19 month old 5am waking

[pancakes22]

Hi all
For the past month my DS has taken to waking up at 5am and it's killing me!! This has tied in with me night weaning him and so currently we do one feed before bed and then one in the morning. If he wakes in the night then he will easily go back down with a cuddle or a pat on the back however as soon as it clicks onto 5:00am he just screams and screams and screams. If I try and hold him he is stretching out his back and leaning back away from me. Screams louder if I try and sing night time songs to get him back down etc and basically just has a huge tantrum. I have tried to persevere to get him to know that it's not time to get up yet but I end up walking around trying to comfort him for an hour and then thinking well it's 6am now so probably time for him to get up anyway and so he ends up getting what he wants with either some milk in bed or bringing him downstairs for tv. I don't know what to do because I understand that some will say he's learning that if he screams he gets what he wants with milk or tv but also, if he's screaming until 6 or 6.30 then surely I need to start the day at some point! Others may say stop the morning feed but again I'm not sure what to do with that because surely he's going to be hungry and thirsty in the morning and at what point do I then give him some. I'm just really confused what to do to help him sleep in longer. I never had this early waking with my older DD. Any advice?

Mine is 20 months ad doing the same so watching with interest. She doesn't have food in the night, just dinner at 5ish, bed 7pm and then up at 5ish - it's killer! What I've read so far (if they're no teething or ill) is if they won't won't back down to sleep, take them downstairs but make it super boring (no TV or fun basically) and don't give them food until the time they usually would have it (so for us it would be 7am). I don't understand how to make it boring though! She'll just have a tantrum if she can't play with anything and she doesn't want to read books! I've no idea what to do too so you're not alone!

Apologies for the spelling mistakes - very tired!

Have you tried giving them some supper right before bedtime?

My DS has been a 5am Waker for a year, I think we’ve just started going to bed an hour earlier and it makes it easier for him to have a nap. The days he wakes later he won’t nap til later then won’t go to bed for the night till later

My daughter did this so you had my sympathy. Nothing made a difference so I had a year of waking up at that time, until she eventually slept longer. We just used to go downstairs and she'd play happily while I watched tv.

My son did this around a similar age. It lasted a month or two, then he clicked in with a 7-7 sleep that's lasted about 3-4 months now! We just pushed through it. The only change I made was to buy him a groclock so I could go in if he woke early, give him a cuddle, point at the stars and say that the sun wasn't up yet so he had to sleep. No idea if this is what helped but I'm not curious - just pleased he now sleeps through!

Try a Gro clock.
We had the same problem with DS. I thought he might be too you for a gro clock at 19 months but we introduced it at that age, and it worked brilliantly.

*too young

Both of mine did this. There wasn't anything wrong, they were just fully rested and ready for the day at 5am. Neither of them have ever slept 12 hours overnight. Tbh I found all of the online advice about how all children should magically sleep from 7pm - 7am and the only thing you have to do is feed them porridge and put them to bed earlier(!) dispiriting. They just don't need that much sleep (I've always been fine with 6-7 hours of sleep a night, so maybe it's genetic 🤷‍♀️)

The only solution I found was to reduce naps and put them to bed later. Bedtime is 8pm in our house - my 2 year old is asleep by 8:30 (no naps), my 4 year old falls asleep sometime between 9 and 9:30pm. They both wake at 7am on the dot, fully refreshed.

My DS needed about 11 hours at night at that age, bedtime was 7.45pm and he'd wake up around 6.30-7am. He still had a nap though. Didn't drop it until around 2y10m.

sending sleepy vibes to you all! at least we are not alone! Thank you for your supportive messages.

Thats really interesting that a few people say about a gro clock already. @namechange30 I too thought it would be too young for him but maybe it is worth giving it a go.

Porridge before bed sounds a good idea, il try that thank you. It is always milk he's after when he wakes so maybe he's hungry, or maybe it's just comfort as it's breastfeeding 🤷‍♀️

@Squashpocket he currently has 1.5 hours nap during the day. Do you think reduce that down to an hour to see what happens or even less than that?

I've just stopped breastfeeding my DS who has just turned 2. Now I can't feed him to sleep he won't go down before 9/10 pm an gets up every day at 5am! He shares a room with his sister so they are both up all hours.

If I can get him to sleep in my bed until 7 he won't have a nap so I'm stuck. He just doesn't seem to need much sleep

I think I got more sleep when I was feeding him to sleep every 3 hours!

This is just my experience obviously and all children are different, but if he's waking up happy and fresh as a daisy at 5am, ready to start the day, then I would assume that he's just doesn't need as much sleep as you'd hope.

You know your child best, so if you tend to find he's desperate for his afternoon nap, maybe don't reduce the nap and put him down for a later bedtime. But if he's not super desperate, reduce the nap by half an hour and keep bedtime the same. Keep adjusting until you find a schedule you're happy with.

Most important thing I found was to give any change at least a week to work, maybe even 2. It is easy to change bedtime/nap time, it is not easy to change wake up time. Apparently they're basically 2 totally different biological processes - bedtime tiredness is linked to daytime activity levels and wake up time is managed by the body's internal circadian rhythm, so it takes time to change. Knowing that helped me through the rough patches!

DS went through a 5am waking phase, but thankfully he never cried, so I just left him. 6.30am is our get up time. He’d just play with his teddies and doze, and chatter to himself etc. This started at the onset of winter so we bought a small oil radiator which kept the room a good temperature all night, and I don’t know if it was just the passing of the phase or because he was warmer, but he soon started going through to 6am.

He’s asleep by 7 and wakes at about 6ish now, with a 2 hour nap at lunchtime (1 hour on nursery days)

Similar age dd doing exactly the same
Op, I’ve started night weaning aswell. Dd has milk after her bath and then falls asleep without, but wants feeding during the night. I try not to until 5ish, then sometimes get another half hour snooze...