Is sleep training really necessary?

[Froggles1]

Hi everyone,

Just looking for some thoughts / advice.

My DC is just 3 and still doesn't sleep through. He is not a bad sleeper by any means but he does rely on us to get to sleep & now wakes each night (presumably out of habit) and comes into our bed and goes straight back to sleep.

Our routine is:
Bath at 6, stories in bed around 6:30, then me or my partner alternate lying with him in his bed until he's asleep. Then we tend to have a couple of hours downstairs and he tends to wake anytime from 11pm and get in the middle and goes straight to sleep.

I'm conflicted as a friend said to me a while back that I'd 'have' to do some form of training eventually but I was kinda hoping he'd naturally start sleeping through.

Truth is, I don't mind staying with him while he falls asleep or having cuddles in the night. It's only now & again I think about if we had another it would've harder to do it then as wouldn't want him to feel pushed out. Also a I doing wrong by him by not helping him become more independent at bedtime?

Thoughts appreciated

I guess there is no right and wrong to this, if this works for your family then thAts great. Personally for me I don’t think I could have my child in bed with me every night, if it was happening once a week then fine, I would actually find that cute but not every night but that’s just us. Like you said if you were to have another baby Then that might get a bit much and case problems so it might not be a bad idea to try and nip it in the bud now, good luck!

It’s whatever suits you.

I wouldn’t want it so have been quite strict.

You are being quite natural and doing fine; sleep training is not necessary.

Whatever suits you. We sleep trained early anf have been strict as i don't want DD in our bed but that is me, everyone is different

I didn’t sleep train any of my children. I just did what felt right and that was if they woke up they would come into our bed for a cuddle and stay there until morning. Sometimes they still come in, mainly ds2 who is 8, I will sometimes wake up to find him snuggled into me, it happens less and less the older he gets.

It's never necessary. If you're happy and all getting enough sleep, why change?

If you want to change things, it can be very gentle e.g going from lying with my DS to go to sleep to holding hands while I sat in a chair, to sitting in the chair etc. If he asks fir more, he gets more but now, we alternate nights and it's story, wee and nappy on, tuck in, say night night and leave the room. He often sleeps through, some times doesn't but now that we have that bedtime routine, unless he's had a nightmare or is overtired, if he wakes, we go, tuck back in, say night night and that's it.
One night last week, had to bring him in with me as he was wide awake and otherwise wasn't going back to sleep any time soon.

SOmeone who's pro sleep training will tell you this was gentle sleep training, whereas I'd say it was never forced on him and only when he seemed ready, with a prompt so was it?

We've never actively changed anything apart from interaction at bedtime and even nightweaning was done 'late' and extremely gradually

Totally agree with the above... it's only a problem if it's a problem for you and your child. What "works" for other families shouldn't matter. If you and your family are happy then enjoy - from what I hear it does naturally subside as they get older. The only thing would be as you say if there was another baby but sure you can cross that bridge when/if it becomes an issue? Society really is awful at pressuring everyone to feel like we all must do certain things

At 3, he's old enough to relax in bed on his own and fall asleep.

What would happen if you left him to his own devices at bed time? Would he get upset or just 'not sleep'. If he is happy alone, then just leave him until he falls asleep gradually.