Tried everything?

[FTEngineerM]

Any final tips from the MN oracle before we loose our minds?

DC hasn’t slept for more than one sleep cycle, whether that be the daytime 45 minute or night time 1.5-2 hours, since 4m old and we’re broken. Mostly me now because I’m 8 weeks pregnant and the hormones are making me want to sleeeeeeep.

We paid a sleep consultant and had 1 month of follow up help and they couldn’t help, none of their tricks like white noise/stopping feeding to sleep work.

We even started trying controlled crying and it was just awful, DC was in hysterics purple crying, shaking and coughing before we’d even left the room which just escalates for the minute you’re gone.

So we’ve tried:

Stopping feeding to sleep.
Stopping rocking to sleep.
Stopping co sleeping.
Controlled crying.
Stopped breastfeeds overnight.
Doesn’t like white noise.
Regular bed time and wake up time.
2 or 3 naps in day depending on how long they are.

Since sleep consultant his naps are more predictable and his bedtime to far less stressful and regular BUT nobody seems to be able to help him stay asleep or self settle back into the next cycle. We can help him by preemptively patting his bum from 40 minutes into a nap until 50 minutes then he’s into the next cycle and we stop.

What else can we do?

This was us with DS1. Just awful isn't it. We did Andrea grace gentle sleep solution. Never feeding him before x time of night once we knew he wasn't hungry for 2 then 3 then 4 hours though water offered of course. Gradually withdrawal but not left to cry. It took a couple of weeks and I think focusing on lunch nap sleep cycle being more than 45 mins was really helpful. It is brutal. 8-10m is classic time for bad sleep too. Ds3 is just entering this phase...

I feel your pain op, have been there with 2 terrible sleepers. I wonder whether you've been consistent enough. You said you did controlled crying for 1 night and it wasn't for you. If that's still your position then I think you need to look at gradual retreat. You need to gradually reduce the amount of assistance you're giving your little one to go to sleep in the first place and stay there. You mentioned bum patting helps. So first step reduce the patting. Move to a place you can just sit with them. Then start sitting further and further away. Over weeks. This isn't necessarily a quick method. It also doesn't guarantee no tears. My honest view is that it wound my two up more, but they're all different.