“Bad” sleep habits - which to fix first??

[Tier500]

My 12 week old always feeds to sleep, unless she’s in the sling, and will only nap in my arms or in the sling.

We cosleep at night and she will feed to sleep then as well.

I really need her to sleep in her cot (next2me) now for naps and night sleep as it’s impacting on my relationship with my toddler and mental health - she’s attached to me all day and night and won’t even tolerate my DH for more than a few mins.

How do I work on this? Should I start by trying to put her down once she’s already asleep (ie keep feeding her to sleep for now) or do I start breaking the feed to sleep association and rock her or something before then trying to put her in cot asleep? Or should I put her in the cot awake?! And when she inevitably wakes up when I do this, do I keep trying or just give in and have a go at next nap time?

Atm she wakes bolt upright as soon as she’s out of my arms, even when she goes to DH and even when I think she’s deeply asleep so I’m really at a loss. Any advice welcome!

I have a 10 week old ds and learning as I’m going along as I’m a ftm. The only advice I can give you is what Ive been doing so far... we got a sleep nest which helped transition him from our bed to his next to me and we use a white noise machine for night sleep. Warm up where your going to place her so it’s not so much of a shock being out of your arms.

As for naps, I’ve been trying every day putting him down drowsy and awake hand on chest, patting shushing, it works sometimes but go with your instinct whether to keep trying or try another time if it’s too stressful for you and baby. Yes he sleeps longer in my arms but I think if I introduce him more sleeping out of my arms the more he’ll get used to it. In the day I usually feed him when he wakes up rather than feed to sleep.

This is me with my 10 week old right now! His sleep patterns are pretty consistent but the major issue is that he will mainly only nap in sling / baby carrier / my arms with LOTS of rocking and shushing. At night he will only sleep in the next2me for a couple of hours max at the start of the night whereas he'll sleep for hours with me. I don't know how to get him to sleep for longer in his cot and tbh I don't have the energy for constant picking up and putting back down when it gets to the wee hours!

I have had some success when he is FAST asleep putting him in the cot, with white noise on and a cot vibrater. He can go a couple of hours but after that he will only go down again for short periods, and it's not successful every night. My DH keeps trying to put him down sleepy but awake, but at the mo there's no chance... it's a bit over ambitious right now.

I'm hoping if we persevere with putting him down he'll get used to it, but it's exhausting!!