow as I’ve been in so many times.

I love her so much and can’t bear to hear her cry. When she cries and won’t sleep it makes me feel like a rubbish mum. I’m at my wits end. I go back to work in a few weeks and it’s to start a new job at a new company. all I can think is I’m going to be a zombie and so irritable because I never get any proper rest.

Please someone tell me how to fix it. I’ll do anything I just need us all to get some rest. Some proper consistent sleep. I can’t carry on this way. I have honestly googled “can sleep deprivation kill a human”

@WingingIt101, nah, just been there before! It was what worked best for us. Initially we had a double mattress, but DD is a really wriggly sleeper so was disturbing me. With 2 singles I couldn’t feel her wriggle.

The options really are co sleep or try controlled crying. I did controlled crying with both my 2 and found it effective, not much crying, and saved the household. My sister co slept with her eldest, they share a mattress on the floor. The only thing I would say about that is that she wasn't ever able to stop co sleeping and is struggling now because she's got a co sleeping 3yo and newborn twins! Pretty extreme example I know. Just ideally have it so your little one is happy to sleep with you or your dad maybe, if you go down that route.

Thank you everyone so much.
You'll see the timing of my OP that it was posted through streaming tears in the middle of the night.

It's amazing what sleep deprivation can make you feel and unsurprising it's a form of torture - but also amazing what a few half decent night's and the solidarity of other mums saying "been there, it's shit but it will eventually improve" can do!

Hang in there @WingingIt101 get DH to take charge in the morning where possible so you can catch up on sleep. We now alternate "breakfast club" so it's not always me getting up at silly o'clock after a disturbed night. It won't be long till you can run your wee one ragged during the day to tire them out.

Just to say there is a viable alternative to controlled crying or co sleeping.

We did the gradual withdrawal / retreat method and whilst longer it was very effective.