Hi I’m looking for some advise this is my first time posting so please don’t make me feel worse than I already do!
My baby is a few weeks old and BF he has slept like a little dream untill the past week he is using me for sleeping father than feeding which Iknow is normal!! I bf my first son who done this also except.. my toddler has additional needs among other things which resulted in me having to teach him to self soothe because we couldn’t co-sleep in hospitals which is still a regular occurrence. I have tried to introduce a dummy as I can’t have baby using me to sleep for a few reasons like ended up in hospital and not being able to comfort my toddler at any time etc especially during the pandemic as my son is sheilding and high risk so the fear is there more so! I’ve read so many threads and books and Iknow letting a baby cry is horrible as I hated doing it with my toddler but I had no choice in the matter so this time I’m trying to stop bad habits before they start so it doesn’t come to that! I’m letting him shout/moan for a couple of minutes and he does settle really fast but the noise is a sensory issue for my toddler so I have tried a dummy but I am popping it back in every few minutes especially at night and all I have done is cry because I feel like I’ve failed because I’m trying to give him a dummy or he is having to have a cry for a few minutes (my son can’t walk/talk etc so needs me a lot also as he doesn’t understand me asking him to wait a few minutes etc) he also has a routine and has always followed a perfect routine of it’s thrown off his whole week can be thrown off, he’s such a content wee boy so I’m trying to keep everything as normal as possible but I feel like I’m being such a horrible mummy to my newborn and my partner is trying him hardest to support me but doesn’t understand why I’m so upset over the dummy/crying situation, please don’t make me feel worse any advise though I’ll take !xx