3 month old bedtime

[AmieB]

Hi guys, so for a while now we have been trying to put our 3 month old upstairs to bed. With our daughter from very early on she always had bath, bottle, bed at 7pm and it worked fine, so when our son was born we started doing the same thing but he just won't have it! We've tried putting him to bed at 6:30pm, 7pm, 8pm and every time he either refuses to sleep or will sleep for a few minutes before waking up and crying. Just wondered what everyone else's routine at 3 months was, and am I doing something wrong??
He naps roughly every 60-90 mins during the day and self settles, bedtime routine has also been consistent from day 1. Right now we do the bedtime routine and take him back downstairs where he sleeps no problem until we go to bed, he just won't sleep upstairs in his bed!!
Thank you

He's supposed to be with you for sleep periods until he's 6 months old so I'd leave him downstairs sleeping until you go up to bed

I'm aware of the sids guidelines, but we didn't keep our daughter downstairs with us and we have a baby monitor/sensor pad in his bed so can keep an eye on him x x

I have a 3yr old and a 3month old, my eldest is bath, book bed by 7pm, my youngest is starting to form a vague pattern: sits feeding on and off downstairs until 9/10pm and then we both go to bed. The idea that a 3 month old will sleep like a preschooler is ludicrous to me.

My daughter did it from around 8 weeks old and even to this day is a brilliant sleeper. Reading alot of discussions on here it seems the norm so I didn't think it was odd 🤔 I have no problem with him staying downstairs with us, he's no bother as he just sleeps but I just wondered where I was going wrong 😀

A monitor and sensor pad is no substitute for being in the same room. We kept our 2 downstairs with us until going up to bed ourselves.

All babies and children are different. You're not doing anything wrong, except going against SIDS guidelines which you've acknowledged, you're just expecting too much of a tiny baby.

@dementedpixie

A monitor and sensor pad is no substitute for being in the same room. We kept our 2 downstairs with us until going up to bed ourselves.

This.

If you read up a bit OP, you will realise that the same room thing is not solved with a good monitor.

FYI OP I’m defo not a co sleeping at 4yrs old MN mum- but I kept my eldest with me until about 6 months then sometimes bed before me, sometimes not. Sleep trained around 8 months and is a great sleeper on the whole. So don’t worry about keeping them with you at night at this age will mean bad sleep habits it doesn’t.

Wow talk about mum shaming, I'd never even think of questioning something another mum was doing in the way these comments are. I'm fully aware of the sids guidelines as mentioned and have a lovely healthy 2.5 year old that I have always done my best by. Same as I am with my son ... I was purely just wondering if anyone else does bath bottle bed by 7pm with their 3 month old and if so am I doing anything different. Reading on plenty of other mumsnet discussions it's not unheard of at all, I just couldn't find the answer.

I don’t think it’s shaming to point out that the thing you are asking for help to do isn’t actually a good idea? The SIDS guidelines are there for a reason and the fact that your first child was ok is kind of irrelevant.

It sounds like your son sleeps well downstairs anyway so no need to change anything yet.

My baby cluster feeds till 9pm when finally she will go down for the night, if I put her in her cot before then she will wake on and off till 9pm so I just sit upstairs on my bed watching stuff on my phone and hope she naturally moves her bedtime forward. I think it's because I used to go to bed at 9 in pregnancy so that's her natural still time

Not mum shaming. Babies are all different and just because one slept perfectly at an early age doesn't mean another one will. You are choosing to ignore sids guidelines and that's up to you.

I didn't even do bath every night at that age. They didn't go upstairs to bed by themselves until they were older and got more disturbed downstairs with us.

No one was mum shaming.

You clearly don't know the guidelines.

Fully aware of the guideline, but that's what they are -a guide, not the law. It's each mums own decision, same as those that use sleepyhead, don't follow co sleeping advice, wean before 6 months etc etc.
I have searched countless times on here 3 month bedtime routines and its really not uncommon for 3 month olds to be upstairs in bed for 7pm, I would link a few threads for example but can't be bothered. I purely posted for advice, not backlash. First Post and last 😶

@AmieB

Wow talk about mum shaming, I'd never even think of questioning something another mum was doing in the way these comments are. I'm fully aware of the sids guidelines as mentioned and have a lovely healthy 2.5 year old that I have always done my best by. Same as I am with my son ... I was purely just wondering if anyone else does bath bottle bed by 7pm with their 3 month old and if so am I doing anything different. Reading on plenty of other mumsnet discussions it's not unheard of at all, I just couldn't find the answer.

I think people are trying to point out the reason for the guidelines. They are not so you notice that your baby has stopped breathing but to prevent your baby from stopping breathing. Being in the room with an adult reduces the number of babies who die in their sleep. If you are going down the route of leaving your baby by themselves and relying on a sense to tell you they have stopped breathing then you may want to brush up on infant CPR so you can try and do something about it if it happens rather than just known it has happened.