Long lunchtime nap - is it a myth?

[Penny13720]

Please can someone save my sanity...

Following a number of routines and all say how important it is to get the long lunchtime nap in. DD is 6.5 months and 90% of the time can only manage a 30 minute nap. Especially at lunchtime.

She just can’t seem to link the sleep cycles. I spend ages trying to resettle her, and I can see her trying to get back to sleep but she just screams blue murder.

I then have to put in a catch up nap at 4 but she screams for that too and is becoming increasingly harder to get to sleep. Some days she just won’t do it, so we end up with a 6pm bedtime.

Am I obsessing over this too much? Will she just do it in her own time? Does this nap even really exist for some babies?!

Both mine had lovely long lunchtime naps but not at 6.5mths. They were still on several 30/40 mins naps at that age. Nearer to a year they went to one long nap.

My DD only has 30 min naps with me, but she's just gone to nursery (at 13 months) and miraculously sleeps for over an hour there.

I spent ages trying to lengthen naps, then came to the conclusion that it wasn't worth the stress. She seems happy with short naps at home, so I let her get on with it.

But I did nearly throttle an NCT friend who complained about being bored when her DD slept for 3hs straight at about 6 months.

At that age my DS could only manage a longer nap if he was being held by me, or if he was in the sling or the pram. The movement helped him to get back to sleep if he started to wake up. He did eventually start having a longer nap in his cot but it wasn't until much later - maybe around 10/11 months? Even then it was never very long. It wasn't until he dropped to one nap at around 14 months that he started having a decent length lunchtime nap.

I can never quite remember the ages but both mine did have relatively long lunch time naps but it was a LOT easier and more consistent with DD than with DS and DS' didn't last for very long so I think it really does depend on the child.

If you think your baby really really wants that long nap, think about what you're doing before. I do know that about that age DD (who was always an enthusiastic sleeper) was waking at around 6:30/7 and was down for her first nap by 9 at the latest, often as early as 8:30 (I remember this very clearly as we had to adjust our school run routine as she would NOT sleep in a pram but by the time we got home from school run with her it was 9:15 and too late). This was usually a fairly short nap but could go to 1.5 hours. She'd then be up for a maximum of 2 hours before going down for her "lunchtime" nap which was usually a long one.

My point being that her lunch time nap started before 12:00 and followed an earlier nap so my advice is to consider whether the lunch time nap is starting too late and as a result she's over tired and can't stay asleep. Which was almost always the problem for both of my children, even though they shared almost nothing in terms of sleep patterns.

Urgh it’s so tough I feel for you.

My youngest was like this - through the night as well which was a killer particularly as his older brother had been an amazing sleeper before him. I think it was between 12-18 months things kicked into place now he’s such a 12 hour a night, 2-3 hour lunch napper. I didn’t do anything to achieve this btw, just endured the bad days and eventually he got it.

6 months is a bit early for a lunchtime nap. By 8 months, mine were doing a mid morning and mid afternoon nap, and didn’t switch to a long afternoon nap till well after 1.

At that age mine could only stay asleep in the day if in a moving pram. LOTS of long walks that year.

Around 14 months old the joy of the long after lunch nap was discovered. That was lovely but obviously only temporary.

I feel for you. Every baby is different and the books are not about your baby. We each just muddle on through.

Long nap in the cot usually comes later than 6 months.
I would walk or hold mine to get a long nap at that age.

Not until 16 months old for me . It was going to nursery ( at that age ) which helped . He started doing 2 mornings and so stayed awake until 1 pm . He is 2 and generally sleeps 1-3. Although he is still a pain in going for it refuses cot screams blue nurse and will keep getting off the bed if I try to get to sleep there. So I have to put him In the cot for approx 5-10 minutes sadly he does cry but then I bring him into bed with me abs he has 2 hours nap then no problem

Thanks all for your comments.

She has a 9am nap, and she usually wakes at about 9:30/40 and then she goes down at 12:30 for the lunchtime nap.

Haha @Zarinea what the hell was she on?! 3 hour nap is the dream!

Thanks @Triffid1 perhaps I could try nudging it forward.

I just hate her crying when it’s not necessary, but I bought one of these sleep plans and I’m desperate for her to sleep through the night. She did it three nights in a row last week - gave us a taste of the good life but now is not so keen!

Mine all used to be like this. Then they got to around 9/10 months and their lunchtime naps all increased to around 1.5/2 hours.

All 3 prior to that woke after 45 mins. It does pass ime

Put her in the pram at 12.30 and go on a 40 minutes walk - when you get home she should stay asleep.

Once they got past the newborn sleeping all the time stage, mine didn't manage long naps again until they were down to one nap a day, just before 1 year old.

It’s a but early at 6.5 months I think. It’s when they drop to the one nap that the lunchtime one becomes a real thing. My DD is 9.5 months and still has 2 naps so a morning and afternoon- usually under 1hr each (range 30 mins to 1.25 hrs). When they get closer to/ past 1y the morning nap and afternoon nap sort of merge into one nice big nap after lunch.

You find yourself wondering just how early you can give them lunch so that you can put them down!

DS was a 30-minute napper, 20 minutes if I was super lucky. Always. It got slightly better when I put him in his cot for all naps, and I eventually managed to get him from 4 naps a day to 3 naps. But honestly he was 10 months before he started having any sort of longer nap. I thought I would literally NEVER see the day that he would ever have one long lunchtime nap.
We then spent a long time on 2 naps, both 45 minutes each, and then suddenly and of his own accord he started having a longer nap on the morning, up to an hour and then a slightly shorter one on the afternoon.
At 15 months he fussed over his PM nap and so we dropped it, and after a couple of weeks and quite suddenly and gloriously he started sleeping for 2 hours 11.30-1.30. In fact he’s still asleep right now.

I always go home for his nap so he can have it in his cot, because honestly I spent so much of him being a baby having absolutely no break whatsoever, that i make the most of this magnificent downtime!

I was always envious of other mums whose babies were having long pram naps while they sat and drank a cuppa in peace but quite honesty DS has always been a good night sleeper so it’s swings and roundabouts! At least I had the energy to deal with him most of the time ha!

I feel your pain. I’d recommend naps in the cot in their sleeping bag, or however they normally sleep, i do genuinely believe that led to him lengthening his naps. On nursery days he still only ever has an hour in a pushchair, so I do think it makes a difference.

My eldest was a year old before he napped for longer than half an hour at a time. My youngest did it from birth. Didn't do much different for either.

If it makes you feel any better, I don't think naps make any difference to their sleep at night. Both of mine slept through from three months despite the difference in naps.

@Penny13720

Thanks all for your comments.

She has a 9am nap, and she usually wakes at about 9:30/40 and then she goes down at 12:30 for the lunchtime nap.

Haha @Zarinea what the hell was she on?! 3 hour nap is the dream!

Thanks @Triffid1 perhaps I could try nudging it forward.

I just hate her crying when it’s not necessary, but I bought one of these sleep plans and I’m desperate for her to sleep through the night. She did it three nights in a row last week - gave us a taste of the good life but now is not so keen!

Yup, I can only speak for DD and our experience but at that age, DD would have been sooooo overtired if she'd been awake from 9:40 or so until 12:30 and would have been really fussy. We literally would just notice whatever time she woke up and no more than 2 hours later, down she would go again (she didn't believe in sleep cues). At this age they really can't be awake for more than 2 hours, especially in the first part of the day (which is weird, but DH was always banging on about sleep begetting sleep so...)

[as a side note, she's much more flexible now and can sometimes stay up and will sleep in later in the morning etc but it never ceases to amaze me how even at 6 years old, if she's over tired it takes her so much longer to fall asleep. She sleeps well no matter what, but get the moment right and she'll drift off quickly and probably sleep a bit longer too in total. I am actually very similar.]

Yes it works for some babies, but doesn't work for others like anything else.
I know it's hard not to obsess when you are living through it, but jist go with the flow. Honestly, people spend far too much time getting themselves worked up about these things and they change within a few months.

From about 14 months to 2.5yo. What a glorious time.

At 6.5mo she was still only having short naps, usually on me, buggy if I was lucky!

Nephew did, and continued until after 3. DS only ever needed 90 min max after 1yo or bedtime was hell and no naps at all after 2yo.