2 year old and his 4:30 wake ups

[Mazzatron]

Our DS is 2 years and 2 months old. When he was about 20 months he started waking at 4:30. He's still doing it.
We have tried adjusting bed time, nap time, his sleep environment, making sure he is busy with lots of fresh air in the day etc.

He has also been fighting naps like mad recently. He takes a good 30 mins to fall asleep for naps but then will generally sleep for at least 1.5 - 2 hours.

4 days ago we decided to drop the nap (since it's always such a battle) and see if that meant he got more sleep at nighttime and woke up a bit later than 4:30. It's day 4 and he's still up at 4:30.

Just wondered if people think we are doing the right thing?! He's coping fairly well in the day, he keeps going but he does look really tired and a bit more emotional that usual. I have read it could take 1-2 weeks to settle into a new pattern.

Has anyone else done this? Are we doing the right thing? I'm 29 weeks pregnant and working part time I just can't get up at 4:30 every day, it's getting really hard. He's always been an early riser but more like 5:30 which is much more acceptable.

Just to add - when he wakes up he starts chatting for a bit, looks at a book and the toys in his cot. We ignore this but he soon gets bored and descends into really loud, OTT screaming and most days does a poo which we can't ignore.

Also he was going to bed around 6:45. Since dropping the nap we've made it earlier to compensate (6-6:30) and the plan was to make this later once he starts waking later.

My 3 year old has just started doing until around 6.30/6:45... we had 4.30/4.45 for a good while then 5..then 5.30... dropped his nap about 2 too!

Lots of fresh air and exercise helped and doing 2 full days at nursery!

We actually slept in last week until 7:40 (I ended up just making it to work on time!).

My advice: take it turns to get up, even through the week.. if ds will come in your bed and snuggle the doze will help you...put the tv on for him and snooze too (obviously assuming your living room is childproof!).

It's hard but it will pass!

I feel you OP. My DS is 2.5 and it's between 4 and 4:30 every morning and always has been! It's awful but I'm hoping when he starts nursery in September he will start sleeping better!

Thanks @Mammyloveswine @and @BeautySleep

It's so hard I'm so flipping tired and we have tried everything!!! I'm sorry you have the same problems but at least there is some solidarity in knowing we aren't alone.

I definitely feel like people don't get why I can't get him to go back to sleep at that hour but he is pumped and ready to go.

I'm 30 weeks pregnant too which doesn't help.

Will muddle through but this is aging me very swiftly!

I was just about to start a similar thread! Mine is 2.5 and doing the same thing. I am on my knees.

I don't have practical advice but just want to say you aren't alone, we went through this too last year when DS was around 16 months, it seemed to last forever, I was also pregnant at the time so I feel your pain! We tried everything, different nap times, shorter naps, longer naps, earlier bed times, later bed times...eventually it just settled down and now he is 2.5, no nap and whilst not an amazing sleeper will usually be up no earlier than 7 now- hang in there it does get better!x

I’m not an expert on nap dropping but 6pm is an early bedtime and by 4.30 he’s already had 10.5 hours sleep. I don’t think he’ll start waking later spontaneously, you may need to gradually push the bedtime back to encourage later waking. If he’s only just dropped his nap then it might take a while for him to be able to make it beyond 6pm though.

Another option is that you keep the nap but push it slightly later and wake him after 45 mins. Most kids seem to have a halfway house between no nap and a 1.5-2 hour nap, my DD has just started doing 40-60 mins which is enough to refresh her and get her through to a 7.15pm bedtime. She will generally then make it until at least 6-6.30 and sometimes later.

I think 430 is not unusual, sadly, but I would not get rid of a nap, I would keep the nap and make bedtime later.

But sometimes nothing works so try not to expect too much!!

Came on here to find a magic answer as our 2.5 yo got up at 4.30am this morning, having been up twice in the night. She obviously needs more sleep, she was rubbing her eyes at 6am but fights it continuously or uses dummy sucking or kicking against nearby items, such as her bed rail, to stop her going to sleep. We're on our knees but she's never been a later sleeper. Latest was 6.50am once, when she'd been up for 90 minutes in the night.

We have a school age sibling so can't do CIO as he needs his sleep but I need to drive to work and nursery so need to reliably get longer than 3 hours sleep in a block. What if it doesn't "get there" until she's at school? Return to nursery in June had no effect (we had a July holiday where she started the day at 3.30am) and we're trying to take her out every non-nursery day to yet another park. none of it is having an effect. Sigh. We're on our knees. You're definitely not alone OP.

I say keep the nap but limit it to an hour or so and a later bedtime. My youngest is the same age and gets up at 7:30 has a nap after lunch 12:30ish for about an hour and then goes to bed 7:30-8. Lots of fresh air and exercise helps with the sleeping which isn't easy at the moment and I'm not pregnant!

I spoke to the health visitor yesterday and she really couldn't suggest anything we haven't tried. For the past 3 days we brought back a 1 hour nap and bedtime is 7, he's asleep by 7:30. He was up at 4 the first 2 days and today has been up since 3:45.

I absolutely cannot cope with it. Yesterday he went to a play park for an hour in the morning, he did painting, loads of structured character play with daddy, music and singing / dancing, read quite a few books, jigsaws, the out for 1.5 hour in the afternoon on a dog walk. I think that's quite a bit of fresh air and stimulation.

We are trying so hard. I don't just plop him in front of tv all day.

Any new approach you need to give a few weeks before changing again.

I'm sorry it is so exhausting just now, you are such a kind parent to still do all these nice activities when you are shattered. You should try to have a nap when they have a nap just for your sanity!

My DS did exactly the same. Started this time last year when he was 2.5, although he'd dropped his nap much earlier than yours.

I put him into a double bed so when he woke up at 4:30 I'd get in with him and let him watch something on the iPad for a bit while I dozed. I put his old cot mattress on the floor in case he fell out, but he never did.

I never managed to change it. Tried a gro clock but that's never made any difference. For a long time he'd wake up during the night as well so I'd often end up in bed with him before he woke up anyway. His younger brother was a baby and not sleeping through, so I sympathise with your tiredness.

He's 4 in July and has been pretty reliable for a while now. He never wakes during the night and is usually up at 5-5:30. Sometimes nods off in the car if we've had a busy day and has a little nap but that doesn't seem to affect his night sleep anymore.

In the end, I just accepted it for what it was and made life as easy as possible for myself, hence the double bed and the iPad. I do get him out for lots of fresh air and exercise, but to be honest even that doesn't seem to follow a particular pattern and it can be hard with the weather being so sporadic.

It's hard being pregnant with a toddler though, mine are 20 months apart so I sympathise.