Tell me about your 4/5 month old bedtime routine...

[Marghe87]

I keep reading the holy grail to achieve a good night sleep is ensuring baby is able to go to bed awake and drift off without being rocked or fed etc. I am sure there are babies that are able to do this but it definitely doesn’t seem to be my DD’s case as we have failed miserably every time we tried. Our current routine is: 6pm change into sleepsuit, quick massage with DH with relaxing music and dim lights, into sleeping bag, feed until asleep and then put in tbe cot. She is in the middle of a sleep regression I think and keeps waking up every 10-20 min after being put down. It’s exhausting.
I am considering changing tbe routine slightly so that feeding is not the final part of it but I really really struggle to see how on earth she will be able to fall asleep without bf.
What do you do? Can you share your routines and whether you put your child down awake or not (and also how does the night go?).

Ps: we also give her a bath every other day, just before the massage with DH.

My lo is 4 months. I still swaddle her because she hasn't rolled over yet. I do bath and then breastfeed and then swaddle and pop her down. She used to breastfeed to sleep but now she's a bit bigger, she tends to be awake (but drowsy) at the finish. When I put her down she'll usually have a bit of a grumble (just low level crying) for maybe five minutes and then she'll nod off. I have a white noise machine next to her and the room is pitch black. She wakes once in the night for a feed around 2-3am. She sometimes wakes at other times too but I just play dead in bed and she usually falls back asleep lol!

I do always put her down awake for her naps and her naps are where she sleeps at night so she has a consistent 'sleep' place.

I think swaddling does make it a bit easier for her to settle. I'm hoping we can continue to do it for a few more weeks before we transition out of it. My first was a bit older when we stopped swaddling and he transitioned quite well.

Have you used white noise? Also how quick do you go into settle her if she wakes? I generally will let my Lo grumble (low level cry) for a bit before going in, to give her a chance to settle herself. I never let her get distressed though, but I can recognise now the difference between her having a whinge and her being upset and needing a cuddle.

Not sure if any of that is any use! Hope things get a bit more settled soon for you.

@Aria2015 thank you! We used to swaddle too but stopped a few weeks ago as she was giving signs of rolling over. It has been a fairly painful transition tbh but now seems a little bit more used to the sleeping bag (I think the lack of swaddle doesn’t help but it’s not what is causing the problem as she started waking up a lot before that).
She usually cries a lot when we put her down awake (proper cry) so we have to pick her up immediately. During the night I usually try and pat shush a bit but most pf the times ot just escalates as bf seems the only thing she wants.
I am hoping that by changing the routine I will also gently break the sleep association as I don’t want to do any type of sleep training.
We are exhausted! :)

@Aria2015 also, how does tbe nap routine work for yoh? Seems a dream to put her down awake and let her drift by herself... she only ever naps in the sling!

We moved our feed away from sleep time. Also didn't think it would work but just by holding and cuddling in the dark she knew it was bedtime and went without a fuss. You seem to have a good routine going on and I'm sure from all of that you're little one will click that this is bedtime. We now feed downstairs before the routine starts and then head upstairs to start bedtime, that was she isn't associating feeding within the bedtime routine. But I also think it's one of those things that will get better over time.

@nra1234 may I ask if that also improved the noght wakings for feeding?

Nap routine for us is usually 3 naps (sometimes 4). First nap is after 1 hour 10 mins of awake time. 2nd and 3rd naps are after about 1hour 45 mins of awake time.

All naps are in her next to me cot (which is where she sleeps at night too). I'm breastfeeding and feeding on demand but it's roughly every 3 hours but I do often give her a little feed before a nap as part of our wind down.

I make sure she's in a clean nappy, swaddle her and pop her down. I have the white noise on and the room blacked out. She will sometimes chatter and then nod off, other times she'll have a grumble and then nod off.

Naps are still hit and miss. They can be anything from 30 mins to 3 hours! If she has a bad day of short naps, that's when we end up having 4 naps so she doesn't go too long before bed and get overtired. Most days though we manage on 3 naps.

I did read that it's good to have naps in the same place where they sleep at night but I know some babies prefer to be held or in the sling which obviously makes that difficult.

At 4/5 months we e still very much in the wash and change some time around our dinner, moses basket / arms as required, feed every 3 hours, up to bed with us at 11. That was it

3 month old here currently sitting in pitch black room having set him down for bed.

Last week we were cuddling and feeding to sleep on the sofa getting a nice 3 hour stretch in the morning or afternoon . I was worried about him becoming too dependent on boob so he is now down for naps in his next to me cot . He only usually does 40 mins before he wakes up but it’s very consistent. I try and do this 2 or 3 times a day . Then he will sleep on his carrier on a short walk..

At night we bath , dress , feed , burp , cuddle and bed. If he isn’t fussy we might do a book. My OH discovered he could just lay him down and let him moan for 5 mins and he would fall asleep on his own . No intentional sleep training he just did it. Not sure if we are yet to see the 4 month sleep regression. If he protests we do the pick up and put down method which has worked well.

Oh and we also use white noise machine .

I have a 4.5 month old, as above posted we don't feed straight before bed, usually feed 30 mins before bed and then into sleeping bag and popped in cot, he does moan or chatter a little while but the aim is to put them down when tired and then nod off to sleep.
We haven't sleep trained or anything but it's just how it's fallen.

How do you do your naps? Download the huckleberry app- it's spot on for naps at this age.

Also if he does cry or need reassurance I just cuddle him until he is settled but still awake and then put him down again and repeat that until he's asleep.

I feed to sleep and put him next to me in cot. Then when he wakes feed him to sleep again! And again! 4-5 times a night. He tends to wake up at 4am wanting to play get DH to change his nappy and feed him back to sleep, this usually works. Up for day between 6.30-7am

Do you have something for her to use to settle herself? Comfort blanket, dummy, muslin? Needs to be breathable and not big enough to get tangled round her neck. I used a small square of cellular blanket with satin trim round the edge. Started by feeding DS to sleep whilst wearing blanket in my bra so it smelled of me. Then fed him to sleep with blanket cuddled up to him. Then fed him to drowsy (or woke him up if he fell asleep feeding, sounds bonkers doesn't it!) and put him down to sleep cuddling blanket. Think he was more like 5.5 months by then though but could be worth a try.

I am amazed to read some of you manage to put baby down awake and even read a book. My DD screams the place down if I put her down awake, there is no way we could ever get her to stay calm whilst reading a book!

@YawnyOwl that sounds like us! Yes, DH does the nappy changes but something happens at 4am and she doesn’t seem to be able to feed and drift back at that time (used to do it but not anymore).

Have you tried a dummy?

@Icloud54 yes, she doesn’t always want it and usually spits ot out after a few seconds and doesn’t want it back (cries if I try). I keep trying as I feel it could save us but don’t want to insist too much

Have you done much reading on sleep training methods . We’ve tried to do it a bit here before there and it does seem to be working ish. But I never want to be too smug because it can all change !

Tonight he went down easy then up 40 mins later and wouldn’t settle . Escalated to screaming so I fed to almost sleep. Hate to see him really upset.

Pitch black room and white noise

DS is 5.5 months old, routine is at some point between 18:30 and 19:30:

• nappy off
• cream on / massage (he gets eczema)
• nappy on, sleep clothes, sleep sack
• read the same story
• feed to sleep in bed, then put him down in the sidecar cot (we co-sleep, but the first bit of the evening he's on his own with the monitor)

I've started to introduce a feed before the nappy change, and then the last feed is a top up, as I'd like to get to the point where I'm not feeding him to sleep, but I'm not fussed about rushing to get there - it works, he's happy, I'm happy, no need to force the change.

He usually wakes up after about an hour, and then again at midnight-ish, then 3ish, then 6ish. At 4 months he was waking every hour for a while - that was hell, but he stopped doing it on his own.

I think the majority of sleep changes are developmental, there's very little at this age that parents do that makes a difference. It's mostly down to your child as an individual. Sorry - probably not what you wanted to hear!

@4amWitchingHour sounds like us except the story as she gets a bit impatient if I try to do that when she is tired.
Yesterday night she did a 4 hours stretch and then woke up every 2 hours, which hasn’t happaned in weeks. I am hoping it will be the same again tonight but shouldn’t dream too much ehehhe
Did your DC suddenly stop waking every hour without you doing much?

@Marghe87 yep, literally did nothing different, he just suddenly did three hour stretches one night about a month ago and has done pretty much ever since.

If he wakes up but doesn't need feeding I walk him round, and then break out the white noise if he's really not dropping off, but that's not so often any more.

I skip the story if he's really hungry and therefore unhappy (another reason why I've brought in the pre-nappy feed), but try to stick with it otherwise, as it is the one thing which is totally unique to bedtime, and he usually calms down as soon as the book comes out if he's been antsy before (he doesn't like nappy changes!)

I feed my 5 month old to sleep, I don't mind doing it as it gives me time to read my book! I will worry about or consider sleep training if/when it becomes a problem. But for now it's the quickest and easiest way to get her to sleep. The only routine I follow is getting up at the same time everyday.

Bloody hell don't be too hard on yourself. Self settling and longer periods of sleep are both developmental - your baby will get there. Stay consistent with what you're doing, including feeding to sleep if you want, and all will come right naturally as the months go on. Enjoy the snuggles as they get less and less!

@linerforlife yes I agree, that’s why I also don’t want to do any type of sleep training (also as based on what I read it can be bad for the baby’s own development) but was hoping tweaking the routine might have helped with the many night wakings for milk. I keep reading feeding to sleep creates a sleep association and that’s why they want to feed again and again at the end of each sleep cycle. There so much info out there, sometimes it’s hard to know what’s right.

My daughter is 15 weeks and we do a book, bath, massage, dress for bed, feed cuddle and then in her next to me, the routine starts at about 6.20 with her story and she’s down asleep by 7.20 x