22mo who won't sleep in his cot at night - please help!!

[Jill77]

I'm wondering if anyone can offer some advice. My 22mo has always been a bad sleeper, but about 6 weeks ago he started sleeping through the night and I really thought we had turned a corner finally. We all felt so much better for getting some sleep at night and he was a much happier toddler during the day too. However, 2 weeks ago he suddenly decided that he would not go in his cot and just screamed and screamed if we put him in there - I left him over an hour but I just gave up then and let him come in with us (I know - making a rod for my own back!) We've now got to the stage where we can manage to settle him in his cot at about 8pm each evening - as long as we stay in the room with him - but then he will wake up anytime between 11pm and 1am and just screams non-stop. He doesn't stop when we pick him up and the only place he is happy eventually is in our bed with us!! But even then he can take a while to settle. He's getting to the stage where he is trying to climb out of his cot if we leave him there and I really hate leaving him screaming for long periods. I really don't know what to do to try and get him to settle in his cot and room - we are all constantly so tired. I work full time plus have just found out I am pregnant again, so am totally exhausted. I feel at the end of my tether and seem to spend most nights with my head under my pillow crying! I feel completely hopeless and can't seem to see any light at the end of the tunnel. Can anyone offer any advice from their experience?

could you try him in his own proper bed rather than the cot? We moved dd to a bed around that age as she was very unsettled in her cot. It took a few nights but she was fine with the move and settled a lot better.

I was going to suggest a bed too. If you got a four foot bed (big single) you could squeeze in too if need be. I'm looking for one now for my DD (14 months and has never really liked her cot)

Thanks. Yes I might try that - I suppose my concern was that he would then just get straight up and come and join us! He just seems to work himself up in to such a state that I worry that I won't be able to get him back to his room - but I suppose I won't know unless I try! I like the idea of a big single as I'm sure it would help if we could get in with him. Are there any tips for how you make the move from cot to bed as easy as possible?

I'm not sure as my DD is so much younger and so the transition hasn't been a problem at all. I'm currently using a matress from a sofa bed on the floor hence why I'm looking for a proper mattress which again I'll use on the floor rather than a bed at the moment as it's not as far to fall if she rolls off. You could try the same although if you're heavily prg you might not fancy getting up and down. I put cushions or pillows around. Make sure room is safe and put a stair gate on or close the door. In order to get her to sleep I lay with her but you could sit by the bed or whatever you're used to. Either DH or myself pop in alongside her when she wakes in the night. If we can be bothered we get out again when she's asleep but generally stay there all night and live in hope that one day she'll just do it on her own.

I would move into a bed too. I put a spare duvet on the floor in case they roll out instead of using a bed guard, as my children seem to try and climb over one which is even worse to fall from.
You are probably exhausted being in early pg, so if it means you all get a good nights sleep then let him come in with you short term. (please don't shoot me for saying that!) i have co- slept with all of mine for varying lengnths of time mainly for that reason! It doesn't last forever. My little ds3 is 21 months and he goes off to sleep in with dd1. I then move him into his bed and he usually goes through rhe night then, but if he does wake up he comes in with us!
I am lucky though as my dh doesn't mind them all in with us ( I know that some do!) and he gets up at 4 am anyway to go and milk the cows, so there's more room then anyway.
I guess what I am trying to say is that you have to do what works for you. Good luck.
hth