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Coping with exhaustion

9 replies

cosmikdebris · 31/01/2021 10:31

It's literally making me unwell, at least that's how it feels.
My 7mo sleeps at night, but wakes up once for food and will wake up another 2 or 3 times for a resettle, which can sometimes take up to an hour.
I will go to sleep when she does around 9pm, awake for food around 12-1am and again every 2 or 3 hours after that. I've never been a deep sleeper, I used to sleep around 10 hours because it took me so long to get into a deep sleep, and that wouldn't last long.
My partner is useless. He looked after baby a lot over the first 2 months while I recovered, and I struggled with my mental health early on (I still do, but it's easier to cope when I'm not healing from birth lol)
He stays up all night playing games and watching films because 'he doesn't get any time to himself in the day'. I can't remember the last time I got time to myself...
I look after the baby pretty much all day. He will take her while I cook or need to clean or go to the bathroom, but that's it. He will also take her for a walk in the evening to settle her to sleep, but by then I'm to tired to do anything.
Even on days when baby sleeps in late, I'm still exhausted. He complains he's tired because he stayed up late, but refuses to go to sleep earlier because he "needs his me time". It's honestly infuriating and he won't listen when I say I'm struggling, because he uses his argument of "well I looked after her for the first two months, now it's your turn".

I just don't know how to cope, I'm constantly grumpy and irritated, I feel dizzy and faint all day, I feel like my eyesight is going. I can't ever think straight and it's impossible to do a good job with baby when I'm falling asleep just sitting down

I don't know how to cope anymore, I feel like I'm going insane

OP posts:
LouiseTrees · 31/01/2021 10:37

Tell him that you were recovering for the first two months. You look after her all day. You get no time to yourself either and he can have time to himself in the day because it’s at night when you most need him.

LouiseTrees · 31/01/2021 10:38

Also can you not bubble with anyone else for extra time off during day?

LouiseTrees · 31/01/2021 10:39

Plus 5 months of nights is 2.5 months full time so he’s expired his time excuse of I looked after her for the whole first two months anyway.

cosmikdebris · 31/01/2021 11:13

@LouiseTrees

Also can you not bubble with anyone else for extra time off during day?
We'be already bubbled with his father, who looks after baby for the day every Sunday (today! Can't wait for some chill time😅). My family stopped talking to me a few years back and refuse to speak to me, and I don't have any friends. I guess I just have to keep begging him. He actually looked after baby last night for an hour when she woke up, but I couldn't get back to sleep because they were playing loudly together upstairs (our house is tiny!). But he had a go at me this morning when I asked for help because "he had her last night and that should be celebrated". It's so ridiculous 🙄
OP posts:
Harrysmummy246 · 31/01/2021 13:36

This is a partner problem. He needs a kick up the bum. Feed baby, give to him, go out. For at least an hour

LouiseTrees · 31/01/2021 18:25

Is his father your bubble bubble or you are in the house with him or your childcare bubble ( ie he just takes baby and has no interaction with the adults?

cosmikdebris · 31/01/2021 18:54

@LouiseTrees

Is his father your bubble bubble or you are in the house with him or your childcare bubble ( ie he just takes baby and has no interaction with the adults?
He sees my partner regularly and comes over for tea occasionally, he is also our only childcare. This whole 'bubble' rule is so confusing😅
OP posts:
LondonLovie · 31/01/2021 20:18

Have you considered any gentle sleep training? Sorry to say your DP absolutely needs to step up on this one and share the load here, but I am sure you realise that

Sunsun21 · 31/01/2021 20:22

Contact Homestart and see if someone can come into your home occasionally to give a little support.

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