3 month old nigh time sleep

[josiecarrera]

My 3 month old doesn't seem to be able to get into any sort of rhythm for his night time sleep.

We have a consistent bedtime routine:
Bath @ 6.30pm
Feed @ 7pm
Bed @ 7.15-7.30pm (in theory)

However - he just won't go to sleep at 7pm, whatever we try, even if we have a super calm end of bath, dress, feed, story book, lights down, etc..
he'll drop off for 20 minutes but will then just wake up and be super fussy until around 8.50pm when he drops off (this 8.50pm sleep time is very consistent so we have now decided to just let him stay up rather than trying to force sleep earlier). We still keep it calm between 7.30 and 8.50pm when he finally sleeps.

We have started doing a dream feed at 10.30pm but it just doesn't seem to be improving his night time sleep as he will still wake at around 1.30-2.30am (not consistent but some time in this bracket), and then 4.30am-6am (again not consistent).

He had the odd night before we started the dream feed where he would go from 9pm-3am, and then to 6.30-7am. So it almost feels like we have gone backwards.

Any advice would be really useful. Would you drop the dream feed if it doesn't seem to be improving his sleep? Or is it best to keep it so that in future it will help him sleep through until morning? Or any other suggestions?

(Aside from this is eats, and naps well in the day, and napping more or less in the day doesn't seem to affect his night sleep either way).

Hi,

I posted about a similar issue a few weeks ago. I followed the same bedtime routine but my 3MO would wake 30 mins after I put her down and take anywhere from 10-90 mins to resettle.

For the last week I've been doing a much shorter awake time between last nap and bedtime. And it seems to have worked. She was clearly overtired by bedtime, which I should have realised really as she was crying upon getting out the bath.
What's you final nap time?

Thanks for the suggestion. We did actually start doing that about a week ago as I realised it might be over tiredness. It has worked quite well (although he is still a bit inconsistent with his last nap - sometimes 4-5.30pm and then bath at 6.30, sometimes will nod off before his bath. Our day times overall are not routine enough for me to be able to control it - although we are getting there!

The major issue really is the dream feed - it seems to have made his sleep worse so we’re thinking of just stopping it and seeing how well he’ll sleep through without it. He used to go to bed at 9pm and then wake at 2-3am and then some time between 5.30-7am. With the dream feed he’s now waking at 1.30am so I just can’t work out why!!

Any other tips?

That sounds like a very early bedtime for a 3 month old to me. That's the sort of bedtime I would expect for a 6 month old. I would also expect a three month old to wake up at least twice a night so I'm not sure you're doing anything 'wrong'. What are you trying to achieve?

We’re trying to get to one nighttime feed. (I.e. ideally sleeping from 10-11pm to 3am and then 7am. He did it a couple of times few weeks ago so I guess that’s why we are aiming for it.
Perhaps you have answered my question though. It’s so hard when you look online as one site I read said that once they reach 12-13lbs (which he is) they should be able to sleep through the night!
Perhaps we are just over complicating it and should just let him work out his own rhythm.

My first had a consistent 7pm bedtime from 3 months, and my second now does too. But it does sometimes impact the feed times.

My now 3.5 month old was also having one later feed, say 4am and is now having that first feed at 2.30am - even after a dream feed. Realistically they will change when they wake for that feed a lot over the coming months - you've also got the dreaded sleep regression to come! But try dropping the dream feed for a night and see what happens. You can always go back to it if it doesn't work out for you.

My lo also does not sleep soundly until 9pm ish, before then she will go down around 730 but wake every 30 mins for a cluster feed till 9 and then she will sleep soundly. She was sleeping till 7am but that got disturbed recently somehow, but if she wakes for milk it will be around 3am and then 6am.
I would drop the dream feed and see how that goes and keep it dark and calm from 7 ish but accept that the bedtime is more like 850 ish. I'm sure my dd sleeps at 9 because that's the time I went to bed in pregnancy

Wow that’s so interesting. I think I probably went to bed around 9am (bad pregnancy!). I find it interesting how he is so consistently nodding off at 8.50pm every night (I use an app called Baby Tracker which is the most useful record). We are keeping lights dimmed etc but have accepted the later bedtime as I agree he’s too young to be sleeping from 7pm. Just frustrating that we introduced the dream feed. The first time we did it he slept until 4am and then 7am and we were so happy we thought we had nailed it, then the second day and every day since has woken at 1.30, 4/5am and then 7am. Snore.
I think I will take all of your advice and drop the dream feed and see what happens. So many people seems to swear by it so I wanted to introduce it and be consistent but I get the impression we’re just breaking up his long sleep for no benefit.

Your baby sounds completely normal to me and they often progress and regress with sleep. I personally wouldn't expect only one night wake for a few months- that's not to say some babies won't but I don't think your doing anything wrong or that changing anything will necessarily help. Someone with a better sleeping baby may well disagree with me!

Our little one would only drop off around 9/10 o'clock at 3 months, if we put her down any earlier she treated it as a nap and was wide awake after an hour.
I went with a lateish nap then down around 9 or 10. Then started gradually getting earlier, she's now 5 months and goes down at half 7.

My advice would be just to go with it and not stress about what he could or should be doing. With my first I worried so much about her sleep, keeping track of every wake and how long she fed for. Trying to spot patterns of what we did and how it affected her sleep. None if it worked and it just stressed me out.
With my second i just went with it. We had a bedtime routine but if she was clearly not tired at 7 I wouldnt force it. Its hard to do but much less stressful if you just accept theres not much you can do and they'll get there eventually.

That sounds like good sleeping for 12 weeks to me! I feel like a sleeping baby is more down to luck than anything else. You can either keep changing things or just go with it.

It’s so hard when you look online as one site I read said that once they reach 12-13lbs (which he is) they should be able to sleep through the night!

Oh love, that's not how baby sleep works. The reason it feels like it's going backwards is because it is I'm afraid.

The sleep sites and books like to present sleep as this linear thing that starts off rubbish and quickly gets better and better. The reality is more like a wild toddler scribble.

One week they might sleep well, the next week they'll wake up hourly. One night they might do 8hr stretches, the next they'll be up for 3 hours in the night, or deciding that 2am is morning.

When they sleep well, celebrate it and enjoy the moment. When they don't, take solace that it won't be forever. Often there isn't a lot you can do to force the issue unless (when older) you want to go down the sleep training route.

Your baby sleeps pretty well for his age. For what it's worth, with my eldest, we managed to consistently get her down to just a dream and a night feed at your boys age, and felt great about this. Then the firs regression hit and we were up hourly. We were then in a dream and 2 night feeds for the next 6 months (then the dream plus one until 15m). She sleeps through about half of the time now at 3.5...

It's a marathon not a sprint, and your babies sleep sounds perfectly normal I'm afraid.

Well we dropped the dream feed last night he and went to bed at 9pm, woke at 1am,4.45am and now 7.45am. So pretty similar to what he does with the dream feed. So we might just keep skipping the dream feed and let him work his own rhythm out.
My post was more about whether to persevere with the dream feed or just let him work through himself. I guess whatever happens we’ve got the 4 month regression to come!
Our son is very good at settling himself - we always put him to bed awake and he struggles around for 10-15 mins and then nods off. Does this bode well for sleep regression waking or is it all bets off at that stage?

I think my question was more specifically about the dream feed and whether is was a bad idea to drop it, or better to keep it for routine purposes and to eventually help him get to longer sleeping times.

Hi peeps I need help. My 3 month old baby routine has gone backwards and I can't seem to snap him out of it. He use to go bed for 1.30am and sleep through till 8 or 9am. He became unwell and knocked him back. Now he not going to sleep till 4am in the morning and sleeping till 11am morning or 12pm. He stays awake then till about 2pm and sleeps till 7pm. I have tried keeping him awake but he screams the house down as he tired. That upsets me when he like that. I feel I have hit a brick wall with him. I want to get him back to 1.30am bedtime and then slowly make it earlier to maybe 10pm bed time which was what I was trying to do before he became unwell. Any advise would be appreciated. Thank you.